Real Celebrities are Heroes

Last night I realized something about myself.

I went to Ritas, a nearby Mexican restaurant last night with my friend, Katie. I immediately noticed a police car parked outside and figured we would encounter cops inside, since Ritas is a common hangout site for cops and fire fighters. Sure enough, across the room I spied two police officers sitting at a table, eating. One looked at me as I walked in and continued to watch me as I scanned the menu. I looked over at him and smiled - after all, we did make eye contact. He nodded and smiled back. I shyly looked back at the menu, like a child who just had a stranger say hi to them. I felt foolish, but this is where the realization kicked in. I tried not to keep looking over at them even though I was curious of what they had spread over the table. It was like I saw someone famous and I couldnt believe I was in the same area as them.

I look at police officers as if theyre celebrities. I put fire fighters and all the men and women fighting for our freedom on the same level.

I have instant respect for these people in uniform. I still get excited when I see a fire truck and just recently stopped waving at police cars (I feel it might be a little strange, seeing as Im 20 now). I am always in awe when I come across them. Im always dumb-founded, wanting to say something funny so they have a funny story to tell their buddies back at the precinct, or firehouse. Typically, with fire fighters, my conversation starter involves my aunt, who works at San Miguel fire station. (Usually the trucks/fighters I see have San Miguel all over them.) That always goes over real well. They ask who my aunt is - they always know her - and then theyll talk to me, since shes kinda important and I am her niece! I dont usually talk to police officers. I get nervous that if I say the wrong thing they could get suspicious of me. I highly doubt that would ever happen, but the power they hold makes me extra cautious. My uncle was a San Diego cop for years. I should be a pro at talking to those guys. But I always hesitate before saying something.

Anyways. As I was acting like a child, afraid to talk to a stranger, I realized I looked at them in the same way someone would look at a celebrity. However, why do we get so excited to see a celebrity - an actual "famous" person? What have they done, really? [Im grouping here, of course... I know the following allegations dont apply to every celebrity.] They provide entertainment, sure. Shoot, give me a mirror and I can entertain myself for hours. I dont get any money for it, though. They provide "role models" for kids to look up to. Although most of these people take advantage of the privileges they dont deserve. They behave in a manner they should be ashamed of and are definitely not the people I would want my child to look up to. They give to good causes. Well give me millions of dollars to spare and Ill start my own charity. But are they risking their own lives to save others? Are they protecting citizens at the expense of losing their friends or their own lives? Do they ever ask themselves 'will I go home tonight?'?

So really who are the real celebrities? Dont get me wrong, I realize that every time I turn on the tv, there is some famous person that is providing me entertainment. But why do we put them on such a pedistool? Shouldnt we look at the real heroes and put them on a pedistool? Maybe it sounds foolish to view them in such a way, but ultimately, they just dont get the credit they deserve. They deserve to have people come up, asking for autographs. They deserve to have people want to take pictures with them. They deserve it... And they do all they do without expecting any type of gratitude.

Hope for Humanity

For several weeks, I have been debating what to blog about. I know youre all just itching to hear about what is happening in my life... I know I am such an exciting person. But I try to have points to my posts. I know I typically dont have a point and I end up rambling - which could happen in this blog, too. I still dont have a system of what I want to talk about. I would upload some pictures, but my camera wont connect with my computer and upload my pictures for some reason. As soon as I get that figured out, maybe Ill have more of a story to tell. Pictures say 1000 words, but I can easily add an extra thousand actual words. =)

Well yesterday turned into much more of an adventure than I had planned. Yet, it provided a moment of gratitude, and hope, that humanity might not constantly turn on each other. Without going into explicit detail of what occurred, Ill provide a short version.
My mom and I had to travel to the post office to pick up a package... I know what youre thinking. The post office?? Two days after Christmas?? Youre insane! And maybe so, but I had to do what I had to do. So we forced our elbows out, ready to plow down whoever stood against us with a problem.

Although really, we didnt expect a problem. We knew, more than anything else, it would be time consuming. It would be a test of patience. It would determine whether we could handle the busy street of Fletcher Parkway afterward, packed with cars heading to the same place we were - wouldnt you know?! But a problem did occur. And not only that... it escalated.

It began when a woman entered the parking lot going the wrong direction. If you know the El Cajon post office, Im sure youre already rolling your eyes and letting out a sigh of "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" (Even if youre not familiar with this particular parking lot, you understand the image and how irritating this is.) But it gets better. This woman began to back out, giving us all a little relief... only until we realized she was parked waiting for a spot from a leaving car... about to compete with the car directly in front of us - who was going the right way and following the rules. I know, I know. Well the dumb wrong woman won that battle. Obviously she was willing to fight a little harder.

Skipping some parts of the story, we were lucky to pull into a newly opened spot and walked into the post office, appalled at what we had just witnessed. Unfortunately the girl was two people in front of us, clutching her young son, looking around as if she was about to get jumped. You heard me, she knew she was in the wrong and she knew someone was gonna call her on it. I was proud that that person was my mom.

She looked directly at my mom, who took that moment to tell her that move was flat out rude. Not a microscale of remorse showed on that girls face as she began to argue with my mom claiming shed been waiting for 15 minutes and had no other choice but to enter the wrong way. My mom wasnt distraught or escalating, just putting her on notice that there are other people waiting, too. Not five seconds later, the woman who had been cut off, walks by and mentions how rude that was, then walks out of the building.

I had overheard a man saying he heard the wrong girl laugh when she got out of her car, as if to be proud of herself and stick it to the right car. All the while this girl was defending herself to my mom, he stood at the entrance, listening to what she was saying. Finally, he broke his silence. I wont give detail of what he said, but he put a cement foot down... hard to move.

[This story is turning longer than I had anticipated, but arent you captivated?!]

Needless to say, she ended up leaving, chasing the guy outside to have the final say. She never came back in and decided to do her business elsewhere. It was truly one of the most ridiculous things Ive ever seen - her not taking responsibility for being in the wrong, not apologizing, trying to justify her actions, arguing with someone who was older than her and therefore had more authority... It was terrible.

But the entire experience was exhillerating. It gave me hope. People, who were not directly involved in the situation, joined forces to stand against an injustice. I know its a simple situation, compared to the massive issues we face today, but its a symbol that people still recognize right and wrong. And that people arent afraid to stand up for someone. It was exciting. If people will stand together against something like this (which, honestly, it was extremely rude) then theres no doubt in my mind well be able to stand together in the future, against the tough stuff and the simple stuff that still needs to be brought to light.

I know we still need a lot of help.... but for now, Ill cling to that situation. Ill hold on to knowing that there still are people out there who will be honest and uphold what they know to be right. Cuz after all, where would we be if we all were constantly against each other? We all need somebody to lean on...

The Meaning of Flowers

I feel I often begin my blogs with apologizing for the lack of posts I provide my readers... this one shall be no different. I am sorry, to all my readers, for slacking on the blogging process. Ive so desperately been wanting to blog, to tell a funny story, to share about whats been happening. But I feel as if I have nothing of importance to relay to my audience. So I choose to not say anything. Besides the fact that school is taking over my life.
However, I feel I should break my silence with something to give you to read. The past few weeks have been incredibly insane. School, as I mentioned, is TAKING OVER MY LIFE. But the past week has been one of lessons for me. Mostly, they have been lessons of listening - listening to others around me and being silent, as sometimes a listening ear is all that is needed.
What is also interesting is that Philippians 2 has been brought to my attention several times this week. [This is related to the listening thing...] My wonderful sister blogged recently, and encountered herself in the same predicament Ive found myself in - not knowing what to write about. But instead of random ramblings, she chose to share the Word... something I wish I did more. What exactly did she share? Philippians 2... I know... I told you! Its been on my mind. And its convicting.
Philippians 2:1-4 says, "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others."

This week I had several friends share struggles theyve been faced with in the recent times. One friend broke up with her boyfriend. This friend planned on marrying him... Amongst other hardships shes dealing with, shes one of the leads in the new play here. I decided I needed to be there for her - I needed to be there opening night to encourage her. She needed a smiling face, cuz lets be honest, those smiling faces sometimes help. I needed to look into her interests, rather than my own. (Im not saying Im a saving angel right now, just telling the story.) Before the show, I went to search for flowers for her. I figured it was a common gift for actors in plays. But more than that, I know how I feel when I receive flowers.

