Sunday, September 27, 2009

Flying Control

It has been several days since I have written, but I have been wanting to write about a certain experience I had several weeks ago now. That experience was going to a wedding in Northern California. You may think I am going to write about the wedding itself, which I may mention, but this blog is about the journey of getting there.
I am not a fan of flying. I used to love it. I would silently squeal when I felt weightless for the three seconds right after take-off. But I no longer experience that terrifying moment as a thrill.
For my first flight, going up there, they delayed the boarding process for quite some time due to some type of a leak the pilot was concerned about. I would rather switch to a plane that is leakless rather than ride on a plane that may or may not be spilling fuel all the way to Sacramento area. I feel as if that would be considered murder-suicide by the pilot. But, all seemed well as we boarded the plane. Understand that one time, I boarded a plane that literally had duct tape on the inside of the plane. Terrified that that was what was holding the multi-ton object together, I threatened myself to get off. After several minutes of debating whether or not it would be worth it to deal with finding another flight, or risk my life with a plane held together by duct tape, I realized the duct tape was actually holding a tube, which ran from one of the overhead containers down to a woman with an oxygen mask. Crisis averted... This time. The stories I could share about my plane experiences are limitless. Including a rookie pilot, which I would bet my life on the fact we were probably his test group, as well as a sudden drop that made me truly concerned that I would soon be facing judgment day. Moving on.
The trip was wonderful. There, of course, were some funny and interesting moments that occurred. At one point I fell while walking down a street in Sac town at about 10 at night. Glorious. Or rather, graceful. Anyways. It was a short, yet sweet trip. Sunday we all headed home. Me on my plane, my family on theirs. However, they deboarded due to a crack in the engine. Huh. How ironic. Hopefully they checked my plane for cracks in the engine. Well, the flight wasnt too horrible. But flying is still not on my list of favorite things. Letting go of my control is not an easy thing for me. And to trust someone else to get me somewhere... Its nerve wracking. I might feel more comfortable flying the plane myself. And no, I have no flight experience, but that gives you an idea of me. The entire flight process is something I just cannot grasp. How much does this plane weigh, exactly? And were staying in the air...? Truly, I am in awe, yet feel some things are better left unanswered.
What I found interesting is a mere two days later, while sitting in my New Testament Survey class, my professor began talking about flying. He was just as stumped about the concept as I am. He said, "I just cannot understand how a thing that weighs several tons is able to stay in the air. Can someone truly explain it to me? Truly. Im very interested." And I sat laughing inside. Thinking, you and me both, man. You and me, both. Flying is a chance for people to let go of their control issues... I... am still working on that.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Beginning Fresh

What a beginning. I have moved in to our apartment here at the beautiful California Baptist University. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours, but I do feel blessed already. I have seen few familiar faces, but what a welcoming they have provided. From my roommate leaping off the couch and jumping in my arms to greet me to the load squeal from a visitor at the door, I cant help but feel I am supposed to be here. This is what God intended for me. Talking to these incredible friends, they have realized the same thing. What an incredible experience that God is revealing things to us at the same time, and its all similar. I have yet to meet my other apartment mate, but I am very excited. I feel this year will be a fresh beginning. Of course the struggles will occur, but they will occur anywhere I go, in anything I do. But this is what is happening in my life right now, I don't regret a moment of my decisions to get here. Obviously, I still miss home, miss the extreme familiarity of the surroundings (though its better this year than last), miss my family - my mom. And saying goodbye to my dog proved very difficult for me, as I teared up and kissed her, with a feeling I wouldn't see her again. Even now as I think about her, my eyes swell with sadness. I have to convince myself I will see her again. Gives me a reason to visit. But every foul must wander away from its stable to learn what types of grass and other fouls there are in the world. The past is behind me. Last year had its difficult sufferings, but they are in the past. I learned from them, I overcame them, only by the grace of God.
But as I sit on the couch, looking out the window to see a beautiful grassy field, sipping my coffee, and reading some of His Word, I realize how blessed I am. So many times I have asked why am I being put through this? Why do I deserve this. Struggles have been near and far, but they have been persistent. Now I realize, He is rewarding me with a new experience, a fresh start. And that is so incredible to know. Incredible to know He has always been with me, He has never left me. Only with Him am I standing in this spot right now, well sitting. But how amazing is that? I miss home, but I will visit often. And there is no way I am staying here the rest of my life.... Lord, don't pull a fast one on me and have me end up here. I will return to the wonderful San Diego as my final resting place (not burial, but living til I die - hopefully of old age). Anyways, this is now, this is MY now. And I am lovin every minute of it.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Tortured by the Bell

