New Experiences

WELL. Its about time I put something up on this thing right?! And because my life is working and Ava, you can guess what this post is about!

Last weekend, Jordanna and I embarked on a first time adventure. We declared Saturday a beach day. Not for the purpose of coloring our pale bodies. This trip was not even for us. It was for our beloved children. Emma and Baker had been to the beach once before. Emma loved it! Baker did great! And this time, we were incorporating Ava into the mix. This was her first beach excursion. So I was so excited for her! After a couple walks around Lake Murray with Em and Bakes, we all concluded the beach is a must after all three tried running into the lake multiple times.

So Jordanna and I piled into my car with our puppies and headed East until we hit the ocean. (Literally.) We found a pretty packed parking lot, but it didnt scare us. We just prayed Ava would come when she was called and Baker would be nice to all the curious dogs. We really werent concerned about Emma. Shes everybodys friend. We climbed out of the car and began the trek across the sand to the water. We found a slow-traffic area, where Ava and Baker wouldnt be overwhelmed by a bunch of other dogs and crossed our fingers as we unleashed them one by one, starting with Miss Emma.

Well Emma led the pack. And a pack they were. Baker and Ava became little buddies as Emma was a little in her own world, but stuck close to us. Poor Baker couldnt go out quite as far as the girl since his legs are shorter, but he didnt let that stop him! We lost a few balls in the current, but we came prepared and the girls were thankful for that. Jordanna and I were so excited that they were so happy and did so well. We decided it needed to become a regular event, since they loved it so much and it pooped them out for the day!

Upon leaving, we looked up a do-it-yourself dog wash in the area on Jordannas handy dandy iphone, so we would go home with clean, sleepy puppies. We lucked out and got them all washed in good timing! Minus the fact that I squirted hypo-allergenic shampoo up my nose. But we left with handfuls of bones for the pups! When we got back to my car, we were surprised to find it not starting, not even hearing the engine turn. I rolled down my windows so they pups wouldnt overheat as we assessed what the problem could be. I was in park. Nothing was left on for the battery to die... but it seemed like that was the problem. So Jordanna called AAA while I tried to look for addresses as to where we were exactly. As I turned around I noticed a AAA truck park right behind us. So I asked the guy if he was on duty and if he could help us. Turned out he was the one dispatched to the call and fixed us up in no time! Thank you Lord!! I needed a new battery. But hey. Its fixed.  The puppies were very patient waiting and walked with Jordanna so they werent stuck in the car. Well... Emma and Baker were very patient. Ava was a little perturbed but she was fine.

In all. It was a highly successful day! The dogs were happy and we were happy with our happy dogs. Who then slept most of the day cuz they were so sleepy from such an adventure! Were sure more beach trips wil occur soon!

                                        

Snapshot

May 8, 2012

Getting home with my new puppy and about to give her a bath.

She has gotten SO BIG! 

Life With Ava

Well, Ive had my little bundle of joy for a few months now. She has quickly become part of the family. She is so easy to love. Shes intelligent, respectful, playful, hilarious, sweet, and so much more! She is the gift that keeps on giving.

Obviously, Ive been a little MIA on here... hardly any posts the pasts few months. And I was doing really good at the beginning of the year! Sorry about that.... although truthfully I havent had any great stories to share with the world. And Im kinda one of those "new parents" everyone groans about because all they can talk about is their new child. But all my stories really are about Ava. So I decided I would try not to solely talk about her but that she is my baby, so if people get irritated with Ava stories then they just need to find a new friend.

So I thought I would share how my life has changed since Ava entered my world. Since she IS my stories nowadays... Not that Im complaining! I dont want to talk about anything else!

First off - I wake up a lot earlier. My day usually begins between 5 and 6am. I make her wait until 6, which she is getting better at each day. She stretches out across my body - I dont understand how it could be comfortable for her. She yawns with a little whine. She jumps off the bed, then back on. She sits next to me and stares at me. She grabs a random find and chews on it... Today it was a receipt. Really though - this is better than in the beginning. Shes the sweetest in the morning.

This means that Im typically tired throughout most of the day and turn in pretty early at night. And with that, Im asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow... which is pretty rare for me. (The 8 or 9 oclock bed times could be why she wakes up so early.... I guess the problem could be my own fault.)

We ALL have to be a lot more protective and careful with our food... Especially Mom. Ava has stolen a hamburger right out of her hand before! Shes also stolen a muffin, chips, and a few other things. She is a true Lab. Always hungry, will eat anything. I usually share my banana with her in the mornings. She is getting better, but not enough to put food close to the edge of the counter or leave food unattended to on the table.

(Here is a fun, hilarious video I caught of my girl in action!)

I drive differently with her - more methotically and with quieter music.

I dont have my nails painted nearly as often as I used to. I find that I have to jump on the opportunity to paint them when Avas sleeping... otherwise they wont last long with teeth scrapings and hair in them.

I spend more money at Petsmart than anywhere else, for anything else. I may go in needing food, but I never walk out without a new toy of some sort. Poor dog has toys coming out of her ears.