That is probably my most girly quality - I love being given flowers. I love roses. I love colorful arrangements. I just love flowers. And I realize how significant flowers can be, and how much they can say. Flowers appear at the most important events of our lives: weddings, births, illness, celebratory events, funerals... I believe flowers speak to people, they signify someone was thinking of you, someone wanted to make you smile. And flowers are beautiful! They are an amazing creation...
Anyways. I found a gorgeous, colorful arrangement and decided they were perfect for my beautiful friend. Monica and I went to the play, ready for anything. The play was great... But my friend was fantastic! She was incredible. And knowing the struggles behind the acting, I admired her for remembering every line, singing wonderfully, and just getting up there. I was so proud of her. After the show, we waited for our star to make her appearance in the lobby. She came out and made a beeline to us. I gave her the flowers and she grabbed me for a hug. She explained how her boyfriend would always get her flowers on opening night and she was dreading the end of the show because that wouldnt be there... But she didnt have to face it... And she was so grateful and she shed a few tears.
Im not a cryer, but I had a hard time staying strong with an encouraging smile on my face. I wanted to break down with her. But I knew it wouldnt help, so I held her and maintained my smile. It made me realize, even more, how much flowers can mean to people. Sure, they die. But even when theyre dead, they can be just as beautiful as when they are alive. Right now, we have two different dried bouquets of flowers hanging on the walls in our apartments (both were given to me). But its what they mean. And she could not have understood their meaning better.
I included a few pictures of some beautiful flowers that played a part in my life. One picture is of arrangements from my sisters wedding - symbolizing new beginnings and celebrations. Another picture is of an arrangement Monica gave me for my birthday, because she knows how much I love them. (This was obviously to celebrate one of the greatest births on the planet! ;)) And finally - a picture of the gorgeous flowers leading to my house, symbolizing my most favorite thing - home.

Moments... or maybe Hours...

Whew. Its the weekend. Thank the Lord.

These past few weeks have been absolutely insane. From tests to quizzes to papers to article reviews to studying to presentations... I feel as if my head is spinning from everything my professors thrust upon me. I feel its too much, but I know its only the beginning of my very long, very difficult road. Ive been trying to keep my head above the water (no pun intended - as I am in Lifesaving) but I feel as if Im having a hard time... I need someone to save my life! Joke joke. And in the midst of all the academia Ive been trying to accomplish, Ive dealt with other obstacles I did not expect. Needless to say, this semester was not how I dreamed it would be. But I have been trying to keep a smile on my face. I have been trying to maintain a positive attitude and take out my stress in a constructive way. This, for me, is not an easy task to succeed at on a daily basis. Its been a struggle, but Ive been trying.
Well though it seems as if I just want to complain about my week, I had little things each day that proved to be God working, telling me to take a time out, if you will. Each day brought a good conversation, a new revelation, a reason to praise our amazing God. Though I dont keep a journal of each days' events, therefore I dont remember the exact date and time of each thing, I remember that they meant something to me. Recognizing the little things has been something my mom always mentions. And now I read my sisters blogs, which are often celebrating the little moments, or blessings, we should cherish.
I saw an acquaintance who became a good friend during the conversation. Actually, this happened with two people.
I saw one of my all time favorite people and ra (theyre the same person) a few times this week and was able to connect, yet again, with her. She is one of the cutest people I know and is always uplifting, even if its just a quick hug.
I hung out with my roommates several different times this week. I feel weve been bonding and I really appreciate it. I think living with them has been a huge blessing. God has a plan for it all along. (Obviously...)
I find myself being so incredibly grateful for the people who surround me in my Microbiology and Organic Chemistry classes. And theres a lot... Im making lots of friends in there - we connect on the basis of feeling as if were victims. Anyways. Grateful for people. Especially my two guy friends (who both have girlfriends, just as a clarifying statement). They have been encouraging, without even realizing it, Im sure. They have provided me with some laughter when I just really needed a laugh.
[I would like to make a disclaimer that I really am not the most "people oriented" of people... I manage to keep to myself a majority of the time. But I think in the midst of trying to focus on what I needed to accomplish and stressing out about various assignments and tests, God put these people in my life at these times as if to say, "You are not alone. People understand." Or something like that. Relationships with people are important... even though I may feel as if I could live with my bunches of dogs and be totally fine... people relationships are important.] Anyways. Continuing on.
Somehow I got everything done. I dont know how. I felt as if there just arent enough hours in the day to complete everything that needs to be done, but somehow everything got completed to turn in. I may or may not have stayed up until 230 last night/this morning to finish some things, but the important part is that my brain stayed awake with me. Thank you Lord!
I made a conscious decision to miss my creative writing class on Monday. First class I missed all semester... This professor is extremely strict on his attendance policy, so I skipped with a twitch and worked on my short story (which was supposed to be done... which was why I didnt go to class). Wednesday, I went to class, but nobody was there. Knowing there were conferences all week during class times for our short stories, I figured we would share in our groups what we had while he talked with people... I guess class was canceled. And my USC football friend, who I saw later that day, informed me class was indeed canceled unless you had a conference. (And he was excited to see me! Ive realized I get excited when people get excited to see me. It makes my day.)
I wrote a huge majority of a short story for my creative writing class just in time to send it to my professor before we met to discuss it today. I didnt finish it, but I didnt know how. I expected him to be encouraging, but also be a little disappointed I didnt finish it. Instead, he showered me with compliments of how impressed he was and how good my story was. Hallelujah! Especially after 4 false starts on stories...
I FINISHED my Science and Faith class! Last class was last night and I even feel as if my presentation I gave on my abortion paper (due last week) went pretty well! That was quite the relief.
Im sure there were a few other little things Im forgetting. I wasnt expecting this blog to be this long though, so Im sure youre getting anxious to potty or something... Sorry. Now its the weekend. And I am so thankful for that. Even though these 2 short days will be compacted with studying for a Micro exam on Monday, I am grateful for the break from classes and waking up early.

Thank you, Lord, for getting me through this week... We got more work though! Lets GO!

