Another White to the Black

When we had Casey, it was custom to see black and white. Sam with his thick black coat, and Casey right next to him with her yellow/blonde. They were yin and yang. Thhey were the cutest together. When you found Casey, Sammy was usually not far behind. He took cues from her. I think that was one reason it was so hard on him when we lost her. She was first. He came and learned from her.

Since weve brought Ava into our family, the biggest adjustment has been on the animals. Especially Sam. At first he was annoyed with her. Im sure wondering if she would ever leave. But each day, he wakes up to her. I think hes realizing she isnt leaving. Its taken time, but he tolerates her more and more. For the first time, he is the trainer. Ava follows him all over the yard. Shes his little white shadow. And hes starting to not only put up with her, but kinda like her. Though I dont think he wants to admit it. But truly, he looks for her when shes not right beside or behind him.

Seeing a black and white pair just puts such a smile on my face. Sammy has a little buddy again. Hes not alone. And Avas charm is finally winning him over. Its a precious, precious thing.

Casey May

Ive been avoiding and waiting to write this blog for a while now, but at the same time Ive been wanting to write it. Avoiding because I know its going to be difficult; waiting because I need to become a little stronger before sharing about it; wanting because it is important to me and deserves a memory... or rather, she.

On April 23, we made a very difficult decision, as a family. We said goodbye to my sweet Casey May.
Casey was my yellow lab. Was was 13 years old, though according to a chart at the vet, she was about 102. She was my baby. I chose her out of a litter of many. She was my little buddy, my play mate, my partner in crime. She chased me around the house, took naps on my bed, hung out with me... She was the sweetest dog and the happiest. Everyone who met Casey instantly fell in love with her.

She underwent several surgeries, including two torn cruciates (in human terms - ACL... although I dont know if it was her anterior or posterior or what but now you understand the pain that is involved in that type of injury). Shes had arthritis since she was two years old, and it only spread and became more painful as she got older. Shes had numerous strange injuries that werent always the easiest to figure out (yes, she most certainly was mine). But despite all the pain she suffered through in her life, she never lost her smile. She never complained. She always made sure she was with you - even if it was difficult to get up and move to be with you.

She was so intelligent. Like smarter than us sometimes. She knew not to go swimming if she wanted to come in the house. She knew how to bring a bowl in the kitchen when she was done with it. She knew how to look pitiful, to get what she wanted. She knew how to find any - any - pill we tried to give her... and she knew how to work up a pill that was at the back of her throat. Yes, she was a brat. But her stubborness made her one of the girls in this family...

She was, in some aspects, the core of the family. If you found Casey, you found everyone else cuz she would be in the middle. Shes more than half my age so Ive known her for more than half my life. Shes brought us so many laughs, so much love, so much protection. She was also Sammys best friend. He always followed Caseys lead. She barked - he barked. She ate - he ate. She went outside - he went outside. This has been hard on him, but hes hanging in there. One of the sweetest, yet saddest things is that he has taken on some of her characteristics. I love him for it.

Apparently, Im not as strong as I thought I would be writing this. She was my baby... an amazing dog. I miss her so much. I miss her bark, and how excited she would get when we praised her for it. I miss how her whole body would shake when she would wag her tail. I miss her greeting me everytime I walked in the door. I even miss how she would get up and move away from me when I would love on her - because she liked to be with people, but needed her space at the same time. She was my best buddy. She got me through a lot - I could always count on her to provide a smile. Losing an animal is one of the hardest things to experience, but I wouldnt give up the time I spent with Casey for anything.

"Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened."

This is the Stuff

Ive had a desire to blog for the past few days, but havent had any reason to (ie. I havent had any inspiration, no funny stories, no preponderances, (preponderances??? who am I???), etc..). So, I come to my blog to write something, my fingers hovering over the keys, waiting for some initiation from my brain... nothing. I wait. My fingers remain ready to type, ready to catch anything my mind thinks of.... nothing. Significant fail. So I decided I would post anyways, and force my fingers to type... even if my brain isnt on board with the documenting.

Luckily, you dont have to hear random babblings because finally, something came to me. Earlier this week, my good friends dog was attacked by another dog while out for a walk. Apparently, the attacking dog came tearing out of a house, through a door carelessly left open, and began attacking my friends dear dog. Little Cotton is so sweet that she didnt even defend herself, but she took it. Before you get sad, she is doing good. She had stitches and tubes to drain any fluid buildup on the top of her head, but she is doing really well. I met her for the first time last night and she is just one of the sweetest dogs Ive ever met - and I have met a LOT of dogs... Much like my dogs, she is a people dog, desiring to be pet and loved on.

It kinda hit me recently how inspiring this little girl is. My sweet girl inspires me, too, but thankfully my dogs have never been in a situation where they have been attacked like this. I thought of how often we get attacked, out of nowhere, by the unexpected. Throughout life, we encounter storms - some storms pass, some are harder than others, and some people live in a storm... basically, permanently. Sometimes, you can see the storms coming from a mile away and you have time to prepare for them. Sometimes, you barely have seconds before they attack you from all angles, with no way of escaping. Whats important is how you deal with it and how you recover from it. As Christians, we are blessed to know we have a mighty Savior to surrender to. Surrender our problems, our struggles, our storms. Speaking for myself, being a control-freak, this is probably the most difficult aspect of being a Christian. I want to fix everything myself and typically have an extremely difficult time surrendering everything. Though I will say that rarely do I roll over and take it, which in some cases may be the best thing to do. Anyways. Back to my point.

This blog wasnt necessarily aimed to be about me. It was aimed to be a generalization about how life not only knocks you down, but it attacks you, and how were expected to get back up, dust ourselves off, and keep trekking on. Little Cotton experienced one of the worst forms of attack - a physical attack. But she acts perfectly fine. If it werent for her little tubes and stitches, you wouldnt know she had been so maliciously attacked. Shes inspiring - her happy smile and innocent attitude, refusing to stay down.

(Though this blog wasnt supposed to be about me - heres the 'me' part...) I came home for the weekend, after a long week. Nothing particularly bad happened, it was just long and filled with tests and studying and dumb schoolwork. I needed a bit of a break, so naturally, I headed home. However, upon entering my room, I noticed I had mail on my bed. Not abnormal, but its contents werent of the typical ads and such. This contained a ticket, which I had received a few weeks ago... I know - tragic. Well, this ticket turned out to be way more than I had expected. I became discouraged. Thinking about having to pay the ticket, needing to work to pay off the ticket, as well as, needing money throughout the summer and next year. I need to take classes this summer. I need to get in more observation hours for grad school. Instantly, my mind was taken over with discouraging, frustrating, and stressful thoughts.

Then I thought of little Cotton and her smile, despite tubes, stitches, swelling, pain meds... I couldnt help but shake my head at myself. Trust in the Lord, I told myself. Earlier this week, my friend introduced me to a new song. It is so applicable to my life. And especially with the fact that I just got a ticket.... The song is by Francesca Battistelli, called "This is the Stuff."

"I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

How awesome is that? It proved to be a friendly reminder as I listened to it, just last night. Ultimately, kinda random post... I know. But Ive finally blogged! And - to me - it was worthwhile to mention it all. Hopefully you got a little something out of it, even if it was knowing that you arent alone in your storms.