Morning Glory

I love mornings.

I love waking early to witness a beautiful sunrise, feeling grateful for a new day, a fresh start...

I love listening to the birds chirping outside my window, singing a chipper morning song...

I love the sun creeping in through the windows, announcing its arrival for a new day...

I love smelling hot coffee, which lures me out of bed to taste its yummy goodness...

I love hearing crackling bacon, beckoning me to investigate a delicious breakfast cooking...

I love taking a hot shower to feel refreshed, prepared for whatever the day holds...

I love choosing my outfit, allowing it to set my mood for the rest of the day...

I love knowing everyone on the road is going to a similar destination - work (and they probably arent super happy about it either)...

I love offering an upbeat "Good Morning!" to everyone I come in contact to - you can only do that until 11 or 12, you know...

At least thats what I keep reciting to myself

as I wake up each morning lately.

The truth is... and this may be a complete shocker to you - if you dont know me -

I hate mornings.

I have even discussed this in a previous blog before. I hate waking up. I hate hearing the birds chirping. I hate that the sun has found ways into my room. I hate physically getting up. I hate leaving my warm, cozy bed to be exposed to the cold, harsh air. I hate getting dressed - the pressure to choose an outfit becomes overwhelming sometimes. (It is not uncommon for me to express my frustrations with Adam and Eve for eating that fruit... because of that act, we are forced to wear clothes each day. But thats another conversation.)

Lately I have been working mornings. Let me reiterate, in case you slept through the beginning of this post... I hate mornings. But its not just that I dont like them, it is also that I am not made for operating in the morning. I was not created to function properly in the mornings. I cant help it. Ive heard it is possible to trick your brain into (or out of) something and it can become normal... Therefore, I have tried to have a positive attitude about mornings, convincing myself of the good aspects of mornings... but this positivity is short lived. Being positive about something I am so negative about is just not an easy task. I found it would take even more energy to have a good attitude... and I needed to save my energy for actually getting up and getting ready.

Anyways. I get to work and for some reason, God has put me in a place where every person is a "Good Morning!" type of person. So people are smiling and chipper all around me and I just want to growl and do my job... until about 10 oclock when I can start to think clear enough to have an understandable conversation. But the past few days, the early mornings have drained me for the entire day. Even by noon, I still cant think clearly, Im stumbling over my words, I feel like Im moving in slow motion, and doing what needs to be done seems unreasonably difficult. Just as an example of what I am talking about - A woman called asking what vaccines we require for an animal to stay with us. "Bordetella, Rabies, and Distemper Parvo" I tell her. Short jibber jabber and were done. Not 5 minutes later, I hear my manager on the phone "the feline vaccine and Rabies." Apparently I told the woman dog vaccines when she had a cat. There were many more of these types of situations. Luckily my manager laughed pretty hard and wasnt irritated with my blatant mistake. Ive been wearing 2 different socks - repeatedly cuz I dont feel like taking the extra time to find matching ones. These are how my days have been going. And I barely make it home, where I sit down and never want to get up again. These mornings are killing me!!!!

I know I should be grateful because I am incredibly blessed. And I am grateful. Mornings truly are a blessing. I am blessed I was given another day. I am blessed I dont have to wake up earlier than I do. I am blessed to have a cup of coffee to help wake me up, (which I have discovered really does make a difference). I am blessed to have hot water for a shower... if I decide to wake up even earlier to take one. I am blessed to have a job to go to where I can make money and get hours. I try not to take it all for granted, but I know I do.

I cant promise that I will have a better attitude and constantly be positive about the mornings... I cant promise that because I know it wont last. But for now, I will remind myself of the beauty of mornings in the small things - that really arent that small at all. Like a sunrise. The radiance and bliss of a glorious sunrise is the perfect reminder of the magnificent day the Lord has created.

"...they are like the new grass of the morning: In the morning it springs up new, but by evening it is dry and withered." - Psalm 90:5-6

Cancelled Class and a Sweatshirt

Two blogs in a week! How lucky are you?!

Well its only Wednesday, and yet I feel as if it should be Friday. The last weeks of school always seem to be the longest. I feel as if this semester has flown by, which is never a bad thing. But now time has to make up for itself, so everything has to slow down. The past 3 days have been bru-tal-ly long. Ridiculous is really what it is. And on top of that - school is coming to an end, so my brain is on summer mode. My mind is thinking about the things I need to do over summer and things I need to do to prepare for the summer. What needs to be completed now is just painful to do. I am having the most difficult time making it a priority. And in the midst of that is just dealing with daily life... which is never a dance in a prairie field for me. Ill spare you all those details, though.