A Humbling Moment

I am enrolled in a Creative Writing class. Though another English class is a requirement for me, I chose to wait for a fall semester when this Creative Writing class is offered. I like to write, though I dont usually have a whole lot of structure or point to my stories, I sometimes get a bug where I feel like writing. So anyways, I thought it would be good for me. Its also my "release" class. All my other class (with the exception of Lifesaving) are pretty tedious (and Im using the word "pretty" VERY loosely).
And so far, it has been my release class. This week, more than any others so far, has been crazy. And if I do say so myself - just a bad week. I had 2 tests, each in my more difficult classes. Neither of which I felt prepared for. I had 2 different article reviews to type up, having to find the articles on my own too, (which if you dont know, is just a hassle in itself). I had a partner presentation in my night class, which we had to put together, then prep for, then present Thursday night. I had a quiz in another class. I also had a lab report due in one class. Study sessions all throughout the week. Plus trying to get all my homework done. Needless to say, it was just a very stressful, very trying week.
But Creative Writing is my class where I didnt have anything that was mandatorally due (yes I believe I just made up that word). Creative Writing was my class where I got to sit, listen to people around me speak, listen to my professor talk, read different poems (which arent my favorite, but at least its not formulas in Organic Chemistry), and take a few deep breaths. I even had to turn in my journal last week and got it back from my professor on Monday - he had good things (and bad things) to say. He was encouraging and thought I was entertaining and have a lot of ideas. (He didnt read most of it though, cuz they were short stories and we are focusing on poetry right now.) But he was encouraging.
Anyways. In the midst of all this hecticness of the week, we got in our groups in Creative Writing on Wednesday. Though none of us had written anything, we sat and just chatted with each other anyways, getting a better idea of who each of us were.
Let me paint you a picture. Theres me, two other girls, and a guy. Were all different from each other, but we each bring something to the table. The one guy is mildly short and wears black a majority of the time. Hes not scary, but at the same time, hes not a small guy - hes tough looking - I wouldnt mess with him. The first day we got in our group I thought, hmmm this will be interesting. Not knowing what to expect, but already forming my own opinions (which is normal for me). I knew he must have a soft spot though, because he was wearing a Mickey Mouse watch. The first poem he read to us, that he had written, was a prayer to God, thanking him for the things he had given him. It was completely unexpected, but I was intrigued. I knew at that moment I had him all wrong. I still wouldnt pick a fight with him, but I knew he had a story, a passion for his Lord.
So Wednesday, in our groups, we began sharing how we came to CBU. I am the only one who didnt transfer, so my story ended up going last. David went first. It began by a comment made by another girl about him and he began asking us what our impressions were of him. I said, "You seem hard core to me." His response? "Why? What do you mean??" In my head, I feel like, I know Im not the least intimidating person. But Im not surprised when people tell me that. Why does this comment surprise you?? But I continued to explain that I wouldnt mess with him. Still confused, I elaborated. "Ok. If I had to walk down a dark alley and needed someone to walk with, I would walk with you. I would feel safe with you. (Which, to you readers, is not something I feel with a lot of guys.) I wouldnt want to walk with a guy who I feel I would have to protect." He laughed and understood. So anyways. Back to the story.
He began telling us he transferred from USC. Obviously, transferring out of USC is a bit of a big deal, seeing as so many people want to go there. We asked him why he came to CBU and he said, "Religious reasons." He really didnt want to reveal a whole lot on his own... I found out why a short few sentences later. We continued probing him, asking him why he left. Finally he said, "Well, I played football there... I just wasnt a playboy. All the guys on the football team had women all over them and would drink and I dont do any of that. At all. I would never do that. So it came down to I didnt want to be around that anymore." Hold up... Back up. "You played football at USC???" He kinda laughed and nodded. I really dont know a whole lot about college sports, but I know that USC football is a BIG deal. No, its a BIG deal. Come to find out a bit later - he was not only on the football team, he was a starter. Think you know cool people? Lets compare stories.
I was completely and totally amazed. He told us his dad and grandfather were pastors and that was always his calling but decided USC was for him. After some time, he and his dad decided it wasnt for him. And he came to Cal Baptist. He wasnt all roses though - he admitted sometimes he misses it. Misses that, but knowing where he could be right now, terrifies him and hes more than happy he navigated away from it and towards God. Its also bittersweet for him because hes going to have a lot of debt once he graduates from here, so knowing he had a full ride for football at USC was comforting. WHAT?! Who the heck is this kid??
And the whole time he shared with us, he continued to say, "Please dont take this comment as if Im arrogant, because I really am not and I strive not to be." Knowing how many guys are walking around campus, with their chests puffed out because they play on a good intramural flag football team, or something like that, is appalling. Knowing where this guy comes from and the fact that he goes about his business and doesnt even wear his UCS FOOTBALL shirts is inspiring.
Further talk came to reveal he is from East County and went to West Hills, a high school that is in my high schools district. It is such a small world... even with over 6 billion people living in it.
I hope you were as amazed at this guys story as I was. I seriously am in awe. He came from the cool of the cool. I feel like football players at USC often get drafted into the NFL... but I could be wrong. His life could have been so different. He could have had anything he wanted. He could have gone to school for free. He could have a huge ego. But he didnt. And he doesnt. He is cooler than a lot of guys I know. Sure, because of what hes done, but mainly because of the decisions hes made. He gave up everything to come to little Cal Baptist, who lacks a football team, and will now be in debt, all because he wanted to serve the Lord and pursue after Him with everything he had. I dont know about you, but in my opinion, that is very humbling.

Blind for a Bit

I mentioned in my last blog that I was going to be helping Monica with an assignment for a class on Monday (yesterday). Do you remember what it was? NO?! Did you even read the last blog?! Goodness. Well, I pretended to be blind while Monica led me around campus. I decided to blog about it because it truly was a unique experience. Ill share the events of the experiment, then Ill tell you my findings.
Immediately following my last class, Monica met me with a "blindfold" and we embarked to the caf. Our first obstacle was walking down the stairs of James. The steep stairs. A guy had opened the door just as I got there and held it open for us as we made our way down the stairs. He was the nicest person we encountered the entire time. She told me I had 4 steps to walk down and he began helping me also, verbally. Telling me, "Youre just about there and then you have 4 straight after another." Luckily, I had been down James before. But man, those steps were steep.
We walked to the caf, slid our cards to get in, then began searching for a table. Well, I held on to Monica while she searched for a table. We saw some friends; ok, I did not see them, but I heard them and they were cracking up. I mustve been a sight, but I didnt care. It was for the good of the class. We found a table, put our stuff down, and went to find food. I waited in line with Monica while she got food, then she made me a milkshake. (Im fasting during a certain part of the day.) But she made me stir the milkshake and do a majority of the making.
In the meanwhile, she asked a friend to record the whole thing. I had no idea he was actually following us around while I was doing this, but I came to find out he was. Once we completed the milkshake, we sat down and had our little lunch and then continued on our way out the door.
Our next stop was to the ARC (Academic Resource Center) to see if they had acquired any Organic Chemistry tutors. I think the lady I was talking to thought I was insane, but she answered my questions and was [not] super helpful. (Apparently they still arent ready to be making appointments.... Ill be stopping in again, today.) I then ran into the door walking out of the ARC.
We walked down to the basement of James - to the Kinesiology offices for Monica to ask a question. Those steps are steep too. Basically, I feel all of James should be burnt down. Its a total hazard. We found her professor, who began talking to her (and definitely acknowledged me, dont worry) about a project she would soon be doing. A class let out and people began walking by, once I had successfully landed on a couch against the wall in the hall. (Good thing that hadnt gone anywhere.) Someone said hi to me... I asked who they were... (Which happened several times during the day.)
Walking back up the stairs, Monica ran into the wall, trying to be concerned with if I was walking ok. Apparently, those stairwells are not made for 2 people to walk them side-by-side. We went back to our apartment, dropped off our stuff, then walked across the street. This is the ultimate test for me. I hate walking by streets, across streets, etc. I get nervous with all the rushing cars. But she did very well with me. It was a good test of friendship, that crosswalk. Upon returning to the apartment, our experiment/assignment had been concluded.
Monica was a little frustrated by peoples reactions - apparently people had some strange looks on their faces and were making some weird comments... I, of course, could not see their faces and only heard some comments. I was unaffected though by that. I mean, its rude, but obviously Im doing this for a reason. I dont just walk around with a blindfold on for the heck of it. A lot of people had things to say though, asking what we were doing. Even people working in the caf were getting a kick out of it and asking, "Whats going on with the blind girl with you?" So people definitely made things more interesting.
As a blind individual for a short while, I have to say, it was very frustrating. And scary. Having to depend on another for safety and things is not a comforting thing for me. I like to be in control and do things myself. I think sight is one of the most precious things. I would much rather lose my hearing, in all honesty. I might not be able to hear things, but I can see a door I would run into. Though I had an all new appreciation for my senses. I would rely on my other senses - especially hearing. Listening for people around me, cars near me, etc. etc. It was mildly exhausting as I spent all my extra energy on that. I also realized I had absolutely no sense of time being blind. I wouldnt know if it was light or dark, so I had no idea what time it was. I also realized it takes a lot longer than I previously thought to get places. When all you have to think about is walking, and you dont have things to look at around you and you cant see what point youre at, it seems to take a lot longer to get to somewhere.
It was all very interesting. Im glad I did it. It was a whole new world or experience for me. And now. I will leave you with a picture Monica took as I sat across from her. She, unbeknowst to me took it. I would post the video, but I cant make it work. So I hope you get a bit of an understanding of what part of my day looked - er, was - like yesterday.

A Trip Here; A Slip There...

I would like to introduce myself. Hi, my name is Carly and I am a total klutz in many areas of life.

The past few days have been interesting, just in the aspect of my travels to class, around the caf, to my apartment, where ever Im headed. Some would say this because they reconnect with people they see as they walk. Some may say this because this day is beautiful and walking in it is simply a glorious thing. The reasons may be endless, but I highly doubt many people say it for the reason I am about to give.

I have tripped, slipped, stumbled, etc. etc. so many times the past few days.... making it very interesting to say the least....

