Faithful Promises

Today is October 23. Which means its day October 23 of Jesus Calling. Now. I'm not going to pretend I read every day of Jesus Calling. But every now and then I'm curious to see what the Lord is telling me. Truly, every time I open that little book I discover - yet another - reason why I love it. I don't open it enough. And I don't know why I don't go to that over other, for lack of a better term, non-inspiring resources. But that is not my focus today.

If you read Jesus Calling religiously, you know what today was about. If you don't, I will tell you. Or rather, I will type up what the day says.

"As you turn your attention to Me, feel the Light of My Presence shining upon you, Open your mind and heart to receive My heavenly smile of approval. Let My gold-tinged Love wash over you and soak into the depths of your being. As you are increasingly filled with My Being, you experience joyous union with Me: I in you, and you in Me. Your Joy-in-Me and My Joy-in-you become intertwined and inseparable. I suffuse your soul with Joy in My Presence; at My right hand there are pleasures forevermore."

Then it gives two verses to further dive into the meaning of the words and help you create an even more impacting and joyous image. John 17:20-23 and Psalm 16:11.

I wish so bad I was this person who, after reading this, just smiles and sits back, closes her eyes, and feels the joy of being in the Presence of the Lord. Sits in silence and peace, with a heart that just pours over with joy. But, I'm not. I never have been. Despite how hard I try. I think that is what my sister and my grandma do. And I am so jealous of them for that. They provide so much incite about what they are reading in the Word and they want to dive even more into it and share about it. Awesome right? My mom is insightful about what she reads, too, but I think she understands where I'm coming from (which is still not evident yet - I'm sure).

So as I sat back, I imagined the Lord sitting next to me, staring at me. Like a child who made his mom a mothers day card and was eagerly awaiting her response to viewing it. And I managed a smile, because it is a wonderful feeling and scene to picture - being one with my Creator. But I still didn't feel that overwhelming joy almost everyone on earth experiences... Or at least, those are the people who talk about their quiet times with the Lord. Always describing it as "rejuvenating, enlightening, fulfilling, joyous, captivating,..." you get the picture.

This is a big reason of why I don't openly discuss my quiet time. Who wants to hear that they read the Bible and it just wasn't quite what they needed or they are still not content? So I began to ponder a different way to approach my readings. And though my thought process started to drift from October 23 of Jesus Calling, it still relates. I also read Psalm 91 - which is still slightly in line with Jesus Calling. Promises to those who dwell in the shelter of the Lord.

And I began to realize something. The Bible is filled with promises. Nearly every time I open it and read, I find a promise. Not just any promise - God's Promises. My family taking promising very seriously. You can't go back on a promise. And you can never - NEVER - lie if you promise. But with all these promises in the Bible comes something that isn't guaranteed or offered anywhere else in the world. With God's promises comes fulfillment. He follows through on what He promises. Even when we can't feel it, even when we don't see it, He follows through.

So as I read through Psalm 91 as the Lord is promising that if we dwell with Him and use Him as our place of Refuge and safety, He will protect us. He will be with us in trouble times. He will send His angels to guard us. These are promises that we can trust and have faith in. Jesus Calling doesn't say "As you are immediately filled with My Being, you experience joyous union with Me." It says "As you are increasingly filled with My Being, you experience joyous union with Me." Just because I didn't feel joy instantly doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It means I need to seek Him more - increasingly being filled by Him. Then I will experience joy. 

I choose to feel reassurance and peace. Many feel such joy when talking with the Lord, I'm tired of not feeling it. And I do feel reassured and comforted knowing one thing is always constant. People constantly let us down. They break promises, they fail. We are human. We are not perfect. But only One makes promise after promise and will hold true to all of them. Maybe we don't see it or feel it today or tomorrow, but we know we can trust in Him. 

I don't know where I'm headed in life. I don't know if I will ever feel pure joy in my life. But I can feel comforted knowing that I have someone who promises me things and will always hold up His end of the bargain. 