Im always rushing home from whatever I was out doing, just because I want to get to her. And of course, to Sam too. Hes still around and our big sweet boy. (Liking Ava more and more, but still not wanting to admit it, might I add.)

We have another dog that has assumed the position of guard dog, a position Casey took very seriously. So Ava has some big shoes to fill, but I think she knows and is doing a good job at filling them. Though I havent figured out the best way to get her to stop barking and growling at company, she is the first to alert us and keep the house safe.

There are so many other little things that are done differently now that we have a little one running around. But its funner with her. She provides endless entertainment. Shes growing up a little more each day, but she is definitely still a puppy! My little puppy!

Another White to the Black

When we had Casey, it was custom to see black and white. Sam with his thick black coat, and Casey right next to him with her yellow/blonde. They were yin and yang. Thhey were the cutest together. When you found Casey, Sammy was usually not far behind. He took cues from her. I think that was one reason it was so hard on him when we lost her. She was first. He came and learned from her.

Since weve brought Ava into our family, the biggest adjustment has been on the animals. Especially Sam. At first he was annoyed with her. Im sure wondering if she would ever leave. But each day, he wakes up to her. I think hes realizing she isnt leaving. Its taken time, but he tolerates her more and more. For the first time, he is the trainer. Ava follows him all over the yard. Shes his little white shadow. And hes starting to not only put up with her, but kinda like her. Though I dont think he wants to admit it. But truly, he looks for her when shes not right beside or behind him.

Seeing a black and white pair just puts such a smile on my face. Sammy has a little buddy again. Hes not alone. And Avas charm is finally winning him over. Its a precious, precious thing.

Introducing... AVA!

As you may or may not know, I graduated from college about 2 weeks ago!!!! Yup! Done with that aspect of life. And in that respect, I apologize for being so MIA on here. Though I like to post, the things to talk about seem unimportant compared to the massive amount of work I had to accomplish. But now I am free to post as I so desire! Until life really picks back up with work and such. In a sense, it already has become quite interesting.

My graduation gift from my parents was a PUPPY!!!!! For months - probably years - I have been talking about getting a puppy. I have been wanting a puppy and have vowed to get a puppy once I was done with college and could, once again, have an animal. And so, at lunch after graduation, I opened a very creative poem announcing my gift of a puppy from my parents! Apparently they had been searching and searching for the perfect puppy to add to our family but have not been successful. That is when I joined the search.

She has the prettiest green eyes! And loves to be outside, where they seem to shine the most!

Despite my searching (we are on a waiting list for a litter due late May, available July), I failed as well. Until last Tuesday night when my mom pulled up craigslist. Not 10 minutes prior, a post had been put up with 4 Lab mix puppies, 1 female, 3 male, almost 8 weeks old. Mom called to see if we could check them out. Within another 5 minutes, we were headed to see my possible new puppy.

As we drove, my mom because giving me a little pep talk/lecture. The topic: Dont allow cuteness to dictate my decision. I shouldnt take her just because she was super duper cute. I needed to be sure she would be a good fit and such. Of course I agreed. Nothing should be solely judged based on looks. So, with this little pep talk in mind, we found the house, rang the doorbell, and were taken around to where the puppies were kept (outside).

Upon opening the gate, 4 ADORABLE puppies came tearing across the yard to us! Immediately, we both sank down to meet them at their level. I found the little girl and held on to her, getting a feel if we were meant to be. Mom was lying down, allowing the little boys to climb all over her. She was falling in love with them too and even chose her favorite. I found myself reminding her not to base it solely on cuteness!

But the little female had my heart. She was a feisty little thing, standing her ground in a family full of boys. She had these bright green eyes that you couldnt miss. She was solid, big paws, thick legs, big floppy ears. I didnt want to let her go as she licked my face and gnawed on my fingers. My mom looked at me, waiting for the cue. Seeing as I refused to put her down, I just couldnt separate myself from her. I had to have her.

We drove away with an extra little addition sitting on my lap as we drove home. My little 3/4 lab, 1/8 husky, 1/8 boxer girl became mine immediately. We fell in love. Quickly became inseparable. Within the first night, she would look to me for approval or for safety. She cuddled with me in bed until she decided she wanted to sleep - then she wanted space. She only woke up once during the night and slept until 7! (That was the only time that has happened so far...)

Each day I learn something new about my little girl. She is so so much like my sweet Casey. She is very stubborn, but so easy to love. Shes playful and feisty. Shes absolutely ADORABLE! She loves her toys, but can often get distracted by things she shouldnt get into... but Ive chosen to choose my battles. Ultimately, chewing on the cat tree is better than chewing on the wall. She watches tv and barks at herself in the mirror. She has SUCH a personality and is quite a character!

It is an adjustment for everyone. Especially Sam, Simon, and Sofie. But theyre getting there. Ava has been very respectful to Sam, but is constantly intrigued by all the animals. She desperately wants a friend in Sam and is trying to win over his affection. At some point, all of them will love her as much as we do.

She is the perfect addition to our family. 

She is the perfect little buddy. 

I am so grateful for her and so in love with her.

