It Would Happen to Me...

I have 5 days of classes and finals left to go. And in the midst of that, I get to go home for Easter break. I really cant describe how excited I am for this Easter break, and especially summer. I love home. Plain and simple. But Easter is special to my family. Well, Easter and Christmas. Two of the most important "holydays" for Christians. Speaking for my family, we didnt always get to spend those days together, so each one we have together now means so much more. I think Easter might be a little different this year... But this year seems to have a lot of things going on around it. As long as were all together, I am ultimately ok with that. Then summer. Well. Its summer. And I get to go home. Nuf said.

But until those days of bliss occur, I am stuck in smoggy Riverside, studying my little tush off. Not actually... I wish. On Friday night I decided to hang out with a good friend before embarking on my weekend long homework/studying extravaganza. We went to the plaza (a place with a few shops and food places) to grab food, then we were going to watch a movie. Well. It was Friday night. At the Plaza. Therefore, the crazies were out. And this is where the story begins.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you are basically wearing pajamas, or sweats, no makeup, probably needing a shower, hair in every direction, and decide to run to the store - hoping to not run into anyone you know? But not only do you run into a ton of people you know, but upon a speedy get-away down an aisle with your cart, you run into a stand holding kleenex or trip over the wheel of the cart. Well. Maybe this example isnt quite a comparison to my story, but now youre on my page.

So, Kaihla and I head to the plaza, pull in, and begin searching for a parking spot. Let me assure you, it was crazy. And every person we came across very clearly did not know which way was left. It was one of those "WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE?!" moments. It was also a moment of desiring for a cop, who could direct people a little better. The story is a little long, but in short, someone almost hit me, someone else stole my spot I had been waiting for, and we almost witnessed an accident by a car backing into another car. It couldve been a movie. I was wishing I had my moms car so I could be a bully to all these little cars who were bullying me.

At one point, I wanted to turn down an aisle, but couldnt see around a huge massive truck who didnt pull in its spot completely. And the cars were not about to wait for me to turn down it. So after 7 or more cars went by me, I decided to go - knowing someone would have to wait for me. One of those "someones just gonna get mad at me and theyre gonna have to deal with it - Im mad too" moments. So I turn...

And theres, of course, the biggest truck waiting to go by me. So Im saying to myself and Kaihla "hes gonna have to wait..." as Im squeezing by. But I couldnt totally fit. And as I look at the guy whos driving the big truck, I recognized him. Great. He waved me forward, kinda laughing and finally - finally - I got out of there. (Well then we went around and found a spot finally.) But as we pass him, both Kaihla and I are like "he goes to CBU!" Then I realized he not only goes to Cal Baptist, but hes in one of my classes. Faaantastic. And seriously this WOULD happen to ME. So were laughing, cuz what else could we do at that point?

But I felt bad and Im thinking I have to see that guy on Tuesday. And this isnt one of my huge classes, where the professor lectures and everyone sits and listens and doesnt interact. No, this is a small, interactive class, with one of my favorite professors. I talk all the time in this class. And if I dont speak up, my professor will call me by name and ask what I think. Ya. Its like if he ignored class one day, chances are high he didnt the next...

So I decided to find him through facebook, which was easy, and I emailed him. Like I said, I have class with him. Luckily were almost done, but I still would rather him not refer to me as the stupid driver or whatever. So I email him beginning with "this is super duper incredibly random, I know, but Im in your blah blah blah class and slightly cut you off/pulled in front of you on Friday...." And it went on from there. I assured him I really wasnt a bad driver but that I was frustrated and HAD to go at some point. And like I mentioned, I had class with him... so I wanted to apologize before class on Tuesday.

He responded. Obviously hes really nice. But he says "dont worry, you definitely are not the worst drive Ive ever seen.... I work on an ambulance and I see a lot." Oh great. I guess I should feel better? I promised him I always pull over for ambulances with their lights on. I think he appreciated it.

But theres my story. I know some of my blog readers like my stories like this.... where I do something insane. You just never know when youre going to run into someone you know... but not only that, you just never know when youre gonna do something ridiculous to a person youre fairly familiar with, if not see on a regular basis. Im not saying I was wrong in my actions - Im firm to stand that I didnt have much of another choice. But anyways, I think everyones been in those situations.... and they arent fun. But of course, it would happen to me....

Cancelled Class and a Sweatshirt

Two blogs in a week! How lucky are you?!

Well its only Wednesday, and yet I feel as if it should be Friday. The last weeks of school always seem to be the longest. I feel as if this semester has flown by, which is never a bad thing. But now time has to make up for itself, so everything has to slow down. The past 3 days have been bru-tal-ly long. Ridiculous is really what it is. And on top of that - school is coming to an end, so my brain is on summer mode. My mind is thinking about the things I need to do over summer and things I need to do to prepare for the summer. What needs to be completed now is just painful to do. I am having the most difficult time making it a priority. And in the midst of that is just dealing with daily life... which is never a dance in a prairie field for me. Ill spare you all those details, though.

