Ode to My Mom

Im not actually going to write a poem... Im not quite that creative. But I know someone who is poem-creative! She is my mom.

I know this is a few days late, but July 10th was a very special day on my calendar. It was my moms birthday. I wont give away her age; I dont think she really cares a whole lot, but just to be on the safe side...

My mom is one of my most favorite people ever. Actually, I would venture to say she is my favorite, perhaps because it isnt a far venture. People know I love my mom, so its no surprise shes so high up on my list. Those of you reading this probably know my mom; but in the rare instance you came across my blog and dont know her, let me expand on the incredibly amazing person my mom is.

She loves animals. (That deserves to be on its own.)

We can laugh like Van and Cheyanne for long periods of time and not think the other is strange. Shes not only my mom, but my best friend. But she is first my mom, then my friend, which is exactly how I want it. We can laugh about how many times my real accidents have been thought to be false alarms - and then make jokes out of them. Shes never missed one of my birthdays, though there were many times I could not be with her on hers (I wont miss any more, Mom!).

Shes always ready to be called up to bat. (metaphorically speaking, of course) Shes always in my corner. Shes courageous. She refuses to be beaten; refuses to stay down. Shes respectable. And in addition, shes admirable. I respect my mom and admire her more than I could ever explain. Shes selfless, always putting her family before herself. She understands me, maybe because Im so much like her. She supports me and encourages me in everything I do.

Shes honest, and tells me how it is. Shes opinionated (Im able to appreciate this, truly admirable quality because Im the same way =)). When she finds something that is close to her heart, shes passionate. And shes dedicated to it. She still takes care of me when Im sick or injured (even offered to take me to the ER on this birthday!). Shes a mommy, not just a mom. Shes extraordinary. Shes intelligent and witty. Shes beautiful. Shes a woman of God.

Just to name a few things I love and adore about my mom. Hopefully, you understand why I love her so much. Not to mention its her BIRTHDAY! And people need to be celebrated on their birthdays!!!

I love you so much Mom!!! Thank you for always being in my corner and loving me and supporting me! Thank you for setting such an amazing example for me. Thank you for being my hero. I love you soooo much, my SuperMom!
Happy Birthday!!!!

The Chocolate Energizers

I would like to begin by saying this is not my story. This is not about me, I am not in it, nor did I even know these people when it occurred. But nevertheless, it is a story you would see in a movie and simply hilarious. It has to be shared. I havent written in a while either, so I thought I would give my readers, no matter what few they are, something to read. And probably get a good laugh out of. As I tell this story, you truly will think This is 100% from a movie, but I am honestly telling you that this is a true story that I was told straight from a stand-byer.
It occurred at work, probably a year or two ago (so before I began working there). My manager, Stephanie, told me this story. I will change the other name, though. Stephanie had come to a point where she said Im done and gave her two weeks notice. While she finished her time, an employee, Ray, from the hospital side took over her duties as manager so she could just do the job.
One morning, Stephanie and Ray came into the resort to begin their day. The day begins with walking the dogs and cleaning their rooms. They encountered a very distinct aroma walking in the door and knew they had a mess to clean up. Two chocolate labradors, Toby and Ginger (real names), had had quite the diarrhea accident some time during the night. Poor dogs. But they didnt act sick. They both were acting like your typical lab - energetic, excited, and friendly. Ray wanted to take them out for their walk, but was too impatient to wait for Stephanie to help. It might add to the picture if I told you Ray is not the manilest of men... If you understand. Also understand how strong these dogs are, combine that with their energy and you have a mixture that could be dangerous. You can barely handle one, let alone two. But Ray decided he could do it and unlatched the door to their room.
Before he could leash them or anything, both Toby and Ginger leaped up on him, knocking him to the ground. Of course, they arent vicious, so they began licking him and crawling all over him, excited and thankful to be out. The problem with this was that they were covered in diarrhea. So, instantaneously, Ray was covered in diarrhea too. At this point, Ray was trying to get his feet back under him and regain control of the dogs. Stephanie, watching the entire scene, told him to wait a second because she was right in the middle of something.
But still being impatient, he finally leashed the dogs, stood up, wound each leash around each hand, and headed toward the gravel yard. He was actually pulled to the yard, as a more accurate description. Once they reached outside, Toby and Ginger were so excited they could barely maintain the "walk" they had going. They lurched forward, preparing for a sprint. Ray had caught his foot on the mat walking outside and fell. That, combined with the leashes wound around his hands, along with the dogs running, means he was dragged several feet. Toby and Ginger, realizing Ray was on the ground, at their level, turned around and headed back to him... tongues hanging and tails wagging. More diarrhea and licking entered the scene. Poor Ray.
When he finally got up, he gave the phone to Stephanie and told her to take her job back. Obviously, she took it back, thankful someone understood how difficult and demanding her job was. This may seem very serious and unrealistic to you, but its very real and I will assure you it is okay to laugh. I still laugh about it!
When I heard this story, I could see how it would occur. I know Toby and Ginger. They are two of my favorite dogs that come into the resort, but they are younger labs, strong and energetic. To this day, Ray still jumps a little when he sees Toby and Ginger and wont go near them. They were just in recently, which reminded me of this story. I took them out for a walk and came across Ray. He tried to act cool saying hi to them, but ran inside his first chance. O man. I still laugh. Hope you enjoyed! And see the little hidden lessons within.

