Eyes for the Blind... Colorblind....

Today, as I was sitting in Genetics, a humerous situation arose. Well, it was funny to a classroom full of Biology college students... in reality, it was slightly sad. It began with the exciting material of studying genetics. We are currently looking at how DNA replicates. Did I lose your attention already?? Bear with me - Im not actually going to go through the process of replication... I dont really know how much I, myself, am certified to explain. Yes, as shocking as it may seem, I am not professor material.

My professor is this Asian woman, who has her Ph.D. from Harvard in something really boring and hard. You can tell shes incredibly smart. Im grateful, though, that she does her best to produce the information in the most juvenile terms possible so my inadequate mind does not get entirely lost in the learning process. She uses animations for us to picture what shes talking about. For that, especially, Im thankful. Today, she was showing us an animation of DNA replication, complete with primers, helicase, polymerase III, etc.. Everything was color coded, in bright yellows, greens, blues, reds... She was so excited at one point when all the yellows (I think they were primers) turned to red (DNA). "Did everyone see that?? Ok, the yellows are going to turn to reds. Notice in which direction this happens... from 3' to 5' or from 5' to 3'." And she replayed it.

After the yellows turned to reds, she questioned if we saw it again. Two guys sitting in the front whispered back and forth slightly. And you know how professors always get irritated when people talk in their class, so they try to catch you and make you share your conversation with the class so you consider that next time you want to talk to your neighbor... So, she looked at them and made a face asking what was so important.

"Well... Brandons colorblind." Immediately, we all felt for the guy, but also started laughing, as Brandon, himself, helplessly laughed as his friend outed him to the class. Not that he really had a choice...

Obviously, Brandon had no idea what color was yellow and what color was red. Therefore, he couldnt tell where the change occurred. I vaguely remembered having class with these two guys last year and it came out in there that he was colorblind... I dont remember how, but I think Ive heard this information before. It didnt make it any less tragic.

My professor was a little stumped at what to do for him. "Oh... that makes things a little difficult for you when studying genetics then doesnt it?? Well! You can still see yellow and red though right!" And moved on. Obviously, there was a slight disconnect there at what Jim was trying to say about Brandon being colorblind. Brandon laughed and faintly said, "Uhh... no I cant see that."

This whole situation got me thinking. And Im not saying being colorblind is the worst thing that could ever happen to an individual... because I am very aware that it is not the most horrible "disability" a person can experience. But nevertheless, its sad. I started thinking of all the things that he has to miss out on.

He cant see the colors of flowers, so he will never be able to appreciate the spectacle of the rose parade. He cant see the beauty of a sunset. He cant marvel in the sight of a rainbow after a rain. He cant distinguish between the ocean and the sky. He cant see the artwork that God paints in the sky. He cant decipher between a day in spring and a day in fall. He cant see the brightness of a city lit up in the night. He has to watch tv in black and white! His Easter eggs all look gray! Etc. Etc.

Obviously, it isnt like I ran up to him and said all of these things... that would be like eating an ice cream cone in front of a child. But all these thoughts ran through my head. I developed a whole new appreciation for my sight... which is capable of being perfected with some heavy duty contacts. (Though, yes, I am close to being blind... which just occurred to me...) I smiled to myself as I observed a gorgeous stream of wildflowers on the way back to my apartment. I dont understand why colorblindness became a thing... I mean, I dont understand why that is a gene that is carried by some. That is just mean. Being blind is terrible, but its all or nothing. Being colorblind is like going halfway on that. I think its just mean.

Then I remembered another funny story that happened one year at summer camp for church. We were in a night session and the speaker asked, "When was the last time you took a risk?" We were given the opportunity to discuss this with those around us. After a few moments, he recollected us and asked if anyone would be willing to share. Someone from my church raised his hand.

"The last risk I took was today, while I was driving up here. I went through a stoplight and couldnt remember which light was red and which one was green..." The speaker looked puzzled. "Im colorblind."

Out of My League...