The Things I Dont Talk About

Its funny how an hour ago, I was lying in bed, exhausted in so many ways and excited to finally shut my eyes and drift off to sleep. I was staring at a beautiful painting on my wall with a verse on it, "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." - Psalm 4:8

And I felt peace. And then there it was again... the nagging thing that has been bothering me for a while. Nagging things. Not really bothering me, but surrounding me and consuming me at times. And now, Im wide awake.

As Im nearing the end of my undergrad schooling, I am obviously forced to face all types of things. Some good. Some stressful. Some saddening. Some unexpected. Some scary. The list goes on and on. And I look back on my years here at Cal Baptist. These years have been not at all what I expected. But Im getting ahead of myself... All my thoughts are jumbling together. Organization is key.

These past 4 years have been hard. With struggle after struggle. I expected to make friends I would keep forever. And I have a handful of those, and for them I thank the Lord every day. I expected challenges, but more bright sides and lessons to learn from. But I have lost more relationships than I can count. I have opened myself to get hurt. I have trusted and been deceived. I have made myself available, but have been left feeling lonely.

I have played mom, nurse, friend, advisor, student, leader, sister, etc. etc. etc.. And I am so grateful for the opportunities to do so. I am truly humbled and blessed by every role I was placed to play. It equipped me for the future... which I have no idea what that may be.

I have allowed myself to believe the things people tell me without seeing the actions behind it. (This is the whole faith thing I talked about a few posts ago.) I am not someone who easily trusts, but I try to have faith. Faith that the Lord has a reason for the person, the situation, whatever it may be. And that encourages me to open my heart a little. And 9 times out of 10, I am reminded why I dont trust easily. 

I try to be dependable, trustworthy, faithful, encouraging, available, welcoming to the people around me. Given, I probably dont succeed. But I try my very best to be there when I am most needed. And as much as I love to be the person people confide in, I hate to be the person seeking after someone to listen to me. Call it a flaw, but I dont seek people out when Im in need. Ive never been in need but I have needed someone to confide in. 

I have never been in a place where I have felt more lonely. Given, it is not a consistent feeling... sometimes I feel very surrounded by love. But in the past 4 years, I have felt more alone than I have ever felt in my whole life. Maybe its my fault - for not seeking people out. 

I think just about every one of my closest friends here is either in a relationship, engaged, or married. Ever been the single friend? Welcome to my life. I dont want pity. Its not something I lose sleep over... haha as Im sitting here, unable to sleep at 1230am, talking about everyone being in a relationship... But really, Im ok. What makes my position harder, though, is being at a school that gives out a MRS degree along with your actual degree. Im not knocking anyone. Im happy for everyone who found their soulmate in college - given, my sister is one of them - but its often times a difficult place to be in.

Ive never been tested or pushed harder in school, in relationships, in new experiences... Ive been spent to my max. Many times. Luckily, I dont think too many people have seen me get to that point. I have felt like an absolute failure, where whatever I try, I cant seem to do well enough. (This is usually when I hit my max.)

And then I think of once Im out of this place in the next few weeks... what am I going to do?? Where will I be? And more thoughts cross my mind... (Actually, these arent nearly as stressful to me right now as you would assume. Im so ready to be done and home that I welcome these stresses with a kiss on both cheeks.)

I have no motivation to do anything. Its taking everything I have just to do my homework right now. My inspiration is drained. My desires are lacking. Im in for quite a wake up call....

What is even realistic for me?? What is possible for me?? School is so hard. My dream is to be a veterinarian, but I feel I might kill myself in the process with all the hard work. And whos to say how long itll take me to even get into school. Can my dream become a reality? Or is it something that will always be a great idea, but just not a great idea for me? 

What is in San Diego? What keeps me there? If my precious sister and brother in law move away, part of the reason why I love San Diego will disappear. Part of my heart will be gone. So is Oregon a place Im ready to consider? Jordanna and John are at such peace about that decision and I am so so grateful for that. I wish I had a little clarity in that area.

And then I think of all the blessings that surround me. Because I truly am blessed. And I dont want to get into a mind set of self pity or feeling sorry for myself. I am surrounded by so much I dont deserve. But reality caves in on me every time. And the reality is that Im graduating. Another friend told me shes engaged tonight. Reality just keeps coming. Keeps attacking.

What I realize most in this moment, is that in the past 4 years, at no point have I had anything figured out. At no point have I been in control. At no point have my plans worked out just as I wanted them to. Lesson? Uhh ya think?? Clearly I am not in control. And I can say this til Im blue in the face, and still try to hold a finger on everything in my life. In it all, God has taken care of me. I still dont understand why things have happened. Why certain storms have come my way. But Im still standing. I may be wavering... but Im standing, by the grace of God. And I guess that shall be what I cling to. What I depend on. That no matter what, the Lord will provide for me and protect me. 

Adventurous Fail

Tonight, I embarked on a daring adventure. It was one that has been a long time coming. Completely out of my comfort zone. Definitely something I would never attempt on my own. Something I am sure you will be shocked at. And, of course, in the midst of it all, I learned something about myself... as I usually do in such instances. But let me back up. Im getting ahead of myself and Im sure, close to losing my audience.

