Quarters for Smiles

I was the child every parent refers to, the one they look at and say "I hope my child doesnt do that." Let me change that - I am still that child. What in the world is she talking about, youre thinking. Well, do you remember those claw machines? With tons of stuffed animals in them? Some contain other cool things, like electronics or movies, to attract adults. I am the dreaded person who begs for quarters to play those games. And I am not satisfied until I win something. Actually, I refuse to walk away unless I have something in my hands to display my victory to those watching, because you KNOW people gather around to watch... it becomes a spectacle.

If you have never played one of these incredible games, which typically are scams, preying on the innocence of young children - and me - who desire to have a cuddley creature to take home... let me paint you a picture so you can understand the process:

50 cents. "Mommy! Theres a claw game! Can I please please have 2 quarters so I can play to win a really cute monkey?" (Typically the prizes are random.) "Ok." The 2 quarters are dropped in your little hands as you clasp them, a giant smile spreading across your face.
Then you run over to the claw game, proudly displaying your 2 quarters for any other children around to see, because you got the quarters and they didnt. Then you gingerly put one in the slot, wait to hear the clink of it landing inside, then slide in the other one. The game lights up, the claw jerks to life, waiting for you to grab the throttle. Your little hands squeeze the throttle - its not about how tight you hold it, but something about making little fists makes you have more faith. You focus your eyes on that smiling monkey - waiting for you to save him from his cage, then to your hands around the throttle, then to the claw as you begin to move it.
You move the claw left, then forward, then a little more to the left, then backwards, then right, then forward, then left, making sure it is right over the monkey, who now seems to be mocking you with his smile. You quickly look down to see how much time you have left. There never seems to be enough time. With 3 seconds left, you push down on the button to release the claw. Because you dont think the claw knows what it is doing, you hold that button down until it reaches your monkey. The claw encapsulates around your monkey... You let your thumb off the button and watch helplessly, eager to see if the claw succeeded.
The claw closes, trapping your monkey within its metal bars. You smile, because you know you are taking that monkey to a good home. The claw begins to recoil, going upward. It drops your monkey because the grasp wasnt firm enough. You throw your head back and watch the claw return to its starting position, hoping that monkey might hop up to it to ride to the prize bin. But your monkey remains seated in the midst of all the other animals.
You hang your head and head back to your mom, monkeyless. Though she can tell what happen, she asks how it went. You respond, "Can I please have another 2 quarters Mommy?? I HAD it! I did! Ill get it this time! Please!" Seeing your disappointment and your refusal to give up, she digs in her change purse again and pulls out 2 more quarters. Before putting them in your little hands, she says, "This is the last time ok? This is it. I dont have any more to give you." You ferociously nod your head yes, but you dont hear what shes saying - you see those quarters and you are already planning your strategy to win that monkey. Besides, youre going to win this time. There wont be a next time.
As soon as those coins are dropped into your hands, you return to the claw.
If you dont know how the rest of the story goes, scroll up to the beginning of the simulation and read again. Do until exhausted... because that is when the child will finally give up.

I am 20 years old and I still go through this process whenever I go to Dennys. I cant imagine what would happen if I ever walked into a casino. This week, my family and I went to Fuddruckers. If you know what Fuddruckers is, you probably already know where this story is going. We ordered our food, found a table, and sat down. Instantly, I spotted a different variation of the claw game. Typically, I dont even go toward the games they have because I have gotten in trouble with them before. I know it is best to stay away. It takes a lot of self control, but I know it is in everyones best interest for me to stay away. This time, though, I thought I had it.

I walked over to check it out, figured it was something I could handle, and returned to the table for $2. Ya! $2! Steep, right?! Well this was one of those games that applied to the adults, containing iPads and iPod Touches. I have an iPod Touch. I dont really want an iPad, but I had to try. I mean... I had to. It taunted me. So my sister walked over to the machine with me, for emotional support. The first time I didnt know what I was doing and completely botched it. The second time, I was millimeters off... No kidding. Being THAT close, I had to try again. I scrounged up $2 at the table, special thanks to my family for supporting my obsession, and returned to the game. This time.... I HAD it! And I had witnesses. But the stupid directions werent clear enough. I even debated with the manager about it. I was standing my ground.

Long story just as long - I walked away empty-handed, defeated by the claw (or in this case, scissors). Every time I walk away from those things, whether I have a prize to show off or I have lighter pockets, I get frustrated. Its an absolute scam. No doubt about it. The companies who make these machines rig them to drop the toys or to run out of time. Everyone knows that, including me. Parents even tell their children that the odds are against them. Do you think that affects their desire to win?? Nope! Does it affect my desire to play those things and win something?... at 20 years old?? Nope! Recently, a friend told me he once won THREE stuffed animals from one of those things in one sitting. THREE! Are you kidding?? Thats impossible. Literally - it doesnt happen. I was so jealous. Heck, I am super jealous. Thats just not fair!