Well its official. My LAST semester of my undergraduate career has started and is well under its way. As of yesterday, I was approved for academic overload and was able to sign up for my last class needed to graduate in May. I am now signed up for 20 units - 7 classes and 1 internship. Yes, I suppose you could say, I plan to skate right through this semester. Since I cant skate, that would entail running into things, falling repeatedly, and a lot of struggle. This semester will be tough and extremely busy. I barely know how I have time to blog... but Im going to try to make it a priority as it does provide a bit of a release. Anyways, I could not be more excited to get it over with and continue on to the next thing in life - whatever that may be.

My schedule consists of a lot of general education requirements, major requirements, and a graduate school requirement. Genetics, Emergencies in Sports Medicine, History, Kickboxing (Im sure Ill have updates about that one soon enough!), Intro to Christianity (thats a story in itself), an internship, and Art and the Bible. Now lets stop at Art and the Bible. Actually, we have to because thats all I got.

Now, I would say I am a fairly creative person. Both parents I received my genes in that department from were generous to share their own creativity with me. However, I am not an artsy person, by no means. I will be the first to admit, I cant look at a painting and fully appreciate it. Museums and art galleries bore me. Plain and simple. Im sorry if that offends you... it just isnt my cup of tea. I took this class because it wasnt at 8am in the morning, it fit with my schedule, and Kaihla was signed up for it. I tried to take interesting classes and/or classes with my friends. For my last semester, I would like to kinda enjoy myself while Im trapped in a classroom for 50-90 minutes.

So, the first day of school, Kaihla and I embarked to our Art and the Bible class. First class of the day. First class of the semester. Though its a 400 level class, I still wasnt expecting it to be too difficult. I mean... art and the Bible. I feel like it isnt the most difficult thing Ive ever had on my schedule. No, that award would go to Organic Chemistry. Anyways. We walk in and choose our seats. On the board are two words, "coherence" and "praxis." As well as "art" and "Bible" with a line separating them in chart format. I looked at Kaihla questioning what "praxis" was. Neither of us knew.

Within a few minutes, our professor began talking, introducing the class. "Obviously you all are visual arts majors... maybe a Christian Studies major or liberal arts, but thats probably where the diversity ends..." Kaihla and I looked at each other. We were feeling very confident in that moment. He continued to talk as we both were praying "oh dear Lord, please dont let this be how it seems it will be..."

Then he began our first class activity. "I say art, you say - ?" He paused and stared at us, expecting us to have an answer. Silence. Personally, I didnt realize he had asked a question. Luckily, I dont think I was the only one. He tried rephrasing the question... "I say art, and you say - ?" Oh goodness. That "and" really cleared up the mystery! I guess when something makes sense in your own head, its difficult to figure out how to make it understandable in another persons mind... "When I say art, you say - ?... The first thing that pops into your head when I say art." Oh. That wasnt too difficult.

Now, my dear readers, when I say art, what do you think of? If you thought of "picture," "color," "painting," etc. you are in my boat. I was thinking I was doing good with those words... I quickly discovered my boat was a sinking ship and needed to up my game. Let me explain. My professor then went around the whole room asking people their thoughts on the now-apparent question.

These were some of the answers:

"Expression." 

"Individualism." 

"Emotion." 

"Exploration." 

"Transcendent." 

"Ambiguous." 

If you thought of a word similar to this, you are part of the elite club I will never have access to. Bravo to you! I sat questioning, What the heck does ambiguous mean?? I tried to give an appealing and intellectual answer when he pointed to me: "inspiring." Of course, my answer was the first that he gave that iffy face to and replied, "eehhh could be, sometimes..." Seriously?? Try as I may...

Finally he talked about the other words on the board. "In case you dont know, "praxis" is Latin for practice." Why the heck dont you just say that then?? How would we all know Latin?? I mean! Were not Latin majors - were Visual Arts majors. Well a majority of the class. Kaihla and I are Kinesiology majors, which is even more distant from Latin.