Labs = strength, energy
Diarrhea = extra caution
Winding a leash around your hand = bad idea

Wait for help!!

Quitters are not always Losers

I worked Friday morning. I almost quit. I almost quit on Monday, too, but that was for a different reason... probably a more valid reason, too. But I wont get into that because, for one thing, I dont think I should divulge those certain things. Anyways, Friday I came close to quitting. The reason? I almost went home with a dog. I know, this is not the first time this has happened. At least once a week I encounter an animal that either does not have a home or is not well cared for or I just love, and want to take home with me. But I cant. I cant take every homeless dog in. I cant kidnap every dog that I love or dont agree with the way they are cared for. So I consider quitting quite often. Consider whether it is the best option to remain working with all these animals.
I was bathing a dog before she went in for surgery. She was from the pound in El Cajon. She was adorable and so sweet. She was a dark tan with a black face (which is actually what I really really want right now after seeing some puppies like that and having a dream about having a dog that looked like that). She was a pit bull mix... I know, but I fell in love with her. And it was not just because she was sedated in preparation for her surgery. She was so sweet as she put her head on my arm while I dried her and looked up at me with her pleading, sad eyes while I bathed her. Mind you, I did not intend on this happening. I was told she was extremely extremely animal aggressive. But because she was so sedated, she didnt put forth any effort to attack. I felt this was potential to kick the aggression habit. I bathed her, dried her, and took an extra amount of time loving her. I didnt know if she was going to a family, or was just getting spayed and going back to ECAC. So I talked to her while I got her all clean. A girl I work with were walking back and forth by the tub. I said, "I really love this dog. I really want her." She just kinda laughed. I know shes had that desire before though.
I continued talking to my dog and told her about how this isnt uncommon, that I fall in love with a dog, but its usually because I know its a special one. Then I explained how much of an issue Im going to have being a vet... My issue isnt how am I going to treat ill animals. That will be difficult, especially when I lose them. But my problem will be how do I look at an animal begging me to take them home with me and say no?? I dont know how often Ill be able to. And this dog was animal aggressive. I have animals. There was no question she couldnt go home with me. My animals always take first priority. Always.
I finished up and decided I better take her back to the techs so they can finish prepping her for surgery. As I walked into the tech area with my stumbling girl, I looked at one of the techs and said, "I love this dog.... I really want her." She gave me a small grin and said, "Nooo.... Shes animal aggressive." I said, "I know! And I still want her!!" After I put her back in her cage, she told me she was going to a home after the surgery. Whew. I was so thankful someone was taking her.
The rest of the day, while I worked, I thought about various animals I wanted to adopt in my time of working. I figured out something about myself: I become attached to every animal I encounter. No dog is just another dog to me, its Gracie, or Harley, or Skya. Each dog is an individual. Each dog is special. Each animal develops a special place in my heart. I think thats also why my job is so hard and exhausting. I invest so much of myself in those animals. Each one has to get a greeting. Each one has to be given attention and feel special. They dont have their moms or dads to make them feel loved or comforted. Anyways. Im realizing all this about myself and my job. I think its good for me, but I dont know what this means. I dont know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I already know how it has destruct me... continuously bringing more animals home, to tear apart my house or whatever.
Word of the wise... if you love animals, dont go into a profession with animals. You have to love animals to be a vet, but you cant love animals. You have to be objective. You have to be able to think clearly without having your judgment clouded by playing favorites or feeling guilty an animal doesnt have a home.
And so I continue to contemplate quitting in various situations I face. And if I do decide to quit, obviously it means Im not cut out to be a vet... But that means theres another plan. It doesnt mean Im a loser, it means I have something else thats for me. Anyways. There is not really a point to this blog. Just thoughts. Confessions. Realizations. Curiosity. We shall see what unfolds from this new discovery....