Like I said, its only Wednesday - luckily Wednesday is almost over. Monday is my longest day and it proved to hold up its promise. Tuesday was just as long, filled with errands and homework in the middle of classes. Tuesday I woke up in a funk. I had to finish a paper that was due that day and had been really struggling with where I was going with it. Ya, Im a Kines major, I dont write papers. I finished it, but it was pretty tough. Took a shower and began to get ready for my day. It was one of those days where you just dont feel like getting ready and everything. You just want to crawl back in bed and not face the world. One of those you dont feel like anything looks right and nothing is making you feel better, so you would just rather not. And, of course, the sun was shining brightly and the air was warm, ruining my longing for a sweatshirt. I finally decided on clothes, ignored the possibility of makeup and making my hair controlled, and was ready to head out the door with my roommate around 10:45.

The whole walk to class, I complained about having to go and how I would have missed class today if it werent for my roommate. She didnt make me go, but I enjoy having the class with her, so I would rather go and have fun. I just was not feelin class. I wasnt feelin my outfit. I wasnt feelin the day, at all. We arrived at the room and found our seats. Strangely enough, our professor was nowhere to be found - which is abnormal. I ran out to talk to another professor, whos office is in the building. My conversation with him was to be about various opportunities for veterinary hours. I was trying to schedule a visit to a ranch of a woman who works at the school and has a lot of other veterinary connections she wants to share with us. Halfway through talking to him, I felt the need to check on my class. I opened the door to an empty classroom and my roommate waiting for me, notifying me class had been cancelled. Apparently, all of us smart collegiates had missed the sign on the door saying class was cancelled. Praise. The. Lord. I finished my conversation with my professor, then headed back to the apartment.

As I walked, I started laughing. I had been complaining, wanting class to be cancelled.... and long behold, God answered my prayers. I got back to my apartment. Since we had time, Cayla and I went out on the front lawn to soak in some Vitamin D. Then we ate. Then I went to class. Then I met with another friend to talk to the woman about a ranch visit. This conversation went AWESOME. Literally better than I could have ever wanted. We now have a plan to go to her ranch next Friday for a BBQ... and theres a possibility well go horseback riding!!!!!! Which is something Ive wanted to do for yeaaarrrsss. So stoked. And again, I found myself walking away, thanking the Lord for this amazing opportunity He has provided.

I texted a professor to let him know he should be excited to hear about the conversation we had! The rest of the day kinda went. Nothing to report. Just lab and such. Then this morning, I again, had a difficult time of waking up. When I finally convinced myself I needed to, I took off my mask to reveal a very dark room. I smiled in my head - physically smiling would have taken too much effort that early in the morning. I went to the bathroom and came out to see the weather. The sky was blanketed in a light grey color. My heart skipped a beat. I would be able to throw on a sweatshirt... my desire from yesterday.... the desire that had carried to today. I walked back to my room, threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and was ready for the day. Again, I found myself thanking the Lord for providing me with a day to wear a sweatshirt.

I embarked on my walk to class, sat through a boring lecture, then went to talk to the professor I had texted about the veterinary opportunities. He nearly jumped out of his chair, he was so excited to hear what we had to tell him. We ended up having an hour conversation with him. I gave him a hard time about not texting me back.... which he didnt realize he had even received a text... (that seemed insignificant.... but wait for it....) We went to our next class and, again, sat through a boring lecture. Halfway through the class I received a text.... from my professor, telling me I "owned this biochem lecture." Understand why hes my favorite professor?

Then I went to lunch with a good friend... Chipotle, nonetheless. Then had a random conversation with a guy in our class. The days have been a little random, but there have been interesting things in the midst of it all.

I found myself laughing the past few days, especially with my class being cancelled and todays weather. Im not saying I am the reason for those things to happen... but Id like to think so. Just kidding. But really, I was cracking up because I was complaining and just so over it all and here God comes with his great sense of humor. Kinda telling me stop your complaining, Ive got it. Telling me hes in control and that he will take care of me. Giving me reasons to praise Him, not that I should have to have specific reasons. But reminding me Hes GOT this. And I should just be trusting in Him with it all. This seems to be the consistent thing Hes been teaching me lately....

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun." - Psalm 37:4-6

Or if your dawn is a cloudy day.... like mine. =D

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”" - Psalm 91:1-2

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:4-6