Reflections

Well tonight is my last night of summer. Actually, its my last night home. I move back to Riverside tomorrow and start school on Wednesday. I guess, technically, that means Tuesday night is my last night of summer. But tonight feels like my last night.
Im leaving my home. Im leaving my family (animals included). Im leaving some friends. Im leaving my own room, my large bed, my own bathroom, I could go on... Im leaving the what I have known my whole life - the familiarity that I love. Of course, it isnt as difficult as other years.
Freshmen year I moved there completely blind; Not knowing what I would be getting myself into. Not knowing what would be around me, nor where my classes would even be. Sophomore year, I had a better idea of what would happen and I knew it would be better than the first. But it was still begrudgingly - I had 3 or 4 years ahead of me at Cal Baptist.
This year, Im a Junior. It has its positive aspect and its negative. And though I have noticed when I refer to a glass with water in it, I do say "that glass is half full," I really am not the most optimistic person you will ever meet. So even those positives, which I know are definitely good things, Im still reluctant to get excited about them. I know most of my roommates, and even though we arent the best of friends, I think we will be compatible and suit each other. I only have 2 years left - Im halfway through. Im dreading the crazy schedule Ive mapped out for myself. Im praying for the strength to not only pass my classes, but succeed, and retain all of the information that will be thrown at me. Im slightly concerned that Im losing so many of my closest friends this year, either after this first semester or at the end of the year. Im not going to lie or put on a happy face because I would much, much rather quit school and live happily ever after with my parents. Who says "happily ever after" has to involve your own castle? I come home rather often, I say its to maintain my sanity, but Im still moving. I live in Riverside and I visit my home. How weird is that.
But in the end, after I complete schooling and do what I need to do, I think I will be happy. I think Ill be thankful that I kept going. Even though enduring the tough stuff isnt easy (haha!) it makes me stronger and better equips me for the HARD stuff later. Im climbing an uphill battle. Not only is it uphill, but it has huge boulders and trees to go around. It even seems like someone is standing at the top throwing more obstacles down at me, too. But I do have help. I have supporters. I have encouragers. It helps. Knowing all this, Im still not excited. But I know its going to happen - happy face or sad.
And even saying all this, it still hasnt sunk in completely that Im leaving tomorrow. I still feel like I have another week or lifetime before I have to continue with my schooling. Ive worked almost every day this week. It made the week speed by. What a bummer. But the extra money will be beneficial. Anyways, I feel like this night is no different. Like Im crawling into bed, but Ill be doing the same thing tomorrow night. I force myself to do a little reflecting though, not so much I make myself upset, but enough. I realize most of my reflecting is "I dont want to go back." Hey, I mentioned Im not the most optimistic person.
But back to reflecting. I do reflect on the summer. Though I didnt go on any vacations, the summer spent hanging around the place I love the most - my home, was exactly what I needed. And as everyone around me knows, this summer was my most relaxing one. I dont think Ill have anymore, even mildly, similar to this ever again. My favorite aspect of the summer was having my dogs trample in my room every morning. Usually being woken up by their panting or shuffling feet, I never minded too much and would quickly fall back asleep. They spent hours hanging out with me. My worst feeling leaving is the guilt from saying goodbye to them. Them not understanding where Im going nor what is really going on. I guess thats call for a visit! =)
Well. This blog was a whole lotta nothing. Hope you enjoyed it! Its my last before leaving the wonderful comforts of my home. Then youll start reading about the intense homework I should be working on instead of blogging. Yay!