I kinda like my professor. He seems fine - so far. Hes just extremely boring. And uses words I dont understand. And asks questions I dont understand. Weve had three classes so far. Each class is similar to the last. This is a class where people dont really talk out loud. It is so different from the classes Im used to. I would help the guy out and raise my hand to add to the conversation he has with himself and tries to get us all into, but since I dont necessarily know what hes asking, I dont really know how to add to it. Hopefully though, the intellectual level becomes more simplified for those of us who are not attending an ivy-league school for a reason. Otherwise, the times I do raise my hand will end in a blatant fail on my part...

If You Notice...

If you notice, I have a "Daily Puppy" application on the sidebar of my blog. I periodically come on my blog just to see the cute puppies that are chosen to dress up my page. Quite often, Golden Retrievers are chosen. I love love love Golden Retrievers. Especially puppies. Who doesnt like puppies?? Although, Labs are my favorite. My sweet Casey was a little terror, but had the sweetest heart and made me fall in love with Labs. Anyways. I would like to point out, that today, January 15th, in honor of Steves birthday, the chosen puppy is a Golden Retriever named Carly.

Isnt she adorable?? 

Braking with a Purpose

I dont understand the concept of traffic. I dont understand why you can get stuck in traffic for an hour to get somewhere that is a mere 20 minutes away. My philosophy is: as long as everyone continues to move and flow, there should be no reason for everything to clog up. There should be no reason to brake, praying your spedometer rises above 10 miles per hour. Keep moving and there should be no problem, right?? Right.

But of course. People introduce flaws into my philosophy. You have a wide variety of people on the road, all containing their own agendas. It would be fantastic if we all worked together, which is another soapbox speech I wont dive too far into at this moment. But I will touch on it by saying, we live in a world that has become dog-eat-dog. We are constantly competing against other people. We have to. Competing for a job. Competing for attention. Competing for the last cookie. Competing for a parking spot. At some point, we must realize that only when we work together will the world be a little easier to live in. When we help each other out, well become better able to achieve where we want to go. It only gets doubly difficult when youre striving after something and you have to worry about watching your back because someone is going for the same thing. Dont believe me? Ill give you an example. Black Friday. Why is it called Black Friday? Because it has become a day of darkness. Of pepper spray, muggings, tramplings, deaths... Why? Because people are competing for things - toys, electronics, clothes, the best sales...

And that was only a small portion of my idea on working together in the world. Back to traffic.

Ill only do a few of the groups on the road, since this list can get mildly long. First, you have the slow drivers. Those drivers who insist on jamming up the fast lane and the lane next to the fast lane. Who persuade themselves they are doing their civic duty by keeping people safe by refraining them from going above 55 miles per hour. After all, the "slow lane" on the right gets interrupted by merging traffic, and that just wont work.

Which brings me to the second type of drivers - the mergers. These drivers believe they are automatically entitled to a spot on the road. They believe it is your duty to adjust your speed to suit their merging needs. If you need to slow or speed up to avoid a collision with them, well clearly that is your problem, not theirs. In essence, shouldnt we be gracious hosts by welcoming them onto the road with an open spot in the lane??

Third, you have the oblivious drivers. Those drivers who dont pay any attention to the people around them. They assume that if they need to get into your lane, you will accommodate them. And when they dont use their blinker, well hel-lo you should know their plan of action and anticipate it. These people usually drive in the fast lane at a slower speed, then realize they need to exit the freeway, um NOW, and then cross 5 lanes of traffic. Youre upset with them?? Well, you should know their plan and accommodate them!

Fourth, you have the precautionary brakers. Those drivers who like to let you know their brakes work and want to give you a small light show... since youre obviously bored. Theyre trying to entertain you, but really, theyre only entertaining themselves. These drivers often see a brake light maybe miles ahead of them and begin to prepare for a full-on stop. Since when is being cautious a bad thing??