I mean, I was walking up to a door and didnt realize there was an incline... and totally fell forward. I had never been so thankful for a door in my life. Had it not been there, I wouldve fallen and probably hurt myself pretty bad. It has happened so many times. I thought I had the whole walking thing down. Ive already accepted I am not, nor will I ever be, a biker rider. But now, I have to relearn how to walk in order to be successful in getting around. Actually, connected with discoordination (kindof), my roommate, Monica, has to do an activity for a class where someone acts blind or is in a wheelchair and she has to guide them around campus. I immediately offered to be blind. I just realized, all I have to do is take out my contacts and-boom-Im blind. Guess this is going to be easier than I thought. Depending on how that goes, I may blog about it... Anyways, I dont know if its strange, but I dont usually become embarrassed when I trip... I just think its funny. But I guess to many people, that would be a very embarrassing moment.
Friday (yesterday) Monica and I went to the grocery store and ran a few other errands. I have to say the grocery store is one of my all-time favorite places. I get in such a good mood. I get all laughy-like and excited. I think its being around all that food. Ill have to dedicate a blog to the grocery store sometime... It might not be interesting, but it might help me understand my infatuation with the grocery store. After that, we went to Blockbuster. Did you know Beauty and the Beast is currently locked in the Disney vault?? Ive never been so frustrated with Disney.... Wait.... No, Im sticking with that comment. Ive never been so frustrated with Disney. To brighten our spirits, we listened to music. And sang along. And danced. Monica and Carly style. Its uncopiable. Thats right I said it. People just cant do what we do. We sang into our microphones (a hair brush and the iPod) and let the Beauty and the Beast disappointment melt away. (I still am irritated with that though.) Usually girls sing in their hairbrushes in their room... We do it in the car with tons of people around to see. Why do it in privacy? You need someone to do it with you and you need an audience!
Today we went to the beach to get our tan on and relax a little. In the short 2-2 1/2 hours we were there, I became a burnt lobster. You may be saying "Lobsters are red...." Yes, I understand that. And imagine that lobster being burned. Is it redder in your vision? It definitely should be. Im pretty red. And I sting. But Im focusing on what Ill look like when it turns into a tan. I think Ill look pretty good! At least, the back of me will.... The front of me wont be as tan because I spent more time tanning my back than my stomach, so now I have a nice "front" and "back" line along my sides. Its quite fabulous. But when it becomes tan, Im hoping it blends a little.

Not much else to report. The roomie and I are going to the Charger game tomorrow with my amazing parents. Were pretty stoked. (AND IT WAS AWESOME!!!!) Needless to say, this blog was random. Sorry about that. I felt I hadnt blogged in quite a while and figured your disappointment might fade when you check this blog and see a new post this time around. I probably shouldve called it "....and other random happenings...." But all well. Really... all is well. I shall do something before embarking on a home adventure. Farewell fellow bloggers and dear readers, who read my blog... even when its like this one....

**This blog was started on Friday and finished on Saturday.**And pictures where added on Monday.**

Back to the Basics... or TOUGHics

Well today is my first day of school. Actually, its my 16th first day of school (including kindergarten). I had four classes, beginning at 9 and ending at 1. Microbiology, Care and Prevention of Athletic Injuries, Organic Chemistry, and finally Intro to Creative Writing. Luckily, I started the morning in a fairly good mood. I fixed my dreadful self up a little bit and had some coffee in hand as I embarked on my day.

- Microbiology -

I know that class is going to be killer. I have a strong feeling it is going to be a lot of microscope work - which is my very least favorite thing to do. My professor is this Asian man who seems to be kinda funny. A big plus is that I can actually understand him, for the most part, so at least that will be helpful. Then, class was over. We only went over the syllabus, but hey, Im good with that. So I stood up and began getting prepared to leave as the girl in front of me swung her backpack around, knocking my coffee over. The one time I dont immediately close the lid after sipping, and the coffee spills, onto my backpack, into my backpack, onto some of my notebooks. Tragedy had struck. But I tried not to let it bother me, figuring it couldve been worse, and headed to my next class.

- Care and Prevention of Athletic Injuries -

This professor has had me concerned. I know a lot of people who say she is very difficult to understand, making her tests even more stressful and difficult. She seems very nice in a classroom setting, but I definitely understand how shes considered confusing. She shared most about the Athletic Training program, which she heads up. I recently changed my plan and am no longer planning to apply for the program, in case you arent a die-hard fan of my blogs and read them every time theyre posted. Then she began informing us of the recent changes that have been made to campus - some that we are aware of, some that we are not. The post has moved to an off-campus location (technically its on campus property, but its not within CBU gates). Where the old post was will now be Athletic Training (class?)rooms. Theres also more Athletic Training rooms in Diana Hall. She also was saying how shes trying to get approval to move our class to Diana Hall. Were all looking at each other puzzled, wondering where in the world Diana Hall is. Turns out its not too far from where the new post is. O good! A change of scenery from campus. No. That would mean I would have to walk from class, out of campus, around to my class, then walk back around the gate, onto campus, then to my next class. I know Im not the only one. So were all praying that her request is denied because we do not want to do that. Besides the fact that I would definitely be late to my classes. We only have 10 minutes to walk it. The last remainder of the class, which ended very early, had me concerned about that request shes waiting to hear about.

- Organic Chemistry -

The class requiring the most expensive books. Not one, not two, but three books. I was already not happy with this class and was already nervous because Chemistry became difficult for me... I can only imagine what Organic Chemistry will be like. My professor seems ok. I didnt get a huge impression of him. He did start lecturing.... in a way I definitely do not like, so I hope that was just because he wanted to go over a few terms or something, meaning next time will be much more structured.

- Creative Writing -

My final class for the day is Creative Writing. The class I am actually really excited for. I need another English credit and I wanted to take something that was much more free-lance, allowing me to have fun and not be so structured. I found I really like my professor, who was this bubbling middle-aged man who is very passionate about his writing. Obviously, creative writing is his favorite class to teach. Our big assignment is to write in a journal for 30-60 minutes daily. I think that will be difficult for me, but I guess it might be more of a release. Allowing me to take a break from my studying and such for my harder classes. But well see.
Each class will definitely be a little difficult in its own way. For sure, they will be time-consuming, and especially if I want to do well in my classes (which is an obvious yes) then I need to study daily to keep up with everything. After all of that, I went to Office Depot to get a few Composition books and another spiral bound notebook (to replace one that had coffee on it now). Then I went to buy books. Which.... I shouldnt even go into. My books are very expensive. I know I am definitely not the only student who encounters this problem, but it is extremely overwhelming for me. Standing in the bookstore, knowing I had to buy a few, I was frustrated and discouraged and trying my very best not to cry. A nice lady tried to help me, telling me about a renting website. I decided to check it out. I bought several books, but decided it would be in my best interest to rent a few others. I rented 3 books. I saved over $375 in doing so. I was very thankful for that lady.
Moving on. I mentioned that there are many changes going on. They are building another cafeteria/cafe thing closer to where I live. That was supposed to be done... its still in progress. Mind you, we have between 1200 and 1400 new students this year. They ran out of housing. They need to do something because the one cafeteria we have now is not going to accommodate everyone. It is crazy at lunch and dinner times - not even able to find a table. They also had a large snowy mountain mural painted in the caf. It... was not the best way to spend money, in every CBU students opinion. There is a large structure around the James building (which houses offices and classrooms). I thought it was to either hold it steady or for painting. Apparently they are finally repairing the roof and that is what is needed to do it. Either way, it still makes me nervous to walk into the building. I feel like its about to collapse. They painted parking spots using white spray paint on grassy areas (including spray-painted arrows directing traffic). We took a picture of it. I think they forgot to pave it over first... of they used the money for that on the mural in the caf. Were all a little confused about that. I think the next step is to create a parking lot on our large front lawn. Needless to say, our school is not looking like the old CBU we all know. It does not look good. Its very strange, to say the least. Well. There isnt any homework to do tonight. So Im enjoying my time before that begins. Our apartment is still in the works of being set up. Ill try to post some pictures of the finished product. For now... thats all to share. Arent you proud of me?! This has been the 3rd or 4th time Ive blogged in a short time! Hope youre enjoying!