It's my turn to hold up mine.

This is the Stuff

Ive had a desire to blog for the past few days, but havent had any reason to (ie. I havent had any inspiration, no funny stories, no preponderances, (preponderances??? who am I???), etc..). So, I come to my blog to write something, my fingers hovering over the keys, waiting for some initiation from my brain... nothing. I wait. My fingers remain ready to type, ready to catch anything my mind thinks of.... nothing. Significant fail. So I decided I would post anyways, and force my fingers to type... even if my brain isnt on board with the documenting.

Luckily, you dont have to hear random babblings because finally, something came to me. Earlier this week, my good friends dog was attacked by another dog while out for a walk. Apparently, the attacking dog came tearing out of a house, through a door carelessly left open, and began attacking my friends dear dog. Little Cotton is so sweet that she didnt even defend herself, but she took it. Before you get sad, she is doing good. She had stitches and tubes to drain any fluid buildup on the top of her head, but she is doing really well. I met her for the first time last night and she is just one of the sweetest dogs Ive ever met - and I have met a LOT of dogs... Much like my dogs, she is a people dog, desiring to be pet and loved on.

It kinda hit me recently how inspiring this little girl is. My sweet girl inspires me, too, but thankfully my dogs have never been in a situation where they have been attacked like this. I thought of how often we get attacked, out of nowhere, by the unexpected. Throughout life, we encounter storms - some storms pass, some are harder than others, and some people live in a storm... basically, permanently. Sometimes, you can see the storms coming from a mile away and you have time to prepare for them. Sometimes, you barely have seconds before they attack you from all angles, with no way of escaping. Whats important is how you deal with it and how you recover from it. As Christians, we are blessed to know we have a mighty Savior to surrender to. Surrender our problems, our struggles, our storms. Speaking for myself, being a control-freak, this is probably the most difficult aspect of being a Christian. I want to fix everything myself and typically have an extremely difficult time surrendering everything. Though I will say that rarely do I roll over and take it, which in some cases may be the best thing to do. Anyways. Back to my point.

This blog wasnt necessarily aimed to be about me. It was aimed to be a generalization about how life not only knocks you down, but it attacks you, and how were expected to get back up, dust ourselves off, and keep trekking on. Little Cotton experienced one of the worst forms of attack - a physical attack. But she acts perfectly fine. If it werent for her little tubes and stitches, you wouldnt know she had been so maliciously attacked. Shes inspiring - her happy smile and innocent attitude, refusing to stay down.

(Though this blog wasnt supposed to be about me - heres the 'me' part...) I came home for the weekend, after a long week. Nothing particularly bad happened, it was just long and filled with tests and studying and dumb schoolwork. I needed a bit of a break, so naturally, I headed home. However, upon entering my room, I noticed I had mail on my bed. Not abnormal, but its contents werent of the typical ads and such. This contained a ticket, which I had received a few weeks ago... I know - tragic. Well, this ticket turned out to be way more than I had expected. I became discouraged. Thinking about having to pay the ticket, needing to work to pay off the ticket, as well as, needing money throughout the summer and next year. I need to take classes this summer. I need to get in more observation hours for grad school. Instantly, my mind was taken over with discouraging, frustrating, and stressful thoughts.

Then I thought of little Cotton and her smile, despite tubes, stitches, swelling, pain meds... I couldnt help but shake my head at myself. Trust in the Lord, I told myself. Earlier this week, my friend introduced me to a new song. It is so applicable to my life. And especially with the fact that I just got a ticket.... The song is by Francesca Battistelli, called "This is the Stuff."

"I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

How awesome is that? It proved to be a friendly reminder as I listened to it, just last night. Ultimately, kinda random post... I know. But Ive finally blogged! And - to me - it was worthwhile to mention it all. Hopefully you got a little something out of it, even if it was knowing that you arent alone in your storms.