Fifth, you have the speed demons, also known as the idiots. These are the drivers who really should get pulled over for attempted manslaughter because it seems at if their purpose is to kill someone. But as they weave in and out of lanes, dodging those slow drivers, they hinder the flow of traffic by cutting people off, tailgating, etc.. Though, in actually, we should be moving for them. Their destination is undoubtedly more important than yours, thus everyone should be clearing a path for them.

Theres several more groups of drivers. Some begin to overlap. Typically, mergers become oblivious drivers. Slow drivers and oblivious drivers have a lot in common. We also have the distracted drivers - easily engrossed by texting or passing an accident, the foreigners - either from a different country or different state or different city and simply do not understand how things work where you are, the overcautious drivers - who do not know how to drive carefully in rain so they must crawl through puddles to be safe, and the list goes on.

I am convinced that these are the reasons for traffic. It is not that there are an abundant amount of people swarming the roads at a specific time. It is not because it is 5oclock or Thanksgiving break. It is because you have people who like to hold everyone else up. Because everyone is working on that persons clock. I understand if there is an accident and a few lanes are shut down. Given, it doesnt help the paramedics if everyone tries to see what happened, but I understand the need for braking in an accident situation. In intense weather conditions, obviously, some slowing is expected and necessary. There is a time to brake and a time to either coast or gas it.

In case you havent caught on, I have gotten stuck in some pretty heavy traffic on several different occasions lately. It is absolutely ridiculous. Luckily, I am not the worst person in the world when dealing with traffic. Ive learned that driving along the side of the road is not the answer, so I must wait for my time to accelerate and leave the braking behind me. In those times, I recommend turning up the radio and singing along with the tunes. It is relaxing and distracting - not in the sense that you become a distracted driver, but in the sense that your mind isnt completely consumed with the frustrations of traffic.

Then there are the times, where youre flowin along with everyone else. Same speeds, not too slow, not too fast. All in harmony. Its pure bliss. You cant help but smile to yourself because the drive is just going that well. Then you see them. They start out in the distance, but their brightness is unmistakable. Brakes. Of course someone had to ruin it. And like the plague, its contagious and spreads. Before you know it, you have your foot on that pedal causing you to slow, as well. Throwing up your fists you plead "WHY?!" Before you know it, your question is faithfully answered.

And then you are so grateful someone initiated the braking sequence after spotting that dark squad car waiting for someone to come speeding around the bend you just came from.

Dress for Success

This past Friday night, I got dressed up. Yup. Me. Miss pjs all day, never wears make-up, barely brushes her hair, all about the comfort. Got all fancy. Why, might you ask? Well Friday was CBUs Christmas dinner banquet (kinda equivalent to a prom, but without the fun of dancing). And I got asked for the first time. Hes just a friend - dont even give it a second thought. Actually, I got asked twice. Its a mildly tragic story, but chances are itll be another blog to share.

So, I went with my friend, Kyle. Who, is actually my friend, Kaihla, dates friend. Confused? My friend, Kaihla went with Michael. Michaels friend is Kyle. Now that were all caught up, Ill move on. I had searched (at a very unaggressive rate) during Thanksgiving break to find a dress to wear to the event. Luckily, my stress was there, but minimal because we are just friends. I decided to wear a dress I had worn to a Winter Formal in high school. Thankfully, it still fit and is a gorgeous dress. I planned to wear my sparkly black flip flops and large black coat, since I knew it would be a very cold night.

To be honest, I was excited to go when I was asked, but that excitement kinda dissipated. I become stressed in these situations. I try to remember that its fun in the moment - prepping for everything and I usually enjoy the event I head to. But nevertheless, as I came back to school last Sunday night, I just couldnt amp myself up for Yule on Friday night.

Then, my week turn an interesting turn (not in a good way). It wasnt particularly busy. In fact, I completed all the things I needed to and wasnt stressed about school things hardly at all. But, if you read a past blog, youll see why I just was not feeling a celebratory, elegant event. I was in a very solemn mood all week, not wanting to talk to anyone or be around anyone. When Friday rolled around, I really was not excited for Yule at all. I was wishing I hadnt been asked. I was wishing I didnt have to get all dressed up. I was wishing I could throw on my sweatshirt and sweatpants and head home for the weekend.