Reflections

Well tonight is my last night of summer. Actually, its my last night home. I move back to Riverside tomorrow and start school on Wednesday. I guess, technically, that means Tuesday night is my last night of summer. But tonight feels like my last night.
Im leaving my home. Im leaving my family (animals included). Im leaving some friends. Im leaving my own room, my large bed, my own bathroom, I could go on... Im leaving the what I have known my whole life - the familiarity that I love. Of course, it isnt as difficult as other years.
Freshmen year I moved there completely blind; Not knowing what I would be getting myself into. Not knowing what would be around me, nor where my classes would even be. Sophomore year, I had a better idea of what would happen and I knew it would be better than the first. But it was still begrudgingly - I had 3 or 4 years ahead of me at Cal Baptist.
This year, Im a Junior. It has its positive aspect and its negative. And though I have noticed when I refer to a glass with water in it, I do say "that glass is half full," I really am not the most optimistic person you will ever meet. So even those positives, which I know are definitely good things, Im still reluctant to get excited about them. I know most of my roommates, and even though we arent the best of friends, I think we will be compatible and suit each other. I only have 2 years left - Im halfway through. Im dreading the crazy schedule Ive mapped out for myself. Im praying for the strength to not only pass my classes, but succeed, and retain all of the information that will be thrown at me. Im slightly concerned that Im losing so many of my closest friends this year, either after this first semester or at the end of the year. Im not going to lie or put on a happy face because I would much, much rather quit school and live happily ever after with my parents. Who says "happily ever after" has to involve your own castle? I come home rather often, I say its to maintain my sanity, but Im still moving. I live in Riverside and I visit my home. How weird is that.
But in the end, after I complete schooling and do what I need to do, I think I will be happy. I think Ill be thankful that I kept going. Even though enduring the tough stuff isnt easy (haha!) it makes me stronger and better equips me for the HARD stuff later. Im climbing an uphill battle. Not only is it uphill, but it has huge boulders and trees to go around. It even seems like someone is standing at the top throwing more obstacles down at me, too. But I do have help. I have supporters. I have encouragers. It helps. Knowing all this, Im still not excited. But I know its going to happen - happy face or sad.
And even saying all this, it still hasnt sunk in completely that Im leaving tomorrow. I still feel like I have another week or lifetime before I have to continue with my schooling. Ive worked almost every day this week. It made the week speed by. What a bummer. But the extra money will be beneficial. Anyways, I feel like this night is no different. Like Im crawling into bed, but Ill be doing the same thing tomorrow night. I force myself to do a little reflecting though, not so much I make myself upset, but enough. I realize most of my reflecting is "I dont want to go back." Hey, I mentioned Im not the most optimistic person.
But back to reflecting. I do reflect on the summer. Though I didnt go on any vacations, the summer spent hanging around the place I love the most - my home, was exactly what I needed. And as everyone around me knows, this summer was my most relaxing one. I dont think Ill have anymore, even mildly, similar to this ever again. My favorite aspect of the summer was having my dogs trample in my room every morning. Usually being woken up by their panting or shuffling feet, I never minded too much and would quickly fall back asleep. They spent hours hanging out with me. My worst feeling leaving is the guilt from saying goodbye to them. Them not understanding where Im going nor what is really going on. I guess thats call for a visit! =)
Well. This blog was a whole lotta nothing. Hope you enjoyed it! Its my last before leaving the wonderful comforts of my home. Then youll start reading about the intense homework I should be working on instead of blogging. Yay!

Doctors Orders

So lately, Ive been having trouble falling asleep. Actually, its been a problem for a long time now. Ive never been one to "hit the pillow and be out." Which is not always fun. Sometimes, people like that quiet time to reflect on the day and the events around them. I am not one of those people. I would much rather fall asleep. But my brain continues running, even though my legs are staying put. And it stresses me out. I try to think of nice things, but somehow I will hit a dead-end.
I tried the sheep-over-the-fence thing. As I was counting, I began wondering where these sheep kept coming from. And how could one by-pass my count, but still get on the other side of the fence. I tried making up names for every letter of the alphabet. But I would think of a name of a friend and start wondering how they were doing. Honestly, Im a hopeless case sometimes.
Thursday I visited my doctor about this problem. This summer it has gotten much worse. There has only been a handful of times where it takes me less than an hour and a half or two hours to fall asleep. Basically, she said I have insomnia. Which I actually thought only applied to people who couldnt sleep, period.... So I learned something new for the day. She gave me several recommendations: dont lie in bed and watch tv before falling asleep - sit in a chair (which is much more difficult than I had anticipated), dont drink any caffinated beverages, ie. soda, after noon (today is the first day that has been successful), try to do relaxing things before going to bed (no intense movies and such, which is normally fine for me to follow), exercise more often - but not right before bed (dang it! That was the only time I would exercise!), keep my room as dark as possible (if you know me, you know my room is as close to the room in The Holiday as youre gonna get, so Im set there), etc. etc.. You get the idea. She also said if Im lying in bed for 25 or 30 minutes and still havent fallen asleep, I should get up and do something - read a book, have some decaffinated tea, yada yada. Apparently studies have shown if you lie in bed for 30 minutes awake, it will take you longer to fall asleep. I informed her my body is well into sleep before my mind gets there so getting up will not be the easiest thing. She completely understood but encouraged me to do so anyways.
I have been trying to follow these orders. Some successful, some I still need to work on. Hey, Rome wasnt built in a day... Neither was Paris, America, or any other place. Not even a house can be built in a single day. But here I am. Its passed 10 oclock. Im tired. I have to get up early. I had a hard night at work, wanting to quit and never look back. I have to go to work early tomorrow morning. I want to go to bed. But here I am. Awake. Sitting up. Blogging. Following orders. Because I have been lying in bed for 30 minutes now and I forced myself to get up. Actually, I literally rolled off my bed. And right now, Im wishing I was still lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Who the heck did those studies?! If I get in bed and fall asleep within 10 minutes, Ill write a retraction, thanking those studiers, or as most folk call them - researchers. But right now, I think they made up their "findings." But who knows. All I know is Im looking at a computer screen and my eyes arent even beginning to shut or squint from the brightness. Goodness gracious.
Well. I guess I should try to fall asleep again. I need to sleep. I want to sleep. You probably wouldnt believe me if I told you sleeping is one of my very favorite things to do. You probably wouldnt believe me because you just read a whole thing about how difficult falling asleep is for me. But it is one of my favorite things. It makes me happy. Rested. Ive been dreaming a lot lately. I dont know what that means, but theyve all been pretty good, for the most part. Which also means, I would like to go to sleep to dream.
Here we go. I shall return to my humble abode. What the heck does that even mean? I just looked it up. I still dont know. But I think my beds calling. My body wants to answer.... We shall see if my head will be stubborn and turn away or also answer.
Pleasant dreams, dear readers. Hopefully, youre sleeping soundly at this point in time and not awake like me.

[Afternote: I did not fall asleep 10 minutes after hoping into bed. I lied awake for another 30 or so minutes, but refused to try the whole getting up thing again. Needless to say, writing a retraction to the post titled, "Doctors Orders," will not be on my to-do list.]

Respect the Badge!