The time has come. It is time to return to school. Kids all over have been shopping for new clothes, putting together new school supplies, and mentally preparing themselves for yet another year of school. I am definitely included in this statistic. Though I have been trying to keep it a secret that I do not like school, I think it is finally time to release this secret to the world. I hate school. Literally, every aspect. And on that note, I am facing another year of school. Now, college is a whole different world from anything I've ever experienced in life. I have learned a lot about others around me and about myself as a person. I think it has been good for me, but I feel enough with the good... I'm done learning. I'm ready to be done. Or at least, I'm prepared to make the decision to work at Mikky Ds for the rest of my life, instead of working my tail off for the next infinity amount of years trying to make the grade. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for those serving me at Mc Donalds, as well as other food places, I'm most definitely not knocking them. Anyways, as I pack up my things to move back to Torture Land, it leaves me thinking about things.
I do not understand why people are so persistent on moving out of their parents' homes. It's understandable if it is a bad home, but when someone has loving parents who provide for them, I wonder why anyone would want to leave that. I realize I am so blessed by my parents. They have never forced me into anything I did not want to do. They never left me unprepared for anything I stood up against. They put a roof over my head, gave me many options of food to eat daily, and provided a stupendous amount of love and support. Why would anyone want to leave this? If I felt my school wasn't where I should be, I would leave it in a split second. I would love to live at home, work, go to school, all the while chasing my dreams of becoming a veterinarian. But that isn't right for me. It may be right for others, of which I am a little jealous of, but I am being led another way to achieve my dreams. A way in which I am excited for, but I feel I am ready to finish this adventure, rather than just beginning it.
I know this is what I should be doing though. I know this is right. But each day I contemplate quitting it all, finding a cave far far away, and settling down there. No expenses, no responsibilities, no cares. But, then I think, that is so not what I want. So I go back to my question: Why is it that so many people wish to leave home so quickly? Of this answer, I am convinced. They do not want to leave, they are happy being provided for. But, they must leave to pursue their dreams, which often require an education. Don't worry guys, your secrets safe with me... But don't be too secretive... After all, we're all in the same boat anyways.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Tea Time

Today was a special day for us girls in the family. Yes, there are a lot of girls in my various families, but these 3 girls are my favorite girls... no offense to any other girls from my family who read this. I truly love you all, but for everyone, I think you need to love your grandma, mom, and sister(s) and put them at the top of your favorite list. Well, a tradition we try to do is tea time. Mind you, it does not happen a lot. But when it does, it is very special. Tea time is not just tea. Tea time is an experience. Just like a little boy goes to a baseball game with his dad. Sits next to him wearing an oversized t-shirt, ball cap, and eating a hot dog, the experience is so much more than just the game itself. For tea time, its getting ready, spending time with your favorite people (typically girls, sorry guys, this is not so much up your alley), enjoying various types of tea, trying to be ladylike with the sizes of bites you take of the finger sandwiches, and talking in an English accent, which can often change into other accents for some people. So my sister, mom, and grandma embarked on our tea time at the glorious Aubrey Rose. For quite a while, we sat and talked, sipped tea, laughed, and ate our sandwiches.
Have you ever had tea? It's such a delightful experience. It leaves you full and satisfied, yet secretly craving more of the yumminess. Finger sandwiches. So inventive, yet not too practical. For tea, it is different. You drink loads of tea. Cheeky Peach, Apricot Special, Cinnamony Goodness, etc. (names of teas have been changed due to lack of memory). It fills you up! And then, of course, you need to get it all out... drinking a lot of liquids does that to you. So in reality, the finger sandwiches are more than satisfying, along with the slices of fruit and scone.
The tea experience is one of my absolute favorite things to do. It dominates my favorite tv show and shopping at a stores (weekly) "ANNUAL BLOWOUT" sale. I take tea as a "high society" experience. Not only is the food delicious, but the company is fantastic. Surrounded by the three most lovely ladies in my life, I always realize I love these times. Talking in our English accent, with Jordanna slightly branching off into a western accent on occasion. Its quite splendid, that is really the way to explain it.
Perhaps, my favorite part of the event was my grandma's explanation of her recent adventure. My grandma is like the woman version of the Crocodile Hunter, but not as much with crocodiles (they aren't very common near her house). She is fearless. A classy woman who is not afraid to get her hands dirty. I am sure I haven't heard nearly half of her stories. This story was about her encounter with a rattlesnake. Mind you... not her first. She has become quite the snake charmer... apparently. Now just lst night my mom was explaining that some things are better left unknown, including things that may occur in college or whatnot. That would make sense for young teens, but an elderly woman? You would think what would a grandma do that would scare you? I have to say, these rattlesnake stories with my 60 year old grandma are stories I would much rather not know, not because I'm not proud of my grandma, but because it rather frightens me to hear the things she does. I just pray we don't get a call saying she was bit one time. Nevertheless, can you say your grandma is a snake charmer? I didn't think so. My grandma is cool, I just hope there aren't any snakes that turn wise on her... though she's a smart lady.
These ladies are the most incredible ladies. Each has had different struggles, yet continues to wake up each morning and face the day. I am very blessed to call these ladies my family. Especially, my mom, my grandma, and my sister. I look up to them more than anyone in my life. And I am so thankful for them.