However for now, my animals remain the sole holders of my heart. My animals will always have my heart.

Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like SUH-MER!

Ahhhhhh! (That was a deep sigh of relief, for those of you who arent sitting next to me - which is everyone whos reading this....) Summer has finally, finally arrived. I feel like life has been breathed into me, and not by someone through CPR. Ive been given summer, which has restored my sanity, my positivity (which is kinda rare, Im not generally the most positive person, to be completely and totally honest), and my gratitude for friends, family, and life. Just coming home, walking through the door, and receiving a huge lick as a welcome from my dog put a lasting smile on my heart that has yet to fade (it gets renewed every time I walk in the door). Though I have only been home for 2 weeks, I feel like Ive already been productive! I know, summer means you take a break from things and enjoy the time where you still have breaks before you embark on the working world until you die. But for me, I choose to get things done between the times of relaxing. And I still havent decided if its a wise choice to do so. Let me map it out for you.
- I found my dress for my best friends wedding... after a lot of searching. And Im super excited about it.
- I attended my sisters pinning ceremony (much like a graduation, except shes not done... sorry sister). In addition to this note, she was awarded the faculty award!! Of all the students... her professors like her the best. It means she not only gets good grades and works hard, not only is excellent during her clinical hours, but she also is responsible, dependable, encouraging, a true leader, diligent, caring, etc. etc.. Wow. Can you say that about your sister?? I didnt think so. (Well, Jordanna, you can.) =) Im so proud!!
- I went to my cousins wedding and got to see a side of the family I dont see often. It reminded me how blessed I am with my family and how much they love and support me. O and it was fun to watch my cousin walk down the aisle... actually... he waited at the end of the aisle... but still!
- We celebrated 10 years of bringing Steve into our family. No, I didnt take cupcakes to celebrate, but someone sent an Edible Arrangement and we made chocolate covered strawberries! (Drizzling chocolate is not easy... take my word... but the cause was completely worth it.) Arent they so cute??? This was taken at Disneyland for Steves birthday. I love this picture of them! (They also got all fancy and went to dinner... super cute!! Ill try to add a picture at the end.)
- I found a FAN-TAS-TIC sandwich shop. Ho-ly cow. It is fabulous.
- I became CPR certified!! I can now save a life if someone is in respiratory or cardiac arrest. At least, I can try to keep them alive until the real life savers like the paramedics get there.... Then the nurses take care of them... I think you know what nurse Ill trust my life with.
- We celebrated my favorite mom for mothers day. Not only is she my favorite, but shes the best. Its proven. Dont argue with me. Although, if you know my mom, you know shes pretty amazing. And I got to listen to an interesting sermon at church. Needless to say, I will never take a bug from my child when she show me. Sorry future kids... I still have issues with that bravery. (Sidenote: The picture on the right, of me and mom wearing teal and black at Jordannas pinning ceremony.... ya totally not planned. I walked out wearing that and Mom was wearing her outfit.... We are mother and daughter for sure.)
- I started back at work. Whew. And boy am I wiped out. Ive already been called in on a day off! But its good for me and Im glad Im there to help. And I feel truly wanted and needed, so I think its a good place for me to be.... especially after this year. And hello. I get to wear scrubs. Does life get any better than that? I didnt think so.
I think thats it.... but thats a lot! I felt like I havent blogged in a while. I didnt have a lot to say, so I decided to list current events. Sorry this isnt newscast style, but hopefully it was interesting while being educational of Carlys events. As a total sidenote that may be completely irrelevant and random, I have become slightly addicted to a show I found. Several days ago, this show had an all-day marathon. The most random and slightly disgusting show Ive ever stumbled upon, I quickly became fascinated and watched six 30 minute episodes until I had to leave. A new episode is airing tonight in a short bit. I know, youre biting you nails to the nubs... what is this show?? What could it be?? It is called Billy the Exterminator. I told you, random and weird. But call it what youd like, I am learning a lot. Cockroaches are the worst insect to invade your home - they carry LOTS of diseases and can live very easily... I wont give detail on how exactly...
And now I will try to leave you with the picture I promised of Steve and Mom all dressed up for their anniversary! Arent they cute?!? Arent you proud of me trying to use pictures!? Maybe its a little cluttered... but I bet its a little more interesting! ;) And now my show is starting. I must not be distracted... Ive been looking forward to this for several days now. Maybe Im strange, I dont know, but I dont care either. Until the next blog.... TTFN! Ta Ta For Now!