Doctors Orders

So lately, Ive been having trouble falling asleep. Actually, its been a problem for a long time now. Ive never been one to "hit the pillow and be out." Which is not always fun. Sometimes, people like that quiet time to reflect on the day and the events around them. I am not one of those people. I would much rather fall asleep. But my brain continues running, even though my legs are staying put. And it stresses me out. I try to think of nice things, but somehow I will hit a dead-end.
I tried the sheep-over-the-fence thing. As I was counting, I began wondering where these sheep kept coming from. And how could one by-pass my count, but still get on the other side of the fence. I tried making up names for every letter of the alphabet. But I would think of a name of a friend and start wondering how they were doing. Honestly, Im a hopeless case sometimes.
Thursday I visited my doctor about this problem. This summer it has gotten much worse. There has only been a handful of times where it takes me less than an hour and a half or two hours to fall asleep. Basically, she said I have insomnia. Which I actually thought only applied to people who couldnt sleep, period.... So I learned something new for the day. She gave me several recommendations: dont lie in bed and watch tv before falling asleep - sit in a chair (which is much more difficult than I had anticipated), dont drink any caffinated beverages, ie. soda, after noon (today is the first day that has been successful), try to do relaxing things before going to bed (no intense movies and such, which is normally fine for me to follow), exercise more often - but not right before bed (dang it! That was the only time I would exercise!), keep my room as dark as possible (if you know me, you know my room is as close to the room in The Holiday as youre gonna get, so Im set there), etc. etc.. You get the idea. She also said if Im lying in bed for 25 or 30 minutes and still havent fallen asleep, I should get up and do something - read a book, have some decaffinated tea, yada yada. Apparently studies have shown if you lie in bed for 30 minutes awake, it will take you longer to fall asleep. I informed her my body is well into sleep before my mind gets there so getting up will not be the easiest thing. She completely understood but encouraged me to do so anyways.
I have been trying to follow these orders. Some successful, some I still need to work on. Hey, Rome wasnt built in a day... Neither was Paris, America, or any other place. Not even a house can be built in a single day. But here I am. Its passed 10 oclock. Im tired. I have to get up early. I had a hard night at work, wanting to quit and never look back. I have to go to work early tomorrow morning. I want to go to bed. But here I am. Awake. Sitting up. Blogging. Following orders. Because I have been lying in bed for 30 minutes now and I forced myself to get up. Actually, I literally rolled off my bed. And right now, Im wishing I was still lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Who the heck did those studies?! If I get in bed and fall asleep within 10 minutes, Ill write a retraction, thanking those studiers, or as most folk call them - researchers. But right now, I think they made up their "findings." But who knows. All I know is Im looking at a computer screen and my eyes arent even beginning to shut or squint from the brightness. Goodness gracious.
Well. I guess I should try to fall asleep again. I need to sleep. I want to sleep. You probably wouldnt believe me if I told you sleeping is one of my very favorite things to do. You probably wouldnt believe me because you just read a whole thing about how difficult falling asleep is for me. But it is one of my favorite things. It makes me happy. Rested. Ive been dreaming a lot lately. I dont know what that means, but theyve all been pretty good, for the most part. Which also means, I would like to go to sleep to dream.
Here we go. I shall return to my humble abode. What the heck does that even mean? I just looked it up. I still dont know. But I think my beds calling. My body wants to answer.... We shall see if my head will be stubborn and turn away or also answer.
Pleasant dreams, dear readers. Hopefully, youre sleeping soundly at this point in time and not awake like me.

[Afternote: I did not fall asleep 10 minutes after hoping into bed. I lied awake for another 30 or so minutes, but refused to try the whole getting up thing again. Needless to say, writing a retraction to the post titled, "Doctors Orders," will not be on my to-do list.]

Respect the Badge!