Anyways. Those games do 3 things. They feed on the desires of innocent young children - and me. They prey on children - and me - by dangling the things children - and me - cant resist in front of them. And finally, they scam children and their parents. Parents have to allow their children to try at least once. It is up to them if they are going to keep providing a way to play. But if 50 parents allow their child to play and give him 50 cents, thats $25! Shoot my mom still has a hard time saying no. Im pathetic. And I know it.

Its infuriating that people get pleasure - and money - from preying on innocent children. And yet, I am one of the ones supplying them with the chairs they are sitting in while they decide which cheap stuffed animals to fill the claw machine with. Dont get me wrong, I have conquered the claw machine a few times. Some of the happiest moments I have are when I walked away from the claw with a victorious symbol. Though those times are few, they surpass the memories of losing. Conquering the claw machine is one of the greatest accomplishments. I mean, you beat the system. You put in 2 quarters and walked away with a prize and the attitude of a winner, worth much more than 2 quarters.

Nameless

I now have 5 followers! I don't know if they all read my blog, but at least they've been documented!

- And now for the real post -

Today was an interesting day. It proved to be one of "expect the unexpected" ... or rather "not expecting the unexpected." I had a plan for the day. Class. Class. Bank. Starbucks. Homework. Not very exciting, I know, but such is life. Class - check. Class - check. Bank - well, heres where the story begins.

On my way to the bank, traveling down Magnolia, I noticed a fairly young looking German Shepherd weaving in and out of the street, in front of cars. I think everyones response to this is "Oh puppy! Get off the street!" Then a thought process of should I stop? What would I do with her? Well, as these thoughts went through my head - all remaining unanswered, I pulled up to a light to turn left in attempts of catching her, just as she skipped by my car. She was scared and obviously confused - I couldnt leave her. I threw my car into park and got out of my car to call her, just as she stopped in front of a long line of cars. Luckily, she came to me and decided a ride with me wouldnt be too terrible. No collar, no visible identification... faaaantastic.

I called my mom, declaring I had a crisis on my hands. I dont think there was any surprise in her voice when she found out my crisis involved picking up a stray dog and needing a place to take her. So I drove to an animal shelter I remember passing one time. It was a nice, newer facility. I, literally, ran in, asking for a leash, then ran back to her... My last desire was to be that person who leaves their dog in their car. When I came back, she was sitting in my front seat... something I know I will see often in my life - a dog riding with me in my front seat.

Luckily, again, she let me put a leash on her. I took her in and held her while we waited to be called. Poor girl, she was so scared, but she was very sweet. At one point, an animal control-er noted she was animal aggressive when she barked at two Pitbulls outside. She hadnt made a peep when we first walked in to see a chocolate Lab... But now she was labeled "dog aggressive." I felt for her. Im sure she wasnt. But she couldnt tell him if she had canine friends back at home or if she frequents the dog park. And I was just a girl who found a dog, so my opinion wasnt valid. I told her Ive been called things Im not, too. I think we connected.

Once I was called, I only gave the woman my id, told her where I found her, and then I was done. She told the animal control-er he could take her and I instantly felt my eyes blink back tears. What the heck??? Ive been with this dog for an hour. Right?? I asked what happens with her... Yes, my curious mind never lets me walk away without being answered. She told me her owners had 7 days to pick her up, but then she would be theirs, and since she was labeled animal aggressive, they wouldnt be able to adopt her out. My heart sank. I looked at her, sitting next to me, still scared. Did I just deliver her to her doom?

She gave me a number to call to ask about her, but at that moment I wished I had never brought her. Fighting back tears, a helped the control-er put another leash on her, took off the one I had borrowed, and told her goodbye.

As soon as Id left, my strength was gone. I started crying, thinking about how scared she was, how she might not get a chance to be reunited with her family - or find a home - all because that stupid man had pinpointed her as animal aggressive. I got in my car and began to drive away, struggling with whether I had done the right thing. When the "right thing" may lead to a loss of life, how can that it be right thing?

My mom assured me owners usually call the local shelter if driving around is a bust. I tried to reassure myself that she looked as if she had been well taken care of, not malnourished at all. Hopefully owners who care that much about their dog will want to find them. But I was still upset. I mean, I just spent an hour with this dog, allowing her to trust me, allowing her to become dependent on me... then I leave her.

And, of course, the question of why in the world am I becoming a vet pops into my brain. If I cant be objective in a situation like that, am I in any condition to perform surgery, put a dog down? I began to reevaluate my life goal. Obviously, Im still evaluating. And Im trying to figure out why I was put in that situation. I believe those are delivered to us for a reason. But Im having a hard time finding the reason. Is this telling me I am striving towards the wrong dream? Is this just a preparatory situation? Why cant God hand out scripts for these things - explaining how were supposed to respond, why its happening, etc..??

I titled this blog Nameless. Honestly, I was at a loss for how to label this situation. This dog had a name, Im sure, but I didnt know it. Secretly, I named her. Of course, I didnt call her it - I know youre never supposed to give a name... But, of course... I did. Because even though I didnt know her name, she was never Nameless.