First off, I must apologize to my small following. Im really not a good blogger. I feel like I dont always have a lot to talk about. Im not always the most exciting person to tell stories (or lack thereof, lately), nor am I interesting. I dont really provide a unique outlook on life, like my sister does. Im not a snake charmer, like my grandma. I dont meet interesting people while I clean their teeth, like my mom. But I have a feeling I might have more to report when I start back up with school. Though, those reports might be "Day One: I need to study 4 chapters, write a paper, prep for a test...WHY AM I BLOGGING?!" But lets hope not. Anyhow.
Lately, Ive been super into the TLC series "Police Women (of Memphis)." Stop me if youve heard of it. (Or just skip to the next paragraph.) They have different cities they follow, currently the city is Memphis. Its not my favorite city theyve done, but it is the most intense. The other cities show mainly drug busts, small misdemeanor crimes, etc.. On the series premier of Memphis, a man was found shot! Opening scene. I knew this would be good.
Dont worry. This isnt a report saying Im dropping out of school, and jumping into the academy. Through soul searching throughout the summer, I think Im good to go. I know what I want to do. Itll be a hard road, but go big or go home right? To end that short note, I will be returning to school in just a few short weeks... something Im not ready for, in my mind.
Anyhow, I just think it would be super cool to be a police woman. And to be quite honest, I think I would be kinda good at it. Ive been told Im tough... I know what youre thinking, Carly tough?? Shocker... But its true. Ive been told Im intimidating. I can handle the tough stuff. I like to be in charge, but I would like to have the authority to be the go-to person.
In several episodes, this cop is talking to people, who are disrespectful and just rude to her. She finally says, "Okay, I am the police! You respect me!" I think it would be kinda cool to be able to do that! I mean, in reality... who wouldnt?! Shoot.
I see a highway patrolman on the freeway and I instinctively slow down. Doesnt matter if Im already going the speed limit. I dont want to be pulled over! I pull up in front of, behind, or next to a police officer, I am sure not to look at my phone - even to check the time or whatever. The car gets respect without even demanding it. I would love to know what thats like, to drive down the street and turn to look at the car next to me and see someone driving, staring straight ahead, hands ten and two, going the speed limit... Id be like "Ya thats right! I got the badge! Im driving the car!" I mean, Id be saying it to myself - it might be bad if I took advantage of that position.
Then I think I could not go through all that training. I would definitely not be able to make it. Id end up being a mall cop (which is perfectly fine). Paul Blart - who takes his position like a police officer. But its what makes him the hero in the movie. Although, he had to be the hero. How tragic would it be if you have a movie called "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" and he ends up making matters worse and someone else saves the day? Then it would be called "The Other Guy." Haha! Thats a movie out right now... but with guys, plural.
..... And other random thoughts of Carly Danae. Well. Its 11:11. Make a wish! I worked today, yesterday, and am scheduled for tomorrow. I must turn in my license to blog for the night... Though after this randomness I should turn in my license to blog permanently. Who knows... Maybe some of you are enjoying this. Laughing your head off.
On another note, before I sign off. Honesty is the best policy. Even if youre honest about receiving too much money from the bank teller, so you have to give some back, it is the best. And I say that knowing in my heart, it was right. But being honest, in my head, we couldve had quite the shopping experience. All well. I suppose we can rest/sleep peacefully tonight, knowing we did the right thing.

Ode to My Mom

Im not actually going to write a poem... Im not quite that creative. But I know someone who is poem-creative! She is my mom.

I know this is a few days late, but July 10th was a very special day on my calendar. It was my moms birthday. I wont give away her age; I dont think she really cares a whole lot, but just to be on the safe side...

My mom is one of my most favorite people ever. Actually, I would venture to say she is my favorite, perhaps because it isnt a far venture. People know I love my mom, so its no surprise shes so high up on my list. Those of you reading this probably know my mom; but in the rare instance you came across my blog and dont know her, let me expand on the incredibly amazing person my mom is.

She loves animals. (That deserves to be on its own.)

We can laugh like Van and Cheyanne for long periods of time and not think the other is strange. Shes not only my mom, but my best friend. But she is first my mom, then my friend, which is exactly how I want it. We can laugh about how many times my real accidents have been thought to be false alarms - and then make jokes out of them. Shes never missed one of my birthdays, though there were many times I could not be with her on hers (I wont miss any more, Mom!).

Shes always ready to be called up to bat. (metaphorically speaking, of course) Shes always in my corner. Shes courageous. She refuses to be beaten; refuses to stay down. Shes respectable. And in addition, shes admirable. I respect my mom and admire her more than I could ever explain. Shes selfless, always putting her family before herself. She understands me, maybe because Im so much like her. She supports me and encourages me in everything I do.

Shes honest, and tells me how it is. Shes opinionated (Im able to appreciate this, truly admirable quality because Im the same way =)). When she finds something that is close to her heart, shes passionate. And shes dedicated to it. She still takes care of me when Im sick or injured (even offered to take me to the ER on this birthday!). Shes a mommy, not just a mom. Shes extraordinary. Shes intelligent and witty. Shes beautiful. Shes a woman of God.

Just to name a few things I love and adore about my mom. Hopefully, you understand why I love her so much. Not to mention its her BIRTHDAY! And people need to be celebrated on their birthdays!!!

I love you so much Mom!!! Thank you for always being in my corner and loving me and supporting me! Thank you for setting such an amazing example for me. Thank you for being my hero. I love you soooo much, my SuperMom!
Happy Birthday!!!!

The Chocolate Energizers

I would like to begin by saying this is not my story. This is not about me, I am not in it, nor did I even know these people when it occurred. But nevertheless, it is a story you would see in a movie and simply hilarious. It has to be shared. I havent written in a while either, so I thought I would give my readers, no matter what few they are, something to read. And probably get a good laugh out of. As I tell this story, you truly will think This is 100% from a movie, but I am honestly telling you that this is a true story that I was told straight from a stand-byer.
It occurred at work, probably a year or two ago (so before I began working there). My manager, Stephanie, told me this story. I will change the other name, though. Stephanie had come to a point where she said Im done and gave her two weeks notice. While she finished her time, an employee, Ray, from the hospital side took over her duties as manager so she could just do the job.
One morning, Stephanie and Ray came into the resort to begin their day. The day begins with walking the dogs and cleaning their rooms. They encountered a very distinct aroma walking in the door and knew they had a mess to clean up. Two chocolate labradors, Toby and Ginger (real names), had had quite the diarrhea accident some time during the night. Poor dogs. But they didnt act sick. They both were acting like your typical lab - energetic, excited, and friendly. Ray wanted to take them out for their walk, but was too impatient to wait for Stephanie to help. It might add to the picture if I told you Ray is not the manilest of men... If you understand. Also understand how strong these dogs are, combine that with their energy and you have a mixture that could be dangerous. You can barely handle one, let alone two. But Ray decided he could do it and unlatched the door to their room.
Before he could leash them or anything, both Toby and Ginger leaped up on him, knocking him to the ground. Of course, they arent vicious, so they began licking him and crawling all over him, excited and thankful to be out. The problem with this was that they were covered in diarrhea. So, instantaneously, Ray was covered in diarrhea too. At this point, Ray was trying to get his feet back under him and regain control of the dogs. Stephanie, watching the entire scene, told him to wait a second because she was right in the middle of something.
But still being impatient, he finally leashed the dogs, stood up, wound each leash around each hand, and headed toward the gravel yard. He was actually pulled to the yard, as a more accurate description. Once they reached outside, Toby and Ginger were so excited they could barely maintain the "walk" they had going. They lurched forward, preparing for a sprint. Ray had caught his foot on the mat walking outside and fell. That, combined with the leashes wound around his hands, along with the dogs running, means he was dragged several feet. Toby and Ginger, realizing Ray was on the ground, at their level, turned around and headed back to him... tongues hanging and tails wagging. More diarrhea and licking entered the scene. Poor Ray.
When he finally got up, he gave the phone to Stephanie and told her to take her job back. Obviously, she took it back, thankful someone understood how difficult and demanding her job was. This may seem very serious and unrealistic to you, but its very real and I will assure you it is okay to laugh. I still laugh about it!
When I heard this story, I could see how it would occur. I know Toby and Ginger. They are two of my favorite dogs that come into the resort, but they are younger labs, strong and energetic. To this day, Ray still jumps a little when he sees Toby and Ginger and wont go near them. They were just in recently, which reminded me of this story. I took them out for a walk and came across Ray. He tried to act cool saying hi to them, but ran inside his first chance. O man. I still laugh. Hope you enjoyed! And see the little hidden lessons within.

Labs = strength, energy
Diarrhea = extra caution
Winding a leash around your hand = bad idea

Wait for help!!