For about a year or more now, my friend has been trying to convince me and several of my other friends to go iceskating. Im sure youre already laughing. The story, my dear reader, has only just begun. Weve almost gone a few times, but it kept falling through. Well, this time he got me in the perfect spot where I had to say yes. And I had told him I would go with him at some point because he is so passionate about it and really wants people to experience it with him. So, tonight was the first night of our night class. Yes. This means I am halfway through my LAST semester as an undergraduate student!!! I have eight weeks of this night course, along with the rest of my classes before I get to march across the stage and receive my diploma!

But that all is beside the point right now. Last night my friend texted me asking if I wanted to go iceskating after our class tonight. There was a senior event where the first 150 seniors get to skate for free. I tried to get out of it, pointing out we would be late so we might not get in for free and that I wasnt a professional skater so I might not be the optimal choice. However my reasoning failed and his persistence prevailed. And tonight, as he walked into class, the first words out of his mouth were:

"Iceskating tonight!"

Its like those dreaded words. The sentence you know is going to be said but you dont want to hear it. Like, "its unrepairable." Or, from a different perspective, youre hoping whoever says the dreaded phrase will magically forget... even though you know they absolutely wont. So, yes. He remembered. And I was locked in. 

Mind you. I dont know how to ride a bike. I have never rollerbladed. Nor skated. I have gone iceskating once, but I dont remember how I did... Im assuming not well. And one of the people in my group fell and got her finger sliced open. That was my traumatizing experience of iceskating... I trip walking on an even path. I stumble over a rug daily. Coordination/balance are not my friends. I played a sport in the water for a reason. (Which became even more evident to me tonight.) 

But here we went. My opinion is that iceskating appears to be easy. When I watch other people skate so gracefully, I think shoot, I could do that. But luckily, I recognize it is not as easy as it looks. My friend said he wouldnt laugh at me, but I told him not to make that promise until were there. I also told him he had his work cut out with me if he really wanted me to go. Apparently, he was ready and willing to catch me if I fell and hold my hand to balance me. I could only pray hed follow through.

And so we arrive. Much to my disappointment, we got in for free, so we were strapped in to go. He showed me how to lace up my skates and gave me little pointers on what not to do as we headed to the ice... Consider this. If you havent been iceskating, this is how my friend comforted me as we walked into the place: "Its easy! Its like walking, but on knives." Um. How would walking on knives be easy??? In whos world does that make sense??

He stepped out onto the ice first and I followed. My first foot had barely landed on the ice and I immediately knew this was a terrible idea. I grabbed onto the side as my other foot joined my first foot. I knew my friend had skated before. He loves hockey. He loves skating. So, naturally, I expected him to do quite well. And he lived up to my expectations. I on the other hand, am not a natural. But I did live up to my expectations and probably far exceeded them in a failure type of way. I clung to the wall and inched my way along, also grabbing onto him. Not even halfway around, I fell. Watching his face as I went down was definitely one of the highlights of the night as I was holding on to him when it happened. Getting up though... well falling is the easy part. And it didnt even hurt. Standing back up takes some God-given talent. Talent that God felt I wouldnt need. I would agree with Him... except for this instance.

I finally made it around the rink once and decided it would be wise to take a break. My friend tried to encourage me to keep going. We agreed that if he would go do 3 laps on his own (without me holding him back) that I would do another one. So with a lot of persuading, he went out and did the smallest and fastest laps Ive ever seen, then came back to pick me up for the next set. So I set out again. This time I hung on to the wall more than him and made it without falling again. We started to go for a third, but then they turned around on us. That was even harder, trying to figure out how to go the other way. So I did about two and a half laps total. Then I called it cooked. 

My friend was so sweet as he really didnt want to leave me to skate. But I didnt want to skate and Im also one of those people where I know my limitations/strengths. And this was a huge limitation. Not something I could easily overcome. Definitely not in one night. But nonetheless, he let me hang onto him and each time he felt me lose my balance, he held on tighter. He encouraged me, telling me how great I was doing... as if I couldnt tell I was the only person on the wall... But I dont think I wouldve made it around once had it not been for him. I think he recognized what a struggle it was for me too, so I m sure he was trying to do everything possible to make it go more smoothly. 

In all, I walked out with a wet tush, a renewed appreciation for shoes and a sturdy ground, and a revelation about myself. Actually, a few of those. 

1. First things first. I cannot skate. The maneuvers are odd and not something my body is comfortable with. Iceskating, specifically, is one of those things where I dont know if Ill ever really get the hang of it... 

2. Id like to point out that Jesus walked on water. Ice is a form of water. There are certain things we arent supposed to do. Lets leave the walking on water - in all of its states - to Jesus.

3. I try to be a go-with-the-flow type of person. And I think generally, I do fairly well with making the best out of situations. But this was an eye opener. I am absolutely and completely 100% someone who has a comfort zone and doesnt deviate from it. I like to think there are certain things I would be willing to try... and Ill stick with that declaration. But then there are some things where I say "No way." And that is that. 