In those moments, I grow so grateful for my mom and my sister. Who have very different ways of encouraging me, but both relay that they understand. My mom understood my mood and matched it out of her own empathy, telling me I would have fun and everything will be great. My sister understood my hesitation during prepping and tried to get me excited about everything, adding hundreds of exclamation points in her texts she was sending. Despite my desire to wave my friends off and climb into bed, having my 2 other musketeers texting me support provided a needed push.

Kaihla, Kayla, and I prepared. Doing our hair, make-up, and whatever else has to be done for these events. Kayla left first with her date - a true symbol of who "Lady in Red" was written for. Kaihla and I were running a little behind, but finally got our dresses on and headed out the door (only 25 minutes past the original plan of departure). I think Kyle was a little surprised at me. After all, we had hung out several times in the beginning of the week and before break and my attire consisted of jeans or pajamas, no makeup, and hair thrown up. Not my best looks, but Ive never been someone who has a burning desire to impress everyone I meet with my high-class fashion sense and easily-hidden good looks. Maybe its a good thing... Its mostly not, but I just dont really care. Anyways, I think Kyle was a little surprised to see how I clean up... which, I was too with the way I was feeling.

We headed to the Grand Californian for our event. Made it with plenty of time. Found our table. Connected with a few friends. [Actually Kyle connected with half the crowd... apparently my date is quite the social butterfly, which isnt really a secret to me.] Ate a pretty delicious dinner. Listened to a hilarious comedian. Walked around Downtown Disney a little. Headed back to school, with a pitstop at Cheesecake Factory for coffees/milkshakes/cheesecake. Then headed back to our apartment.

from left to right: Sam (Kaylas date), Kayla (my roommate), Kyle (my date), me, Kaihla, Michael (Kaihlas date)

Sorry if the description of the night was brief and boring... it really was fun. Of course, I would have rathered a DJ than a comedian, but apparently Baptists do not dance. So, that was just out of the question. But in all, I had a good time. Kyle was a very sweet date. We had a real good time. I loved seeing a few of my friends. The comedian provided some many needed laughs. It really was a good time!

But, boy, I was exhausted and ready for bed when I got back to my apartment. Sleeping until almost 11 the next day proved how true that was! (I may put a few more pictures up... seeing as I was not the camera possessor, Im stealing these. Muhaha!)

It is Well.... For Now.

One week down, 2-ish to go until Christmas break. And yes, its CHRISTMAS break, not "winter break." Because its centering on Christmas. Though I was expecting these weeks to be fairly simple, this past week packed a bit of a punch. It had good times, but was filled with grief (which is all stated in a past post, if youre curious). But even in all of it, my heart has swelled with grief and sadness, yet humbleness and gratefulness.

Im grateful for a grandmother, my own little prayer warrior, who listens to me and shares about herself with me. Who has an open door policy, embracing me (and my dog) whenever we visit. Who helps me with a homework assignment, trying her hardest to give me the best answers possible (I wasnt cheating - I was interviewing her, promise!). Who loves me for everything I am and is always praying for me and rooting for me.

Im thankful for a roommate, who helped me with my project/presentation with a smile. Who was excited to see me when I picked her up from the airport. Who has been bubbling over, in excitement, to tell me things. Who inquires about me and gets me.

For a friend who loves me and understands my not-always-needing-to-talk aspect. Who has stuck by my side this past week, despite my solemn mood. Who expresses her own gratefulness for me and love for me.

For a mom and sister (and other friends) who support me and check on me when they realize I am having a hard week. Who understand me and where Im coming from. Who encourage me and send me messages to get me excited for things. (Ill explain that in my next blog... I decided I wanted to split up the news.)