Quitters are not always Losers

I worked Friday morning. I almost quit. I almost quit on Monday, too, but that was for a different reason... probably a more valid reason, too. But I wont get into that because, for one thing, I dont think I should divulge those certain things. Anyways, Friday I came close to quitting. The reason? I almost went home with a dog. I know, this is not the first time this has happened. At least once a week I encounter an animal that either does not have a home or is not well cared for or I just love, and want to take home with me. But I cant. I cant take every homeless dog in. I cant kidnap every dog that I love or dont agree with the way they are cared for. So I consider quitting quite often. Consider whether it is the best option to remain working with all these animals.
I was bathing a dog before she went in for surgery. She was from the pound in El Cajon. She was adorable and so sweet. She was a dark tan with a black face (which is actually what I really really want right now after seeing some puppies like that and having a dream about having a dog that looked like that). She was a pit bull mix... I know, but I fell in love with her. And it was not just because she was sedated in preparation for her surgery. She was so sweet as she put her head on my arm while I dried her and looked up at me with her pleading, sad eyes while I bathed her. Mind you, I did not intend on this happening. I was told she was extremely extremely animal aggressive. But because she was so sedated, she didnt put forth any effort to attack. I felt this was potential to kick the aggression habit. I bathed her, dried her, and took an extra amount of time loving her. I didnt know if she was going to a family, or was just getting spayed and going back to ECAC. So I talked to her while I got her all clean. A girl I work with were walking back and forth by the tub. I said, "I really love this dog. I really want her." She just kinda laughed. I know shes had that desire before though.
I continued talking to my dog and told her about how this isnt uncommon, that I fall in love with a dog, but its usually because I know its a special one. Then I explained how much of an issue Im going to have being a vet... My issue isnt how am I going to treat ill animals. That will be difficult, especially when I lose them. But my problem will be how do I look at an animal begging me to take them home with me and say no?? I dont know how often Ill be able to. And this dog was animal aggressive. I have animals. There was no question she couldnt go home with me. My animals always take first priority. Always.
I finished up and decided I better take her back to the techs so they can finish prepping her for surgery. As I walked into the tech area with my stumbling girl, I looked at one of the techs and said, "I love this dog.... I really want her." She gave me a small grin and said, "Nooo.... Shes animal aggressive." I said, "I know! And I still want her!!" After I put her back in her cage, she told me she was going to a home after the surgery. Whew. I was so thankful someone was taking her.
The rest of the day, while I worked, I thought about various animals I wanted to adopt in my time of working. I figured out something about myself: I become attached to every animal I encounter. No dog is just another dog to me, its Gracie, or Harley, or Skya. Each dog is an individual. Each dog is special. Each animal develops a special place in my heart. I think thats also why my job is so hard and exhausting. I invest so much of myself in those animals. Each one has to get a greeting. Each one has to be given attention and feel special. They dont have their moms or dads to make them feel loved or comforted. Anyways. Im realizing all this about myself and my job. I think its good for me, but I dont know what this means. I dont know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I already know how it has destruct me... continuously bringing more animals home, to tear apart my house or whatever.
Word of the wise... if you love animals, dont go into a profession with animals. You have to love animals to be a vet, but you cant love animals. You have to be objective. You have to be able to think clearly without having your judgment clouded by playing favorites or feeling guilty an animal doesnt have a home.
And so I continue to contemplate quitting in various situations I face. And if I do decide to quit, obviously it means Im not cut out to be a vet... But that means theres another plan. It doesnt mean Im a loser, it means I have something else thats for me. Anyways. There is not really a point to this blog. Just thoughts. Confessions. Realizations. Curiosity. We shall see what unfolds from this new discovery....

However for now, my animals remain the sole holders of my heart. My animals will always have my heart.

Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like SUH-MER!

Ahhhhhh! (That was a deep sigh of relief, for those of you who arent sitting next to me - which is everyone whos reading this....) Summer has finally, finally arrived. I feel like life has been breathed into me, and not by someone through CPR. Ive been given summer, which has restored my sanity, my positivity (which is kinda rare, Im not generally the most positive person, to be completely and totally honest), and my gratitude for friends, family, and life. Just coming home, walking through the door, and receiving a huge lick as a welcome from my dog put a lasting smile on my heart that has yet to fade (it gets renewed every time I walk in the door). Though I have only been home for 2 weeks, I feel like Ive already been productive! I know, summer means you take a break from things and enjoy the time where you still have breaks before you embark on the working world until you die. But for me, I choose to get things done between the times of relaxing. And I still havent decided if its a wise choice to do so. Let me map it out for you.
- I found my dress for my best friends wedding... after a lot of searching. And Im super excited about it.
- I attended my sisters pinning ceremony (much like a graduation, except shes not done... sorry sister). In addition to this note, she was awarded the faculty award!! Of all the students... her professors like her the best. It means she not only gets good grades and works hard, not only is excellent during her clinical hours, but she also is responsible, dependable, encouraging, a true leader, diligent, caring, etc. etc.. Wow. Can you say that about your sister?? I didnt think so. (Well, Jordanna, you can.) =) Im so proud!!
- I went to my cousins wedding and got to see a side of the family I dont see often. It reminded me how blessed I am with my family and how much they love and support me. O and it was fun to watch my cousin walk down the aisle... actually... he waited at the end of the aisle... but still!
- We celebrated 10 years of bringing Steve into our family. No, I didnt take cupcakes to celebrate, but someone sent an Edible Arrangement and we made chocolate covered strawberries! (Drizzling chocolate is not easy... take my word... but the cause was completely worth it.) Arent they so cute??? This was taken at Disneyland for Steves birthday. I love this picture of them! (They also got all fancy and went to dinner... super cute!! Ill try to add a picture at the end.)
- I found a FAN-TAS-TIC sandwich shop. Ho-ly cow. It is fabulous.
- I became CPR certified!! I can now save a life if someone is in respiratory or cardiac arrest. At least, I can try to keep them alive until the real life savers like the paramedics get there.... Then the nurses take care of them... I think you know what nurse Ill trust my life with.
- We celebrated my favorite mom for mothers day. Not only is she my favorite, but shes the best. Its proven. Dont argue with me. Although, if you know my mom, you know shes pretty amazing. And I got to listen to an interesting sermon at church. Needless to say, I will never take a bug from my child when she show me. Sorry future kids... I still have issues with that bravery. (Sidenote: The picture on the right, of me and mom wearing teal and black at Jordannas pinning ceremony.... ya totally not planned. I walked out wearing that and Mom was wearing her outfit.... We are mother and daughter for sure.)
- I started back at work. Whew. And boy am I wiped out. Ive already been called in on a day off! But its good for me and Im glad Im there to help. And I feel truly wanted and needed, so I think its a good place for me to be.... especially after this year. And hello. I get to wear scrubs. Does life get any better than that? I didnt think so.
I think thats it.... but thats a lot! I felt like I havent blogged in a while. I didnt have a lot to say, so I decided to list current events. Sorry this isnt newscast style, but hopefully it was interesting while being educational of Carlys events. As a total sidenote that may be completely irrelevant and random, I have become slightly addicted to a show I found. Several days ago, this show had an all-day marathon. The most random and slightly disgusting show Ive ever stumbled upon, I quickly became fascinated and watched six 30 minute episodes until I had to leave. A new episode is airing tonight in a short bit. I know, youre biting you nails to the nubs... what is this show?? What could it be?? It is called Billy the Exterminator. I told you, random and weird. But call it what youd like, I am learning a lot. Cockroaches are the worst insect to invade your home - they carry LOTS of diseases and can live very easily... I wont give detail on how exactly...
And now I will try to leave you with the picture I promised of Steve and Mom all dressed up for their anniversary! Arent they cute?!? Arent you proud of me trying to use pictures!? Maybe its a little cluttered... but I bet its a little more interesting! ;) And now my show is starting. I must not be distracted... Ive been looking forward to this for several days now. Maybe Im strange, I dont know, but I dont care either. Until the next blog.... TTFN! Ta Ta For Now!

