I didnt expect this week to be a difficult one. I didnt expect this day to bring me to tears. Actually. On the contrary, I expected this week to be very busy, but fun and fast... leading me straight into the weekend with my birthday. But it has been fairly difficult, extremely busy, stressful, and crawling by. But, of course, its been manageable. I actually expected today to be a really easy, fast, fun day. Yes, theres homework, but I had one class and it had a test. Within 15 minutes, I was out of there and still have my whole day to look forward to. But this day packed an unexpected punch. Not a bad one, by all means... although I guess a punch cant really be taken in a good way... Let me rephrase. This day provided an unexpected... unexpected. There. Thats the best I got.
I found out the other day that my sister would be having surgery today to take out a tooth that had 'resorbed.' Meaning it died. Given, my sisters teeth are cleaner than mine. But it stems from an accident we were both in 12 years ago. An accident that truly changed our lives. Shaped us into the people we are today. Gave us an understanding and gratefulness for life. We never thought wed be returned to the accident in such a way that Jordanna has faced. The way Im laying this out may be confusing. But if you read my blog, Im sure you know all about what Im talking about.
Jordanna was 12. She had several injuries that no doctor expected her to make a full recovery from. Let me make that simpler. Doctors were shocked she survived. My sister nearly died. One of the injuries was a broken jaw, which led to the more recent discovery of a resorbed tooth (apparently, this can take years to happen/discover, which is exactly what happened). Anyways. Today she had the tooth removed and will have an implant put in tomorrow. It will appear as if nothing happened. But she knows what happened. And so do we.
I called her this morning to tell her I was praying for her, but I missed her. I knew this was a big deal, but I dont think the full extent was really understood... until I read her blog.
I am able to recall aspects of our accident the best. I typically can do it matter-of-factly, rather than becoming emotional. Mind you, I was 8 at the time of it and therefore didnt understand the complete gravity of everything. But her interpretation of it in her blog brought me to tears. I know how blessed I am that the Lord decided it was not her time. I was reminded of that again today. In a new way.
Today, I was reminded of the days in the hospital, seeing her in her coma. Seeing her in therapy. Seeing her want to talk so bad that she broke the bands keeping her jaw shut after surgery. Seeing her face obstacle after obstacle, yet putting a smile on and gaining determination to prove everyone expecting the worst wrong. She was so inspiring. That hasnt changed.
Today, I was reminded how close I came to becoming an only child. Some people want that. I dont. Especially with the sister I have. I wouldnt give her up for anything. I had glimpses of what my life wouldve been like without her. It would be so dull. It would be so depressing. There would be no spurts of joy she brings. No extra brightness in a room when she walks in. No love and understanding she provides. It would be so hard.
But today, I dont have to think that way. I dont have to wonder what she would be doing today and what type of impact she would have on people. (My sister is the type of person who really touches people and can make a difference.) I dont have to wonder who she would become. I dont have to miss her.
I get to be grateful I have her. I get to thank the Lord He didnt take her. Her time wasnt finished. I get to smile remembering something she said the other day. I get to be excited to see her this weekend. I get to talk to her husband and know her surgery went well. I get to feel so incredibly blessed to have my sister.
Today is a day of remembering. It is a day that couldve been a terrible day. It could be filled with tears of asking why and what-if. But its not. It is filled with tears of joy, knowing she is alive and well. It is filled with an appreciation for her. It is filled with feeling blessed.
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