The Lifesaver... Not the Edible Ones

Well, I am two "business days" away from finishing my second year of college. More specifically, I have two finals until I am able to say "Im on summer!" The past few weeks have been absolutely crazy. The past year has been insane, really. Filled with hardships, excitement, new relationships, finding out who my true friends are, good memories, times I want to forget... the list goes on and on. And I feel each thing, each trial, each excitement, has brought me to where I am today. Do I wish things had gone differently? Yes. Do I regret some decisions I made this year? Maybe. But its over. Almost. Its been a challenge both socially and academically. I have thrown everything I have into my schoolwork, with little rewards sometimes. I have grown discouraged and questioned what Im doing with my life several times this semester. Ive never been so unclear with what Im doing and where Im going. Its frightening. And especially for little control-freak me, its terrifying. But I keep reminding myself that my life is not my own. My plan is not my own. As soon as I think I know where Im going, it all changes and heads in a different direction. Think God doesnt have a sense of humor? Meet me.... Ill prove He does.
Anyways. This week has just been draining. Like I said, the past few weeks have been exhausting, in all honesty. Im emotionally, physically, and mentally spent. Currently, I feel the best place for me to be is home. Home with my family, who I loves me and accepts me for what I am. I just have to get through these two finals for four months of bliss. Given, this summer will not be all pops and giggles, or whatever that saying is.... I have a lot to do. Some of it Im dreading, but some of it Im absolutely thrilled for. Two finals.... two finals.... a whole lot of packing and a whole lot of cleaning.... then HOME.
I had mentioned last week was hard, maybe more than once, I believe. I had so much to do, presentations, reports, homework, reading, studying, essays, finals... The list just never ends sometimes. I was so grateful for Friday afternoon. So grateful to be done that day... even though I feel like my last final of the day was dreadful, I was grateful it ended. Grateful for what my night held. Sure all of this may be important, but its not what this blog is about. My Friday night brings me to what this blog is about.
I know I mention people sometimes in my blog, but I never truly embellish on them. This blog is going to be different. This blog is going to be filled with pride. Filled with honor. Filled with love.
Last night, I took a trip to Azusa. I met my brother-in-law and sister there, with my mom not far behind. The night was to celebrate my sister and her achievement of being inducted into the Honor Society of Nursing. I knew this was important, but to be completely honest, I had no idea how important it was. I laughed hysterically at the phonetically spelled namecard for my sister, "JOR-DAN-uh." I dont know why I found this so funny, but I laughed for several minutes about it. After looking at the silent auction, getting dinner, and eating dinner, the night finally began. Several different women spoke. Scholarships and awards were handed out. The whole time this went about, I sat thinking My sister deserves an award. Shes unique. Shes special. Theyre privileged to have her in their program. She deserves recognition for her hardwork and loving nature for everyone she encounters. But I kept my mouth shut and continued listening to the names being called for awards.