First off, I must apologize to my small following. Im really not a good blogger. I feel like I dont always have a lot to talk about. Im not always the most exciting person to tell stories (or lack thereof, lately), nor am I interesting. I dont really provide a unique outlook on life, like my sister does. Im not a snake charmer, like my grandma. I dont meet interesting people while I clean their teeth, like my mom. But I have a feeling I might have more to report when I start back up with school. Though, those reports might be "Day One: I need to study 4 chapters, write a paper, prep for a test...WHY AM I BLOGGING?!" But lets hope not. Anyhow.
Lately, Ive been super into the TLC series "Police Women (of Memphis)." Stop me if youve heard of it. (Or just skip to the next paragraph.) They have different cities they follow, currently the city is Memphis. Its not my favorite city theyve done, but it is the most intense. The other cities show mainly drug busts, small misdemeanor crimes, etc.. On the series premier of Memphis, a man was found shot! Opening scene. I knew this would be good.
Dont worry. This isnt a report saying Im dropping out of school, and jumping into the academy. Through soul searching throughout the summer, I think Im good to go. I know what I want to do. Itll be a hard road, but go big or go home right? To end that short note, I will be returning to school in just a few short weeks... something Im not ready for, in my mind.
Anyhow, I just think it would be super cool to be a police woman. And to be quite honest, I think I would be kinda good at it. Ive been told Im tough... I know what youre thinking, Carly tough?? Shocker... But its true. Ive been told Im intimidating. I can handle the tough stuff. I like to be in charge, but I would like to have the authority to be the go-to person.
In several episodes, this cop is talking to people, who are disrespectful and just rude to her. She finally says, "Okay, I am the police! You respect me!" I think it would be kinda cool to be able to do that! I mean, in reality... who wouldnt?! Shoot.
I see a highway patrolman on the freeway and I instinctively slow down. Doesnt matter if Im already going the speed limit. I dont want to be pulled over! I pull up in front of, behind, or next to a police officer, I am sure not to look at my phone - even to check the time or whatever. The car gets respect without even demanding it. I would love to know what thats like, to drive down the street and turn to look at the car next to me and see someone driving, staring straight ahead, hands ten and two, going the speed limit... Id be like "Ya thats right! I got the badge! Im driving the car!" I mean, Id be saying it to myself - it might be bad if I took advantage of that position.
Then I think I could not go through all that training. I would definitely not be able to make it. Id end up being a mall cop (which is perfectly fine). Paul Blart - who takes his position like a police officer. But its what makes him the hero in the movie. Although, he had to be the hero. How tragic would it be if you have a movie called "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" and he ends up making matters worse and someone else saves the day? Then it would be called "The Other Guy." Haha! Thats a movie out right now... but with guys, plural.
..... And other random thoughts of Carly Danae. Well. Its 11:11. Make a wish! I worked today, yesterday, and am scheduled for tomorrow. I must turn in my license to blog for the night... Though after this randomness I should turn in my license to blog permanently. Who knows... Maybe some of you are enjoying this. Laughing your head off.
On another note, before I sign off. Honesty is the best policy. Even if youre honest about receiving too much money from the bank teller, so you have to give some back, it is the best. And I say that knowing in my heart, it was right. But being honest, in my head, we couldve had quite the shopping experience. All well. I suppose we can rest/sleep peacefully tonight, knowing we did the right thing.

Ode to My Mom

Im not actually going to write a poem... Im not quite that creative. But I know someone who is poem-creative! She is my mom.

I know this is a few days late, but July 10th was a very special day on my calendar. It was my moms birthday. I wont give away her age; I dont think she really cares a whole lot, but just to be on the safe side...

My mom is one of my most favorite people ever. Actually, I would venture to say she is my favorite, perhaps because it isnt a far venture. People know I love my mom, so its no surprise shes so high up on my list. Those of you reading this probably know my mom; but in the rare instance you came across my blog and dont know her, let me expand on the incredibly amazing person my mom is.

She loves animals. (That deserves to be on its own.)

We can laugh like Van and Cheyanne for long periods of time and not think the other is strange. Shes not only my mom, but my best friend. But she is first my mom, then my friend, which is exactly how I want it. We can laugh about how many times my real accidents have been thought to be false alarms - and then make jokes out of them. Shes never missed one of my birthdays, though there were many times I could not be with her on hers (I wont miss any more, Mom!).

Shes always ready to be called up to bat. (metaphorically speaking, of course) Shes always in my corner. Shes courageous. She refuses to be beaten; refuses to stay down. Shes respectable. And in addition, shes admirable. I respect my mom and admire her more than I could ever explain. Shes selfless, always putting her family before herself. She understands me, maybe because Im so much like her. She supports me and encourages me in everything I do.