Like I said, its only Wednesday - luckily Wednesday is almost over. Monday is my longest day and it proved to hold up its promise. Tuesday was just as long, filled with errands and homework in the middle of classes. Tuesday I woke up in a funk. I had to finish a paper that was due that day and had been really struggling with where I was going with it. Ya, Im a Kines major, I dont write papers. I finished it, but it was pretty tough. Took a shower and began to get ready for my day. It was one of those days where you just dont feel like getting ready and everything. You just want to crawl back in bed and not face the world. One of those you dont feel like anything looks right and nothing is making you feel better, so you would just rather not. And, of course, the sun was shining brightly and the air was warm, ruining my longing for a sweatshirt. I finally decided on clothes, ignored the possibility of makeup and making my hair controlled, and was ready to head out the door with my roommate around 10:45.

The whole walk to class, I complained about having to go and how I would have missed class today if it werent for my roommate. She didnt make me go, but I enjoy having the class with her, so I would rather go and have fun. I just was not feelin class. I wasnt feelin my outfit. I wasnt feelin the day, at all. We arrived at the room and found our seats. Strangely enough, our professor was nowhere to be found - which is abnormal. I ran out to talk to another professor, whos office is in the building. My conversation with him was to be about various opportunities for veterinary hours. I was trying to schedule a visit to a ranch of a woman who works at the school and has a lot of other veterinary connections she wants to share with us. Halfway through talking to him, I felt the need to check on my class. I opened the door to an empty classroom and my roommate waiting for me, notifying me class had been cancelled. Apparently, all of us smart collegiates had missed the sign on the door saying class was cancelled. Praise. The. Lord. I finished my conversation with my professor, then headed back to the apartment.

As I walked, I started laughing. I had been complaining, wanting class to be cancelled.... and long behold, God answered my prayers. I got back to my apartment. Since we had time, Cayla and I went out on the front lawn to soak in some Vitamin D. Then we ate. Then I went to class. Then I met with another friend to talk to the woman about a ranch visit. This conversation went AWESOME. Literally better than I could have ever wanted. We now have a plan to go to her ranch next Friday for a BBQ... and theres a possibility well go horseback riding!!!!!! Which is something Ive wanted to do for yeaaarrrsss. So stoked. And again, I found myself walking away, thanking the Lord for this amazing opportunity He has provided.

I texted a professor to let him know he should be excited to hear about the conversation we had! The rest of the day kinda went. Nothing to report. Just lab and such. Then this morning, I again, had a difficult time of waking up. When I finally convinced myself I needed to, I took off my mask to reveal a very dark room. I smiled in my head - physically smiling would have taken too much effort that early in the morning. I went to the bathroom and came out to see the weather. The sky was blanketed in a light grey color. My heart skipped a beat. I would be able to throw on a sweatshirt... my desire from yesterday.... the desire that had carried to today. I walked back to my room, threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and was ready for the day. Again, I found myself thanking the Lord for providing me with a day to wear a sweatshirt.

I embarked on my walk to class, sat through a boring lecture, then went to talk to the professor I had texted about the veterinary opportunities. He nearly jumped out of his chair, he was so excited to hear what we had to tell him. We ended up having an hour conversation with him. I gave him a hard time about not texting me back.... which he didnt realize he had even received a text... (that seemed insignificant.... but wait for it....) We went to our next class and, again, sat through a boring lecture. Halfway through the class I received a text.... from my professor, telling me I "owned this biochem lecture." Understand why hes my favorite professor?

Then I went to lunch with a good friend... Chipotle, nonetheless. Then had a random conversation with a guy in our class. The days have been a little random, but there have been interesting things in the midst of it all.

I found myself laughing the past few days, especially with my class being cancelled and todays weather. Im not saying I am the reason for those things to happen... but Id like to think so. Just kidding. But really, I was cracking up because I was complaining and just so over it all and here God comes with his great sense of humor. Kinda telling me stop your complaining, Ive got it. Telling me hes in control and that he will take care of me. Giving me reasons to praise Him, not that I should have to have specific reasons. But reminding me Hes GOT this. And I should just be trusting in Him with it all. This seems to be the consistent thing Hes been teaching me lately....

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun." - Psalm 37:4-6

Or if your dawn is a cloudy day.... like mine. =D

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”" - Psalm 91:1-2

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:4-6

This is the Stuff

Ive had a desire to blog for the past few days, but havent had any reason to (ie. I havent had any inspiration, no funny stories, no preponderances, (preponderances??? who am I???), etc..). So, I come to my blog to write something, my fingers hovering over the keys, waiting for some initiation from my brain... nothing. I wait. My fingers remain ready to type, ready to catch anything my mind thinks of.... nothing. Significant fail. So I decided I would post anyways, and force my fingers to type... even if my brain isnt on board with the documenting.