The Lifesaver... Not the Edible Ones

Well, I am two "business days" away from finishing my second year of college. More specifically, I have two finals until I am able to say "Im on summer!" The past few weeks have been absolutely crazy. The past year has been insane, really. Filled with hardships, excitement, new relationships, finding out who my true friends are, good memories, times I want to forget... the list goes on and on. And I feel each thing, each trial, each excitement, has brought me to where I am today. Do I wish things had gone differently? Yes. Do I regret some decisions I made this year? Maybe. But its over. Almost. Its been a challenge both socially and academically. I have thrown everything I have into my schoolwork, with little rewards sometimes. I have grown discouraged and questioned what Im doing with my life several times this semester. Ive never been so unclear with what Im doing and where Im going. Its frightening. And especially for little control-freak me, its terrifying. But I keep reminding myself that my life is not my own. My plan is not my own. As soon as I think I know where Im going, it all changes and heads in a different direction. Think God doesnt have a sense of humor? Meet me.... Ill prove He does.
Anyways. This week has just been draining. Like I said, the past few weeks have been exhausting, in all honesty. Im emotionally, physically, and mentally spent. Currently, I feel the best place for me to be is home. Home with my family, who I loves me and accepts me for what I am. I just have to get through these two finals for four months of bliss. Given, this summer will not be all pops and giggles, or whatever that saying is.... I have a lot to do. Some of it Im dreading, but some of it Im absolutely thrilled for. Two finals.... two finals.... a whole lot of packing and a whole lot of cleaning.... then HOME.
I had mentioned last week was hard, maybe more than once, I believe. I had so much to do, presentations, reports, homework, reading, studying, essays, finals... The list just never ends sometimes. I was so grateful for Friday afternoon. So grateful to be done that day... even though I feel like my last final of the day was dreadful, I was grateful it ended. Grateful for what my night held. Sure all of this may be important, but its not what this blog is about. My Friday night brings me to what this blog is about.
I know I mention people sometimes in my blog, but I never truly embellish on them. This blog is going to be different. This blog is going to be filled with pride. Filled with honor. Filled with love.
Last night, I took a trip to Azusa. I met my brother-in-law and sister there, with my mom not far behind. The night was to celebrate my sister and her achievement of being inducted into the Honor Society of Nursing. I knew this was important, but to be completely honest, I had no idea how important it was. I laughed hysterically at the phonetically spelled namecard for my sister, "JOR-DAN-uh." I dont know why I found this so funny, but I laughed for several minutes about it. After looking at the silent auction, getting dinner, and eating dinner, the night finally began. Several different women spoke. Scholarships and awards were handed out. The whole time this went about, I sat thinking My sister deserves an award. Shes unique. Shes special. Theyre privileged to have her in their program. She deserves recognition for her hardwork and loving nature for everyone she encounters. But I kept my mouth shut and continued listening to the names being called for awards.
My sister pointed to an older woman, aged around 80, and informed us shes very important in the world of nursing and even has an award named after her. Ooooo, we were very impressed. Actually, I barely understood what she was saying but I widened my eyes and nodded in acknowledgment. A few minutes later, they announced the award, sponsored by that lady. The Phyllis Ellinger award."The first recipient has a 3.82 GPA." Dang. This is nearly impossible to achieve in high school, let alone college, let alone nursing school! "She has wanted to be a nurse since she was a little girl, but got a little derailed on her track to nursing.." haha, thats Jordanna... "derailed on the nursing track"... "...when she was involved in a car accident as a child..." My mom and I both turned around, our eyes wide, to see my sister, hands folded in her lab, listening to the speaker, with a small, humble smile on her face. "The experience made her turn away from nursing, but she is back with a strong desire to possibly even return to the hospital she stayed in, to work as a nurse." She continued talking, my mom began tearing up, I couldnt smile any bigger, John was clearly proud, and my sister remained unaffected - "cool and collected" you could have called her. Her name was called and she walked up on stage to receive her award. I took pictures, which are kinda dark, so Ill have to lighten them... I dont know how... bleach? John took pictures too, so hopefully those turned out better. What a big deal though. This really was a big deal. She won the Phyllis award!
Then, she passed along the stage, being pinned and corded. Here she is post-pinning-and-cording. (Sorry its a little far away...)
I am so proud of my sister I cannot even explain. She is incredibly intelligent. She is kind and welcoming. She is accepting of all people, regardless their looks, beliefs, or personalities. She shows a love for creation that is purely rare. She is unique. She is beautiful. She is talented. She used to be afraid of the vaccuum when she was little, but I would never ever trade her for a sister who wasnt afraid of the vaccuum. Shes gifted.... in so many ways. Shes humble, never boastful, never prideful. She says she is blessed, but truly, she is a blessing to anyone who comes in contact with her.
A girl spoke about the importance nurses have, as Christians. How they have the ability to, not only, physically help the person, but spiritually. She told a story about how a girl asked her why she was the only nurse who truly loved her mom. It was because she was a Christian and because God loves her mom. I know my sister will have tons of stories like this. She already has a few. Its these qualities, these traits, that made her unique and valuable.
My sister will save lives. She will do it through her nursing knowledge. She will do it through her love for them, because they are Gods creation. She will save so many lives. With her actions. With her words. With her love. If this all seemed "sweet, but kindof unrealistic" you havent met my sister. Plain and simple. This is my sister. My sista from the same motha. My sista from the same Father. He is the One who has given her these abilities. And every day, she gives Him the glory for it. That is why she will save lives. That is why she will make a difference.
So I had a hard week. So I had a hard few weeks. It didnt matter. It was Jordannas night. It was a night to celebrate her achievements. I wanted to be there. I wouldnt have missed it for anything. Good job sister. Im proud of you! And youre almost DONE!!! =)

A Twilight Night

Last night my roommate, Monica, and I watched the Twilight movies. Theres two out right now. You see, we arent die-hard fans. We just cant seem to understand the concept of a love story involving a vampire. You cant either? Dont worry - its not the most usual story anyway. But several days ago, I said to Monica, "Monica, I feel, as girls, we have a duty to watch Twilight." I received the strangest look. I followed with, "That way we can know what all the hype is about... obviously, well make fun of it." So it was decided. Friday night, we were going to watch whatever Twilight movies were on dvd.
Our friend Lauren joined us for the Twilight Saga. We ordered pizza, made some snacks and got all settled to embark on whatever adventure we were headed for.
The covers of these movies was enough to entertain us for a good few hours. But we pushed them aside and began with the first movie. Wow. Theres definitely enough to make fun of. From Kristin Stewart, who could barely act to the lipstick Robert Pattinson wore the entire first movie. We laughed and made jokes the entire movie. The lines were corny, the "creepiness" was definitely creepy, and obviously the plot was completely unrealistic. Besides the existence of my vampire ex-boyfriend, its just completely wrong. However with about 20-30 minutes left of the first movie, I noticed we were all enticed by the movie, staring intently at the screen, and hadnt made a joke a good while. I commented on this and immediately we all started laughing. We figured it was because the whole movie was rather slow and finally, it picked up so we were finally entertained. I had to admit that the way Edward is protective of Bella is super cute. We all admitted it. Its kinda what made the movie. We finished the first movie and began the second.
We were told at Blockbuster that the second movie was much more entertaining and quicker than the first. That proved to be right, but we were already in support of Bellas relationship with Edward, the vampire. When he left in the beginning of the second and we were left with Jacob, the warewolf, we were a little disappointed. Jacob did leave us with plenty to make fun of though. I like Edward though, so I wasnt as much of a fan as the second one - even though it was a little faster.
After the movies were over, I found myself interested in what was going to come next. As in the next movie. I admitted I was a part of Team Edward. No, Im not a die-hard fan, but Im intrigued. Besides, I figured out that its not the plot girls fall in love with. Its Edward. Its the character Robert Pattinson plays. Its how hes protective of her and willing to do whatever to keep her safe. And shes not the easiest person to keep safe - with all the shennanigans she gets herself into. Now if a girl is Team Jacob - I dont get that. Robert Pattinson truly makes the movie. As I was talking with Monica and Lauren about the movies, we discussed who we liked better. Thats right - we found ourselves picking sides. I was explaining my choice of Edward and said, "He has so much self-control. Jacob just gets angry and turns into a warewolf. Edward can control himself. I mean, he even stopped sucking Bellas blood when that was what he really wanted!" I paused. We all looked at each other and started laughing. "Yes I realize what I just said and how strange this entire thing is." We all laughed harder. I never thought I would be interested in Twilight. Monica suspected this would happen for both of us, shes curious of the next movie too. I didnt expect to form an infatuation... though Im not addicted or infatuated, just intrigued. I thought we would laugh and laugh and be done with it. And truly, they were some of the most ridiculous movies Ive ever watched. But, like I said, its Robert Pattinsons character that makes the entire story worthwhile. So now, we have all these tween girls running around thinking Edward is a real guy out there, who will save them from other vampires and wolves. Ah delightful. Anyways. That was our night. Twilight. Filled with lipstick, solemn music, rehearsed de-shirtings, corny acting, and oh thats just the beginning!! Theres more to come! We have to find out what happens next!