My sister pointed to an older woman, aged around 80, and informed us shes very important in the world of nursing and even has an award named after her. Ooooo, we were very impressed. Actually, I barely understood what she was saying but I widened my eyes and nodded in acknowledgment. A few minutes later, they announced the award, sponsored by that lady. The Phyllis Ellinger award."The first recipient has a 3.82 GPA." Dang. This is nearly impossible to achieve in high school, let alone college, let alone nursing school! "She has wanted to be a nurse since she was a little girl, but got a little derailed on her track to nursing.." haha, thats Jordanna... "derailed on the nursing track"... "...when she was involved in a car accident as a child..." My mom and I both turned around, our eyes wide, to see my sister, hands folded in her lab, listening to the speaker, with a small, humble smile on her face. "The experience made her turn away from nursing, but she is back with a strong desire to possibly even return to the hospital she stayed in, to work as a nurse." She continued talking, my mom began tearing up, I couldnt smile any bigger, John was clearly proud, and my sister remained unaffected - "cool and collected" you could have called her. Her name was called and she walked up on stage to receive her award. I took pictures, which are kinda dark, so Ill have to lighten them... I dont know how... bleach? John took pictures too, so hopefully those turned out better. What a big deal though. This really was a big deal. She won the Phyllis award!
Then, she passed along the stage, being pinned and corded. Here she is post-pinning-and-cording. (Sorry its a little far away...)
I am so proud of my sister I cannot even explain. She is incredibly intelligent. She is kind and welcoming. She is accepting of all people, regardless their looks, beliefs, or personalities. She shows a love for creation that is purely rare. She is unique. She is beautiful. She is talented. She used to be afraid of the vaccuum when she was little, but I would never ever trade her for a sister who wasnt afraid of the vaccuum. Shes gifted.... in so many ways. Shes humble, never boastful, never prideful. She says she is blessed, but truly, she is a blessing to anyone who comes in contact with her.
A girl spoke about the importance nurses have, as Christians. How they have the ability to, not only, physically help the person, but spiritually. She told a story about how a girl asked her why she was the only nurse who truly loved her mom. It was because she was a Christian and because God loves her mom. I know my sister will have tons of stories like this. She already has a few. Its these qualities, these traits, that made her unique and valuable.
My sister will save lives. She will do it through her nursing knowledge. She will do it through her love for them, because they are Gods creation. She will save so many lives. With her actions. With her words. With her love. If this all seemed "sweet, but kindof unrealistic" you havent met my sister. Plain and simple. This is my sister. My sista from the same motha. My sista from the same Father. He is the One who has given her these abilities. And every day, she gives Him the glory for it. That is why she will save lives. That is why she will make a difference.
So I had a hard week. So I had a hard few weeks. It didnt matter. It was Jordannas night. It was a night to celebrate her achievements. I wanted to be there. I wouldnt have missed it for anything. Good job sister. Im proud of you! And youre almost DONE!!! =)