Shes honest, and tells me how it is. Shes opinionated (Im able to appreciate this, truly admirable quality because Im the same way =)). When she finds something that is close to her heart, shes passionate. And shes dedicated to it. She still takes care of me when Im sick or injured (even offered to take me to the ER on this birthday!). Shes a mommy, not just a mom. Shes extraordinary. Shes intelligent and witty. Shes beautiful. Shes a woman of God.

Just to name a few things I love and adore about my mom. Hopefully, you understand why I love her so much. Not to mention its her BIRTHDAY! And people need to be celebrated on their birthdays!!!

I love you so much Mom!!! Thank you for always being in my corner and loving me and supporting me! Thank you for setting such an amazing example for me. Thank you for being my hero. I love you soooo much, my SuperMom!
Happy Birthday!!!!

The Chocolate Energizers

I would like to begin by saying this is not my story. This is not about me, I am not in it, nor did I even know these people when it occurred. But nevertheless, it is a story you would see in a movie and simply hilarious. It has to be shared. I havent written in a while either, so I thought I would give my readers, no matter what few they are, something to read. And probably get a good laugh out of. As I tell this story, you truly will think This is 100% from a movie, but I am honestly telling you that this is a true story that I was told straight from a stand-byer.
It occurred at work, probably a year or two ago (so before I began working there). My manager, Stephanie, told me this story. I will change the other name, though. Stephanie had come to a point where she said Im done and gave her two weeks notice. While she finished her time, an employee, Ray, from the hospital side took over her duties as manager so she could just do the job.
One morning, Stephanie and Ray came into the resort to begin their day. The day begins with walking the dogs and cleaning their rooms. They encountered a very distinct aroma walking in the door and knew they had a mess to clean up. Two chocolate labradors, Toby and Ginger (real names), had had quite the diarrhea accident some time during the night. Poor dogs. But they didnt act sick. They both were acting like your typical lab - energetic, excited, and friendly. Ray wanted to take them out for their walk, but was too impatient to wait for Stephanie to help. It might add to the picture if I told you Ray is not the manilest of men... If you understand. Also understand how strong these dogs are, combine that with their energy and you have a mixture that could be dangerous. You can barely handle one, let alone two. But Ray decided he could do it and unlatched the door to their room.
Before he could leash them or anything, both Toby and Ginger leaped up on him, knocking him to the ground. Of course, they arent vicious, so they began licking him and crawling all over him, excited and thankful to be out. The problem with this was that they were covered in diarrhea. So, instantaneously, Ray was covered in diarrhea too. At this point, Ray was trying to get his feet back under him and regain control of the dogs. Stephanie, watching the entire scene, told him to wait a second because she was right in the middle of something.
But still being impatient, he finally leashed the dogs, stood up, wound each leash around each hand, and headed toward the gravel yard. He was actually pulled to the yard, as a more accurate description. Once they reached outside, Toby and Ginger were so excited they could barely maintain the "walk" they had going. They lurched forward, preparing for a sprint. Ray had caught his foot on the mat walking outside and fell. That, combined with the leashes wound around his hands, along with the dogs running, means he was dragged several feet. Toby and Ginger, realizing Ray was on the ground, at their level, turned around and headed back to him... tongues hanging and tails wagging. More diarrhea and licking entered the scene. Poor Ray.
When he finally got up, he gave the phone to Stephanie and told her to take her job back. Obviously, she took it back, thankful someone understood how difficult and demanding her job was. This may seem very serious and unrealistic to you, but its very real and I will assure you it is okay to laugh. I still laugh about it!
When I heard this story, I could see how it would occur. I know Toby and Ginger. They are two of my favorite dogs that come into the resort, but they are younger labs, strong and energetic. To this day, Ray still jumps a little when he sees Toby and Ginger and wont go near them. They were just in recently, which reminded me of this story. I took them out for a walk and came across Ray. He tried to act cool saying hi to them, but ran inside his first chance. O man. I still laugh. Hope you enjoyed! And see the little hidden lessons within.

Labs = strength, energy
Diarrhea = extra caution
Winding a leash around your hand = bad idea

Wait for help!!