4. Im a little sad Im not more adventurous. I wish I was a little less fearful in that type of situation, but in the same instance, its not like Im going to be crossing frozen lakes on a daily basis in my life. So, Im ok with being defeated by the ice. But I pray that I have a more daring spirit with things Im not normally comfortable with.

5. You might have caught in 4 that I mentioned being fearful. That might have surprised you as that isnt a common word in my vocabulary. But I will be the first to admit. I was TERRIFIED! Dear goodness! I literally had memories of my life flash before my eyes. Im not someone who is scared often, but Im not afraid to proclaim that I was more than 'uneasy' with the experience.

6. I managed to laugh and smile. I managed to have a decent attitude. Sure I was pretty discouraged and not enjoying myself, but I feel like I couldve been a lot worse. I guess that could be a good thing. Even if Im absolutely terrible at something and no fun to the company Im with, I can at least provide laughter...

I think, in all, I realized I need to weigh out the pros and cons. The things that could go wrong or right. Ultimately, I couldve gotten hurt, sure. And knowing me - getting hurt would be breaking my femur or something ridiculous. But I think I wouldve been ok. And I say that now - safe and sound, sitting in my bed. In the moment - heeeeck no. Im gonna die. Thats the worst that could happen. At least thats what it feels like at the time. And its true. But thats when i decide if its worth the risk. Right now, I hold no regrets. Im alive, no scratches. Not even a dinged ego. I only feel bad I wasnt the amount of fun my friend wanted, but he said he had fun... 

I dont know if it was a positive experience or a negative one. It was a learning experience. And I think the main thing I realized is that Im not a fun, adventurous person. Sorry to my future husband, who Im sure will read all my blogs at some point in his life. (This is a good way to find out what hes getting into here...) 

If you are thinking of picking up iceskating soon, I hope you picked up some things. I hope you got a little incite. If theres one thing I can re-emphasize to you, it is: iceskating does not just happen like it does in the Mighty Ducks and in figureskating in the Olympics. Its hard. But from what Ive gathered from those around me, its worth it. I havent gotten to that point yet...

Choosing Faith over Answers

Today, I came across a random website due to the guidance of a trusted friend. I was unsure of what it was, but when I clicked on it, I was able to see her fascination with the site.

These little guys are called Lap Giraffes. I really dont know how they are so small, but I am incredibly intrigued with them. I think they are amazing little creatures. There are some animals that are on my list to have someday. A squirrel. A hippopotamus. A polar bear. Possibly a tiger. And now, the most recent addition - a Lap Giraffe.

Of course, not all of my animals are plausible animals to own, but nevertheless, I have dreams. Dont squash them for me. At one point on the website, there is a place to "join the waitlist" to receive one of these Lap Giraffes. I clicked on it, thinking I would receive more information about how to care for them and possibly them trying to get information about me - like my name, for example. But as soon as I clicked it, I was immediately congratulated on becoming the 1,522,784th person on the waiting list. All I could think was now how do they know where to send my lap giraffe???

I showed my roommate and my friend the website, complete with pictures of the cute little things and a live feed of one of them in Russia (where the ONLY breeding site of these lap giraffes exist). Both of them agreed it was adorable, but seconds later, dismissed the idea of such an animal existing, questioning how it could occur.

I quickly returned with asking how any of us existed... then realized how ridiculous of a comeback that was. Luckily, I hadnt said it out loud. But my animal defense mode kicked in. Im not referring to the animal defense mode, like fight or flight, live or die, survival instincts. Im talking about the animal defense mode that not every person has... I have enough for multiple people. It is the act of defending animals. Speaking on their behalf. The little giraffe couldnt explain how he came to be, so I felt a pressing need for me to come to his rescue. They suggested it was photoshopped - absolutely not real.

And in that instant, I realized something about myself. Something I think Ive always known, but it became better understood. Yes, in the instance of trying to argue the case for a Lap Giraffe, which is exactly what it sounds like. I realized I dont need to question everything. I dont need to know the answers to everything. And there is no way for me to know the answers to everything. They questioned how it could be created. In my opinion, God is the Creator. He should not be questioned. Maybe this little giraffe has seen the beginning of the world, but has been lost and has only recently been found. Nobody knows. But I dont need to question. I believe it. I choose to have faith in it.

It was such an interesting epiphany as I talked to my roommate and friend about it. I was a little sad that they just couldnt have faith that something like this was possible. And I agree we shouldnt instantly believe everything we hear or see. There should be some investigating. But in those moments before discovering the truth, I cling to the possibility that it is real. That it is possible. I choose to believe.

I think its part of me that will never completely disappear. The kid in me. Like, choosing to believe in Santa. I have a confession. I am 21 years old and I believe in Santa. I know he is not the one who puts presents under my Christmas tree, but I believe somewhere, there is a jolly man with rosy cheeks and white hair, who goes by the name of St. Nicholas. I think we all should cling to that innocence of childhood. That choice to believe. That notion that we dont need to know how. It might seem preposterous and you might think Im insane. But watch the hope fade in a childs eyes when they discover Mom and Dad have been putting presents under their tree each year and eating the cookies left out. See the disappointment in a babys face when they realize you dont go away when you play peek-a-boo behind your hands with them.