For finishing a project with ease and presenting it without difficulty. For a professor who accepted my rough draft of a project as my final draft because, well, it was just that good. Haha! For a professor who has decided to give our final before finals week... which is pure amazingness. For a professor who cancelled class and, therefore, cancelled part of our final.

For having a lazy day today. Where I get to stay in my pajamas all day, not doing anything. Literally, nothing. Because everything is done and turned in... except for my finals.

Despite a hard week, I cant help but thank the Lord for what he has given me. In this moment, I just cant help but be grateful. In this moment, it is well with my soul.

My Mascara is - apparently - NOT Waterproof

In case you ignored context behind the title, I will tell you: you probably will cry in this. If you have a heart. Which, of my readers, I am the one without a heart and I have been crying most of the afternoon, so you better grab the tissues if you really want to read this.

I have a professor here (well, I have several professors here) who I adore. This professor is my favorite. I have had him for three classes. Freshman year, I had him for my first class. Literally, my first class of my college career - Anatomy and Physiology. One of the hardest classes Ive taken. Partly cuz it was at 7am, partly cuz it was a very tedious class, partly cuz I was a freshman and the college thing was new to me, and partly cuz my professor was a very hard one. His tests were killer. The class was huge, so he couldnt get to know each student individually. But he prayed before every class. He had an open door policy and was willing to help his students if they showed they wanted it. He would share about his family, showing us how much he loved them.

I distinctly remember one day, he was in the middle of teaching and he stopped. He was obviously a little distracted and he decided to share why. His son, Harrison, had had a grand mal seizure just the night before. He wanted to stop to pray for his son and asked us to join him in it. The concern on his face was evident, as Im sure Im not the only one who prayed for his son after leaving the room.

The second half of the next semester, I had General Biology with him and I got to really know him. He shared he had wanted to be a veterinarian originally. We bonded over that. Hes the kinda professor who stops lecture to ask what type of lollipop I had in my mouth. I adore him. Hes hilarious and yet, the thing I admire most about him is the way he talks about his family and the way he loves the Lord. And in it all, he is the most humble man I know. Sure he jokes around, but he is truly the most respectable and honorable, most inspirational professor Ive ever had. He cared about his students and will do anything to help them succeed.

The next year, I had him for another class and it was the same way. I was given another opportunity to get to know him better. Again, one of the toughest classes Ive taken, but I adored him as a professor and man of God too much to complain or drop it. One weekend, I decided I needed to just go home because I felt as if the world was collapsing on me. I emailed my professors to tell them I would miss class on Monday. On Tuesday, in lab, he came to talk to me, asking how I was doing and providing some words of encouragement... My only professor who extended a hand like that.

I go in to talk to him, seek out his advice, see how he is doing, etc. I just adore Dr. Prins. He knows so much about the "excitement" of my life. And he advises me based on his own experiences. He cracks me up, but I find his wise and always inciteful.

Yesterday afternoon, I received notice that last night, Dr. Prins' son, Harrison, has gone home to be with his Creator. Ive met Harrison a few times and his heart is as big as the ocean. He was full of the joy of the Lord and only wanted to share it with the people surrounding him. He genuinely cared about people, even if he had just met you. He was definitely his fathers son.

My heart just broke for my professor and his family, who are some of the kindest and welcoming people I have ever met. I am confident Harrison is dancing with the Lord, all his difficulties are gone. But it doesnt always help in the moment with grief.

Last night, I caught him on facebook (yes, were friends, which came about out of a joke). I told him I was praying for him and his family, not expecting him to respond. But he did. He continues to praise the Lord for the things he knows to be true in his life... even in the midst of losing his child. At one point, he told me he hoped his other boys marry caring girls like me. My heart swelled. I just hope that one day, my father in law is like Dr. Prins.

Pray for this family. They need the prayers and the support. They know Harrison is with the Lord, which does help, but does not diminish the pain. Thank you for your prayers and for making it through this post... Hopefully it wasnt too tough for you to read.