A Twilight Night

Last night my roommate, Monica, and I watched the Twilight movies. Theres two out right now. You see, we arent die-hard fans. We just cant seem to understand the concept of a love story involving a vampire. You cant either? Dont worry - its not the most usual story anyway. But several days ago, I said to Monica, "Monica, I feel, as girls, we have a duty to watch Twilight." I received the strangest look. I followed with, "That way we can know what all the hype is about... obviously, well make fun of it." So it was decided. Friday night, we were going to watch whatever Twilight movies were on dvd.
Our friend Lauren joined us for the Twilight Saga. We ordered pizza, made some snacks and got all settled to embark on whatever adventure we were headed for.
The covers of these movies was enough to entertain us for a good few hours. But we pushed them aside and began with the first movie. Wow. Theres definitely enough to make fun of. From Kristin Stewart, who could barely act to the lipstick Robert Pattinson wore the entire first movie. We laughed and made jokes the entire movie. The lines were corny, the "creepiness" was definitely creepy, and obviously the plot was completely unrealistic. Besides the existence of my vampire ex-boyfriend, its just completely wrong. However with about 20-30 minutes left of the first movie, I noticed we were all enticed by the movie, staring intently at the screen, and hadnt made a joke a good while. I commented on this and immediately we all started laughing. We figured it was because the whole movie was rather slow and finally, it picked up so we were finally entertained. I had to admit that the way Edward is protective of Bella is super cute. We all admitted it. Its kinda what made the movie. We finished the first movie and began the second.
We were told at Blockbuster that the second movie was much more entertaining and quicker than the first. That proved to be right, but we were already in support of Bellas relationship with Edward, the vampire. When he left in the beginning of the second and we were left with Jacob, the warewolf, we were a little disappointed. Jacob did leave us with plenty to make fun of though. I like Edward though, so I wasnt as much of a fan as the second one - even though it was a little faster.
After the movies were over, I found myself interested in what was going to come next. As in the next movie. I admitted I was a part of Team Edward. No, Im not a die-hard fan, but Im intrigued. Besides, I figured out that its not the plot girls fall in love with. Its Edward. Its the character Robert Pattinson plays. Its how hes protective of her and willing to do whatever to keep her safe. And shes not the easiest person to keep safe - with all the shennanigans she gets herself into. Now if a girl is Team Jacob - I dont get that. Robert Pattinson truly makes the movie. As I was talking with Monica and Lauren about the movies, we discussed who we liked better. Thats right - we found ourselves picking sides. I was explaining my choice of Edward and said, "He has so much self-control. Jacob just gets angry and turns into a warewolf. Edward can control himself. I mean, he even stopped sucking Bellas blood when that was what he really wanted!" I paused. We all looked at each other and started laughing. "Yes I realize what I just said and how strange this entire thing is." We all laughed harder. I never thought I would be interested in Twilight. Monica suspected this would happen for both of us, shes curious of the next movie too. I didnt expect to form an infatuation... though Im not addicted or infatuated, just intrigued. I thought we would laugh and laugh and be done with it. And truly, they were some of the most ridiculous movies Ive ever watched. But, like I said, its Robert Pattinsons character that makes the entire story worthwhile. So now, we have all these tween girls running around thinking Edward is a real guy out there, who will save them from other vampires and wolves. Ah delightful. Anyways. That was our night. Twilight. Filled with lipstick, solemn music, rehearsed de-shirtings, corny acting, and oh thats just the beginning!! Theres more to come! We have to find out what happens next!