We have to grow up at some point. But I think we have to have some things that are kid-like in our midst. I think we have to have faith in things. After all, that is part of being a believer. Knowing the Lord is always near and always protecting and loving us, even if we cant see Him.

Maybe I take things a little too far or apply them in a way a person normally wouldnt. I started with a Lap Giraffe and I got into some pretty heavy stuff! Who knew it would go this way! Even though sometimes I should ask why or how or when, or maybe I shouldnt but I do anyways... I think there are so many things that its ok that we dont know the answer to. After all. There is no possible way for us to know everything about everything. Not. Possible. So in the meantime, we should just enjoy what we have and not ask how it came to be.

In case youre wondering, because I know you are. I looked up Lap Giraffes. Its an advertising campaign. I was grateful for my friend who introduced me to the website. She chose to believe the possibility too. =) But see? I do my investigating when need be. But just look at these little guys! You cant help but pray they are real!
                                                   http://www.petitelapgiraffe.com/

A Good Day

Today is going to be a good day. Im convincing myself. Im going home today for the weekend. My parents are taking a much deserved trip to Big Bear to test out their ski skills... well, Steve is seeing if hes still got it and Mom is attempting to become a pro like Steve. So, I am taking care of our sweet animals, Sammy, Simon, and Sofie. I need a nice homestay so I am stoked.

I just have to get through this ridiculous test. This ridiculous Genetics test. This ridiculous Genetics test that my professor wouldnt make a study guide for... and told us to study pretty much everything in the chapters weve covered. And offered extra credit to people to create study guides, and when she chose one to recommend to the class, that person would receive TWO points extra credit. But she forgot, got busy, I dont know and never recommended one for us... Then emailed us at 1115 last night apologizing for that. Im bitter. Yes. But all I can do is try with the material Ive been studying...

And today is club rush. I, along with some others, am representing the pre-vet club. It shall be a real riot. Then after all that... Ill come home at some point. Im just so excited.

But the main reason Im posting today is because I wanted to see who the chosen one was for todays daily puppy. And in honor of my sweet sweet Sam, they have chosen Bella Bear, the Newfie. Although shes brown, and Sammys black, he absolutely looked like her when he was a puppy, a big black ball of fur. He was the cutest little thing! Some people dont believe us when we say hes part Newfoundland... but he definitely looks like one in so many ways! He still has that sweet Newfie face. So this weekend, Sammy is my priority. To keep him happy and not wondering where Mom and Steve ran off to. I love time with Sam. And in honor of my weekend with him, Bella Bear (what an adorable name too!) is gracing her presence on my page.

Confessions from the Battlefield

Yes, I have homework. Yes, I need to study. But I had to share a confession with my small following. My aim is to write this in 10 minutes or less... something that seems to be impossible for me to do. But I aim to set a record for myself. After all, I have plenty to do...

As Ive mentioned in a previous post, I am enrolled in a kickboxing class. Given, spending $200 for this kickboxing class was not in my realm of things to do this semester, but Ive been like a fly to one of those light zappers with the Kinesiology chair, trying to convince him to start a kickboxing class. Well, now I had to take it... I mean, they might as well have named the class after me!

So were now in week 4 of classes. Which means, Ive had several kickboxing classes under my belt. I have a few kickboxing stories to share, but thats not really the purpose of this post... Like I said, I have a bit of a confession. Though, I think its something we can all confess to. But we choose to not... Let me explain.

My hands are thrashed. I mean, they are bruised and hurting and close to bleeding in one area. Why?? Well, my instructor wanted us to get a feel for the bag before we start using gloves to protect ourselves. That, and our equipment has yet to arrive. (It should be in on Thursday, giving us the opportunity to begin sparing with each other! Im actually a little nervous for that...) Anyways, my hands are pretty bruised from punching the bag. It really looks like Ive gotten in a fight. Given, I dont want to be labeled as "the girl who obviously fights.... I mean, look at her hands!" But in the same instance, its kinda cool.

Which brings me to my confession... I like bruises. Well. I dont like getting them. And I dont like them when they are causing me pain and discomfort. But I like the appearance a bruise has. The story it hides. Theyre called battle wounds for a reason! Ive had so many bruises in my life. Believe me, I shouldve documented them. And no they werent attractive, but I earned those puppies! In waterpolo, I got the worst best bruises. Again, it wasnt fun actually getting them, but when the bruise appears, you cant help but smile to yourself.

Lets face it. We all hope to get a mark when we hurt ourselves. Sometimes, the story may be a little too embarrassing to tell, so in those cases we hope theres no evidence, or we make up a story. But in those instances where you really hurt yourself and you cry, "Ouch! That smarts!" Youre following that up with, "That better be a bruise tomorrow!" Its human nature! Then when that huge bruise appears on your arm, youre secretly wishing people will notice so you can tell your story. Because whatever the story is, however big the mark may be, you are still standing! YOU have WON! You fought a hard battle and now you have something to show for it back on the homefront. If you are thinking "Yes. Yes. Totally." And possibly admiring your own battle wound youve recently received, you are not alone, my friend. There are others like you! I am one of them! Show off that black and blue!