Quitters are not always Losers

I worked Friday morning. I almost quit. I almost quit on Monday, too, but that was for a different reason... probably a more valid reason, too. But I wont get into that because, for one thing, I dont think I should divulge those certain things. Anyways, Friday I came close to quitting. The reason? I almost went home with a dog. I know, this is not the first time this has happened. At least once a week I encounter an animal that either does not have a home or is not well cared for or I just love, and want to take home with me. But I cant. I cant take every homeless dog in. I cant kidnap every dog that I love or dont agree with the way they are cared for. So I consider quitting quite often. Consider whether it is the best option to remain working with all these animals.
I was bathing a dog before she went in for surgery. She was from the pound in El Cajon. She was adorable and so sweet. She was a dark tan with a black face (which is actually what I really really want right now after seeing some puppies like that and having a dream about having a dog that looked like that). She was a pit bull mix... I know, but I fell in love with her. And it was not just because she was sedated in preparation for her surgery. She was so sweet as she put her head on my arm while I dried her and looked up at me with her pleading, sad eyes while I bathed her. Mind you, I did not intend on this happening. I was told she was extremely extremely animal aggressive. But because she was so sedated, she didnt put forth any effort to attack. I felt this was potential to kick the aggression habit. I bathed her, dried her, and took an extra amount of time loving her. I didnt know if she was going to a family, or was just getting spayed and going back to ECAC. So I talked to her while I got her all clean. A girl I work with were walking back and forth by the tub. I said, "I really love this dog. I really want her." She just kinda laughed. I know shes had that desire before though.
I continued talking to my dog and told her about how this isnt uncommon, that I fall in love with a dog, but its usually because I know its a special one. Then I explained how much of an issue Im going to have being a vet... My issue isnt how am I going to treat ill animals. That will be difficult, especially when I lose them. But my problem will be how do I look at an animal begging me to take them home with me and say no?? I dont know how often Ill be able to. And this dog was animal aggressive. I have animals. There was no question she couldnt go home with me. My animals always take first priority. Always.
I finished up and decided I better take her back to the techs so they can finish prepping her for surgery. As I walked into the tech area with my stumbling girl, I looked at one of the techs and said, "I love this dog.... I really want her." She gave me a small grin and said, "Nooo.... Shes animal aggressive." I said, "I know! And I still want her!!" After I put her back in her cage, she told me she was going to a home after the surgery. Whew. I was so thankful someone was taking her.
The rest of the day, while I worked, I thought about various animals I wanted to adopt in my time of working. I figured out something about myself: I become attached to every animal I encounter. No dog is just another dog to me, its Gracie, or Harley, or Skya. Each dog is an individual. Each dog is special. Each animal develops a special place in my heart. I think thats also why my job is so hard and exhausting. I invest so much of myself in those animals. Each one has to get a greeting. Each one has to be given attention and feel special. They dont have their moms or dads to make them feel loved or comforted. Anyways. Im realizing all this about myself and my job. I think its good for me, but I dont know what this means. I dont know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I already know how it has destruct me... continuously bringing more animals home, to tear apart my house or whatever.
Word of the wise... if you love animals, dont go into a profession with animals. You have to love animals to be a vet, but you cant love animals. You have to be objective. You have to be able to think clearly without having your judgment clouded by playing favorites or feeling guilty an animal doesnt have a home.
And so I continue to contemplate quitting in various situations I face. And if I do decide to quit, obviously it means Im not cut out to be a vet... But that means theres another plan. It doesnt mean Im a loser, it means I have something else thats for me. Anyways. There is not really a point to this blog. Just thoughts. Confessions. Realizations. Curiosity. We shall see what unfolds from this new discovery....

However for now, my animals remain the sole holders of my heart. My animals will always have my heart.

Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like SUH-MER!