Decisions, Decisions

If you are just beginning to follow me on my adventure through life, I would advise you go back a few blogs to learn about my control issues before reading this update. It would give you some understanding as to why this time is so difficult for me. Well today I felt I made a decision. It wasnt a decision that was made out of irrational behavior nor discontent with my surroundings. It was a decision that has been sitting on my brain for a while now. I shoved it to the end of my thoughts, prioritizing with what was most important and needed to be dealt with immediately. School definitely takes the front seat in the priority bus... actually... it drives the bus. Thats right. Thats how controlled and driven I am by school.
Well. My decision hit me while I was sitting in my 8 am Exercise Phys class, running on less that 4 hours of sleep. (Though sleep did not play a roll in my decision, I felt it necessary to place your feet completely in my shoes.) As I sat in class, I was handed 3 labs to complete in the next 2 weeks, containing such activities as running a mile as fast as I can. I dont think the question is how fast can I run the mile - rather than can I run the mile without stopping. Not only did this shut me off to Kinesiology, but it scared the living daylights out of me. It isnt a "I think I can" deal, its a literally not possible-not gonna happen deal for me. Anyways. We also had to walk a full mile. Im sure it isnt as difficult for my spunky, 20-something professor who is so sweet, but is running on a lot of endorphins from exercise (if you dont know what I mean, Legally Blonde states it perfectly = "Exercise produces endorphins. Endorphins make you happy!"). I sat through class wanting so bad to walk up to her, give her my lab, and walk out to never return. I had made my decision that I was switching majors.
Thats right. Shocked? The fact that I actually contemplated it shocked me too. I walked back to my apartment, prepared to look in another direction. I took a shower, got ready for my day, and searched around in the University Catalog for options best fitting to the grad school idea - which would lead me to my dream job. I talked to one of my Biology professors, my favorite professor at CBU. He was encouraging, realistic, yet very helpful. I appreciated him taking 40 minutes to discuss my options and my interests and what could work or how to get there. I talked with my roommate, my best friend, about it over lunch. While I was telling her my fears and confusion - afraid to close doors that would be difficult to reopen, confused as to what I should do and what Im actually called to do in life, she tried to comfort me. She pointed out I may be looking in the wrong place, in the wrong direction. Maybe I have a huge house to fit my thousands of dogs. But thats all Ive ever thought about - all Ive ever dreamed about. If I dont have that to rely on, what do I have? My dreams for my career have been a constant for years. They have been something I can depend on. Even though I dont know who Im going to marry, when Im going to get married, where Ill go to school, how many times Ill have to apply to school, etc. etc. - I always knew I would be a vet. That was the most comforting thing. I knew something about my life. And it blew up in my face.
As I sat and listened to her, a verse popped in my head. Particularly because its hanging on my wall and it so applicable to what I should do every day in my life.

"In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:6

I smiled to myself, and felt a little comforted. I was still absolutely freaking out, but it told me, if I give everything I have to the Lord, and pursue after Him like no other, He will show me what He wants for me. He will always care for me, but He will show me in due time... as long as I look to Him for direction.

I finally talked to my mom later in the evening. I expected her to be 100% on board, as she typically is (especially when it comes to this school stuff). Which dont get me wrong, she was incredibly supportive and encouraging. But she wanted me to be sure of what I was deciding on. She told me if switching was what I really wanted to do, I should do it... but theres no reason to do it now. She finally persuaded me that it was ok to be unsure at times. And shes right. I do have time. I dont have a lot of time, but it isnt a decision that needs to be made by tomorrow. Whew! Can you breathe a sigh of relief too? Im sure your heart is pounding just as rapidly as mine.
So, false alarm. Im still a Kines major. Theres a lot of thought and a lot of research to do. I dont know if Ill be a Kines major by the end of the summer, but for now it is what it is and I need to focus on it. I guess this blog didnt really have a point. It was an update. But also advice. To not only you, but a reminder for me as well. Choices are made daily. We make a choice to eat a cookie (Ive had several in the past few hours). We make a decision to avoid homework and watch a movie (dont worry, thats not a reality for me). Choices choices. All around us. Some are larger than others. But in the end, its going to work out. Im definitely saying this to remind myself, at this point. But even if an original plan doesnt work out, its back to the drawing board. Im sure my planner has more than one plan for me... After all: God loves me. And my mom has a wonderful plan for my life. And Im expecting she has many to choose from if one doesnt pan out as hoped. =)