Ive had plenty of bruises I dont care to tell the story for... Like when I slid off the bed and had a bruise literally from my knee to my hip. Not a classy move on my part, but the bruise was memorable. Or when I got elbowed in the face in practice at waterpolo and immediately a goose egg developed on my forehead along with some nice bruising the next few days. Not pretty, but I emerged from the battlefield. Or how in my sisters wedding photos, you can easily see bruises on my chest and arm... obviously I was in the middle of season. Not really something that adds beauty on such a historic event.

And now, I have bruised hands. 

From punching a bag. 

In my kickboxing class.

I think Ill take that story... I just gotta deal with the pain a little. But we all love a good story to share. If there are props... it only makes it better!

And because everyone loves a good picture...
Here are my fresh wounds...
Kinda hard to see, but
Not even black and blue yet.

Eyes for the Blind... Colorblind....

Today, as I was sitting in Genetics, a humerous situation arose. Well, it was funny to a classroom full of Biology college students... in reality, it was slightly sad. It began with the exciting material of studying genetics. We are currently looking at how DNA replicates. Did I lose your attention already?? Bear with me - Im not actually going to go through the process of replication... I dont really know how much I, myself, am certified to explain. Yes, as shocking as it may seem, I am not professor material.

My professor is this Asian woman, who has her Ph.D. from Harvard in something really boring and hard. You can tell shes incredibly smart. Im grateful, though, that she does her best to produce the information in the most juvenile terms possible so my inadequate mind does not get entirely lost in the learning process. She uses animations for us to picture what shes talking about. For that, especially, Im thankful. Today, she was showing us an animation of DNA replication, complete with primers, helicase, polymerase III, etc.. Everything was color coded, in bright yellows, greens, blues, reds... She was so excited at one point when all the yellows (I think they were primers) turned to red (DNA). "Did everyone see that?? Ok, the yellows are going to turn to reds. Notice in which direction this happens... from 3' to 5' or from 5' to 3'." And she replayed it.

After the yellows turned to reds, she questioned if we saw it again. Two guys sitting in the front whispered back and forth slightly. And you know how professors always get irritated when people talk in their class, so they try to catch you and make you share your conversation with the class so you consider that next time you want to talk to your neighbor... So, she looked at them and made a face asking what was so important.

"Well... Brandons colorblind." Immediately, we all felt for the guy, but also started laughing, as Brandon, himself, helplessly laughed as his friend outed him to the class. Not that he really had a choice...

Obviously, Brandon had no idea what color was yellow and what color was red. Therefore, he couldnt tell where the change occurred. I vaguely remembered having class with these two guys last year and it came out in there that he was colorblind... I dont remember how, but I think Ive heard this information before. It didnt make it any less tragic.

My professor was a little stumped at what to do for him. "Oh... that makes things a little difficult for you when studying genetics then doesnt it?? Well! You can still see yellow and red though right!" And moved on. Obviously, there was a slight disconnect there at what Jim was trying to say about Brandon being colorblind. Brandon laughed and faintly said, "Uhh... no I cant see that."

This whole situation got me thinking. And Im not saying being colorblind is the worst thing that could ever happen to an individual... because I am very aware that it is not the most horrible "disability" a person can experience. But nevertheless, its sad. I started thinking of all the things that he has to miss out on.

He cant see the colors of flowers, so he will never be able to appreciate the spectacle of the rose parade. He cant see the beauty of a sunset. He cant marvel in the sight of a rainbow after a rain. He cant distinguish between the ocean and the sky. He cant see the artwork that God paints in the sky. He cant decipher between a day in spring and a day in fall. He cant see the brightness of a city lit up in the night. He has to watch tv in black and white! His Easter eggs all look gray! Etc. Etc.

Obviously, it isnt like I ran up to him and said all of these things... that would be like eating an ice cream cone in front of a child. But all these thoughts ran through my head. I developed a whole new appreciation for my sight... which is capable of being perfected with some heavy duty contacts. (Though, yes, I am close to being blind... which just occurred to me...) I smiled to myself as I observed a gorgeous stream of wildflowers on the way back to my apartment. I dont understand why colorblindness became a thing... I mean, I dont understand why that is a gene that is carried by some. That is just mean. Being blind is terrible, but its all or nothing. Being colorblind is like going halfway on that. I think its just mean.

Then I remembered another funny story that happened one year at summer camp for church. We were in a night session and the speaker asked, "When was the last time you took a risk?" We were given the opportunity to discuss this with those around us. After a few moments, he recollected us and asked if anyone would be willing to share. Someone from my church raised his hand.

"The last risk I took was today, while I was driving up here. I went through a stoplight and couldnt remember which light was red and which one was green..." The speaker looked puzzled. "Im colorblind."

Out of My League...