Ahhhhhh! (That was a deep sigh of relief, for those of you who arent sitting next to me - which is everyone whos reading this....) Summer has finally, finally arrived. I feel like life has been breathed into me, and not by someone through CPR. Ive been given summer, which has restored my sanity, my positivity (which is kinda rare, Im not generally the most positive person, to be completely and totally honest), and my gratitude for friends, family, and life. Just coming home, walking through the door, and receiving a huge lick as a welcome from my dog put a lasting smile on my heart that has yet to fade (it gets renewed every time I walk in the door). Though I have only been home for 2 weeks, I feel like Ive already been productive! I know, summer means you take a break from things and enjoy the time where you still have breaks before you embark on the working world until you die. But for me, I choose to get things done between the times of relaxing. And I still havent decided if its a wise choice to do so. Let me map it out for you.
- I found my dress for my best friends wedding... after a lot of searching. And Im super excited about it.
- I attended my sisters pinning ceremony (much like a graduation, except shes not done... sorry sister). In addition to this note, she was awarded the faculty award!! Of all the students... her professors like her the best. It means she not only gets good grades and works hard, not only is excellent during her clinical hours, but she also is responsible, dependable, encouraging, a true leader, diligent, caring, etc. etc.. Wow. Can you say that about your sister?? I didnt think so. (Well, Jordanna, you can.) =) Im so proud!!
- I went to my cousins wedding and got to see a side of the family I dont see often. It reminded me how blessed I am with my family and how much they love and support me. O and it was fun to watch my cousin walk down the aisle... actually... he waited at the end of the aisle... but still!
- We celebrated 10 years of bringing Steve into our family. No, I didnt take cupcakes to celebrate, but someone sent an Edible Arrangement and we made chocolate covered strawberries! (Drizzling chocolate is not easy... take my word... but the cause was completely worth it.) Arent they so cute??? This was taken at Disneyland for Steves birthday. I love this picture of them! (They also got all fancy and went to dinner... super cute!! Ill try to add a picture at the end.)
- I found a FAN-TAS-TIC sandwich shop. Ho-ly cow. It is fabulous.
- I became CPR certified!! I can now save a life if someone is in respiratory or cardiac arrest. At least, I can try to keep them alive until the real life savers like the paramedics get there.... Then the nurses take care of them... I think you know what nurse Ill trust my life with.
- We celebrated my favorite mom for mothers day. Not only is she my favorite, but shes the best. Its proven. Dont argue with me. Although, if you know my mom, you know shes pretty amazing. And I got to listen to an interesting sermon at church. Needless to say, I will never take a bug from my child when she show me. Sorry future kids... I still have issues with that bravery. (Sidenote: The picture on the right, of me and mom wearing teal and black at Jordannas pinning ceremony.... ya totally not planned. I walked out wearing that and Mom was wearing her outfit.... We are mother and daughter for sure.)
- I started back at work. Whew. And boy am I wiped out. Ive already been called in on a day off! But its good for me and Im glad Im there to help. And I feel truly wanted and needed, so I think its a good place for me to be.... especially after this year. And hello. I get to wear scrubs. Does life get any better than that? I didnt think so.
I think thats it.... but thats a lot! I felt like I havent blogged in a while. I didnt have a lot to say, so I decided to list current events. Sorry this isnt newscast style, but hopefully it was interesting while being educational of Carlys events. As a total sidenote that may be completely irrelevant and random, I have become slightly addicted to a show I found. Several days ago, this show had an all-day marathon. The most random and slightly disgusting show Ive ever stumbled upon, I quickly became fascinated and watched six 30 minute episodes until I had to leave. A new episode is airing tonight in a short bit. I know, youre biting you nails to the nubs... what is this show?? What could it be?? It is called Billy the Exterminator. I told you, random and weird. But call it what youd like, I am learning a lot. Cockroaches are the worst insect to invade your home - they carry LOTS of diseases and can live very easily... I wont give detail on how exactly...
And now I will try to leave you with the picture I promised of Steve and Mom all dressed up for their anniversary! Arent they cute?!? Arent you proud of me trying to use pictures!? Maybe its a little cluttered... but I bet its a little more interesting! ;) And now my show is starting. I must not be distracted... Ive been looking forward to this for several days now. Maybe Im strange, I dont know, but I dont care either. Until the next blog.... TTFN! Ta Ta For Now!