Well its official. My LAST semester of my undergraduate career has started and is well under its way. As of yesterday, I was approved for academic overload and was able to sign up for my last class needed to graduate in May. I am now signed up for 20 units - 7 classes and 1 internship. Yes, I suppose you could say, I plan to skate right through this semester. Since I cant skate, that would entail running into things, falling repeatedly, and a lot of struggle. This semester will be tough and extremely busy. I barely know how I have time to blog... but Im going to try to make it a priority as it does provide a bit of a release. Anyways, I could not be more excited to get it over with and continue on to the next thing in life - whatever that may be.

My schedule consists of a lot of general education requirements, major requirements, and a graduate school requirement. Genetics, Emergencies in Sports Medicine, History, Kickboxing (Im sure Ill have updates about that one soon enough!), Intro to Christianity (thats a story in itself), an internship, and Art and the Bible. Now lets stop at Art and the Bible. Actually, we have to because thats all I got.

Now, I would say I am a fairly creative person. Both parents I received my genes in that department from were generous to share their own creativity with me. However, I am not an artsy person, by no means. I will be the first to admit, I cant look at a painting and fully appreciate it. Museums and art galleries bore me. Plain and simple. Im sorry if that offends you... it just isnt my cup of tea. I took this class because it wasnt at 8am in the morning, it fit with my schedule, and Kaihla was signed up for it. I tried to take interesting classes and/or classes with my friends. For my last semester, I would like to kinda enjoy myself while Im trapped in a classroom for 50-90 minutes.

So, the first day of school, Kaihla and I embarked to our Art and the Bible class. First class of the day. First class of the semester. Though its a 400 level class, I still wasnt expecting it to be too difficult. I mean... art and the Bible. I feel like it isnt the most difficult thing Ive ever had on my schedule. No, that award would go to Organic Chemistry. Anyways. We walk in and choose our seats. On the board are two words, "coherence" and "praxis." As well as "art" and "Bible" with a line separating them in chart format. I looked at Kaihla questioning what "praxis" was. Neither of us knew.

Within a few minutes, our professor began talking, introducing the class. "Obviously you all are visual arts majors... maybe a Christian Studies major or liberal arts, but thats probably where the diversity ends..." Kaihla and I looked at each other. We were feeling very confident in that moment. He continued to talk as we both were praying "oh dear Lord, please dont let this be how it seems it will be..."

Then he began our first class activity. "I say art, you say - ?" He paused and stared at us, expecting us to have an answer. Silence. Personally, I didnt realize he had asked a question. Luckily, I dont think I was the only one. He tried rephrasing the question... "I say art, and you say - ?" Oh goodness. That "and" really cleared up the mystery! I guess when something makes sense in your own head, its difficult to figure out how to make it understandable in another persons mind... "When I say art, you say - ?... The first thing that pops into your head when I say art." Oh. That wasnt too difficult.

Now, my dear readers, when I say art, what do you think of? If you thought of "picture," "color," "painting," etc. you are in my boat. I was thinking I was doing good with those words... I quickly discovered my boat was a sinking ship and needed to up my game. Let me explain. My professor then went around the whole room asking people their thoughts on the now-apparent question.

These were some of the answers:

"Expression." 

"Individualism." 

"Emotion." 

"Exploration." 

"Transcendent." 

"Ambiguous." 

If you thought of a word similar to this, you are part of the elite club I will never have access to. Bravo to you! I sat questioning, What the heck does ambiguous mean?? I tried to give an appealing and intellectual answer when he pointed to me: "inspiring." Of course, my answer was the first that he gave that iffy face to and replied, "eehhh could be, sometimes..." Seriously?? Try as I may...

Finally he talked about the other words on the board. "In case you dont know, "praxis" is Latin for practice." Why the heck dont you just say that then?? How would we all know Latin?? I mean! Were not Latin majors - were Visual Arts majors. Well a majority of the class. Kaihla and I are Kinesiology majors, which is even more distant from Latin.

I kinda like my professor. He seems fine - so far. Hes just extremely boring. And uses words I dont understand. And asks questions I dont understand. Weve had three classes so far. Each class is similar to the last. This is a class where people dont really talk out loud. It is so different from the classes Im used to. I would help the guy out and raise my hand to add to the conversation he has with himself and tries to get us all into, but since I dont necessarily know what hes asking, I dont really know how to add to it. Hopefully though, the intellectual level becomes more simplified for those of us who are not attending an ivy-league school for a reason. Otherwise, the times I do raise my hand will end in a blatant fail on my part...

If You Notice...

If you notice, I have a "Daily Puppy" application on the sidebar of my blog. I periodically come on my blog just to see the cute puppies that are chosen to dress up my page. Quite often, Golden Retrievers are chosen. I love love love Golden Retrievers. Especially puppies. Who doesnt like puppies?? Although, Labs are my favorite. My sweet Casey was a little terror, but had the sweetest heart and made me fall in love with Labs. Anyways. I would like to point out, that today, January 15th, in honor of Steves birthday, the chosen puppy is a Golden Retriever named Carly.

Isnt she adorable??