Luckily, you dont have to hear random babblings because finally, something came to me. Earlier this week, my good friends dog was attacked by another dog while out for a walk. Apparently, the attacking dog came tearing out of a house, through a door carelessly left open, and began attacking my friends dear dog. Little Cotton is so sweet that she didnt even defend herself, but she took it. Before you get sad, she is doing good. She had stitches and tubes to drain any fluid buildup on the top of her head, but she is doing really well. I met her for the first time last night and she is just one of the sweetest dogs Ive ever met - and I have met a LOT of dogs... Much like my dogs, she is a people dog, desiring to be pet and loved on.

It kinda hit me recently how inspiring this little girl is. My sweet girl inspires me, too, but thankfully my dogs have never been in a situation where they have been attacked like this. I thought of how often we get attacked, out of nowhere, by the unexpected. Throughout life, we encounter storms - some storms pass, some are harder than others, and some people live in a storm... basically, permanently. Sometimes, you can see the storms coming from a mile away and you have time to prepare for them. Sometimes, you barely have seconds before they attack you from all angles, with no way of escaping. Whats important is how you deal with it and how you recover from it. As Christians, we are blessed to know we have a mighty Savior to surrender to. Surrender our problems, our struggles, our storms. Speaking for myself, being a control-freak, this is probably the most difficult aspect of being a Christian. I want to fix everything myself and typically have an extremely difficult time surrendering everything. Though I will say that rarely do I roll over and take it, which in some cases may be the best thing to do. Anyways. Back to my point.

This blog wasnt necessarily aimed to be about me. It was aimed to be a generalization about how life not only knocks you down, but it attacks you, and how were expected to get back up, dust ourselves off, and keep trekking on. Little Cotton experienced one of the worst forms of attack - a physical attack. But she acts perfectly fine. If it werent for her little tubes and stitches, you wouldnt know she had been so maliciously attacked. Shes inspiring - her happy smile and innocent attitude, refusing to stay down.

(Though this blog wasnt supposed to be about me - heres the 'me' part...) I came home for the weekend, after a long week. Nothing particularly bad happened, it was just long and filled with tests and studying and dumb schoolwork. I needed a bit of a break, so naturally, I headed home. However, upon entering my room, I noticed I had mail on my bed. Not abnormal, but its contents werent of the typical ads and such. This contained a ticket, which I had received a few weeks ago... I know - tragic. Well, this ticket turned out to be way more than I had expected. I became discouraged. Thinking about having to pay the ticket, needing to work to pay off the ticket, as well as, needing money throughout the summer and next year. I need to take classes this summer. I need to get in more observation hours for grad school. Instantly, my mind was taken over with discouraging, frustrating, and stressful thoughts.

Then I thought of little Cotton and her smile, despite tubes, stitches, swelling, pain meds... I couldnt help but shake my head at myself. Trust in the Lord, I told myself. Earlier this week, my friend introduced me to a new song. It is so applicable to my life. And especially with the fact that I just got a ticket.... The song is by Francesca Battistelli, called "This is the Stuff."

"I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

How awesome is that? It proved to be a friendly reminder as I listened to it, just last night. Ultimately, kinda random post... I know. But Ive finally blogged! And - to me - it was worthwhile to mention it all. Hopefully you got a little something out of it, even if it was knowing that you arent alone in your storms.

Quarters for Smiles

I was the child every parent refers to, the one they look at and say "I hope my child doesnt do that." Let me change that - I am still that child. What in the world is she talking about, youre thinking. Well, do you remember those claw machines? With tons of stuffed animals in them? Some contain other cool things, like electronics or movies, to attract adults. I am the dreaded person who begs for quarters to play those games. And I am not satisfied until I win something. Actually, I refuse to walk away unless I have something in my hands to display my victory to those watching, because you KNOW people gather around to watch... it becomes a spectacle.

If you have never played one of these incredible games, which typically are scams, preying on the innocence of young children - and me - who desire to have a cuddley creature to take home... let me paint you a picture so you can understand the process:

50 cents. "Mommy! Theres a claw game! Can I please please have 2 quarters so I can play to win a really cute monkey?" (Typically the prizes are random.) "Ok." The 2 quarters are dropped in your little hands as you clasp them, a giant smile spreading across your face.
Then you run over to the claw game, proudly displaying your 2 quarters for any other children around to see, because you got the quarters and they didnt. Then you gingerly put one in the slot, wait to hear the clink of it landing inside, then slide in the other one. The game lights up, the claw jerks to life, waiting for you to grab the throttle. Your little hands squeeze the throttle - its not about how tight you hold it, but something about making little fists makes you have more faith. You focus your eyes on that smiling monkey - waiting for you to save him from his cage, then to your hands around the throttle, then to the claw as you begin to move it.
You move the claw left, then forward, then a little more to the left, then backwards, then right, then forward, then left, making sure it is right over the monkey, who now seems to be mocking you with his smile. You quickly look down to see how much time you have left. There never seems to be enough time. With 3 seconds left, you push down on the button to release the claw. Because you dont think the claw knows what it is doing, you hold that button down until it reaches your monkey. The claw encapsulates around your monkey... You let your thumb off the button and watch helplessly, eager to see if the claw succeeded.
The claw closes, trapping your monkey within its metal bars. You smile, because you know you are taking that monkey to a good home. The claw begins to recoil, going upward. It drops your monkey because the grasp wasnt firm enough. You throw your head back and watch the claw return to its starting position, hoping that monkey might hop up to it to ride to the prize bin. But your monkey remains seated in the midst of all the other animals.
You hang your head and head back to your mom, monkeyless. Though she can tell what happen, she asks how it went. You respond, "Can I please have another 2 quarters Mommy?? I HAD it! I did! Ill get it this time! Please!" Seeing your disappointment and your refusal to give up, she digs in her change purse again and pulls out 2 more quarters. Before putting them in your little hands, she says, "This is the last time ok? This is it. I dont have any more to give you." You ferociously nod your head yes, but you dont hear what shes saying - you see those quarters and you are already planning your strategy to win that monkey. Besides, youre going to win this time. There wont be a next time.
As soon as those coins are dropped into your hands, you return to the claw.
If you dont know how the rest of the story goes, scroll up to the beginning of the simulation and read again. Do until exhausted... because that is when the child will finally give up.

I am 20 years old and I still go through this process whenever I go to Dennys. I cant imagine what would happen if I ever walked into a casino. This week, my family and I went to Fuddruckers. If you know what Fuddruckers is, you probably already know where this story is going. We ordered our food, found a table, and sat down. Instantly, I spotted a different variation of the claw game. Typically, I dont even go toward the games they have because I have gotten in trouble with them before. I know it is best to stay away. It takes a lot of self control, but I know it is in everyones best interest for me to stay away. This time, though, I thought I had it.

I walked over to check it out, figured it was something I could handle, and returned to the table for $2. Ya! $2! Steep, right?! Well this was one of those games that applied to the adults, containing iPads and iPod Touches. I have an iPod Touch. I dont really want an iPad, but I had to try. I mean... I had to. It taunted me. So my sister walked over to the machine with me, for emotional support. The first time I didnt know what I was doing and completely botched it. The second time, I was millimeters off... No kidding. Being THAT close, I had to try again. I scrounged up $2 at the table, special thanks to my family for supporting my obsession, and returned to the game. This time.... I HAD it! And I had witnesses. But the stupid directions werent clear enough. I even debated with the manager about it. I was standing my ground.

Long story just as long - I walked away empty-handed, defeated by the claw (or in this case, scissors). Every time I walk away from those things, whether I have a prize to show off or I have lighter pockets, I get frustrated. Its an absolute scam. No doubt about it. The companies who make these machines rig them to drop the toys or to run out of time. Everyone knows that, including me. Parents even tell their children that the odds are against them. Do you think that affects their desire to win?? Nope! Does it affect my desire to play those things and win something?... at 20 years old?? Nope! Recently, a friend told me he once won THREE stuffed animals from one of those things in one sitting. THREE! Are you kidding?? Thats impossible. Literally - it doesnt happen. I was so jealous. Heck, I am super jealous. Thats just not fair!

Anyways. Those games do 3 things. They feed on the desires of innocent young children - and me. They prey on children - and me - by dangling the things children - and me - cant resist in front of them. And finally, they scam children and their parents. Parents have to allow their children to try at least once. It is up to them if they are going to keep providing a way to play. But if 50 parents allow their child to play and give him 50 cents, thats $25! Shoot my mom still has a hard time saying no. Im pathetic. And I know it.

Its infuriating that people get pleasure - and money - from preying on innocent children. And yet, I am one of the ones supplying them with the chairs they are sitting in while they decide which cheap stuffed animals to fill the claw machine with. Dont get me wrong, I have conquered the claw machine a few times. Some of the happiest moments I have are when I walked away from the claw with a victorious symbol. Though those times are few, they surpass the memories of losing. Conquering the claw machine is one of the greatest accomplishments. I mean, you beat the system. You put in 2 quarters and walked away with a prize and the attitude of a winner, worth much more than 2 quarters.

Nameless

I now have 5 followers! I don't know if they all read my blog, but at least they've been documented!

- And now for the real post -

Today was an interesting day. It proved to be one of "expect the unexpected" ... or rather "not expecting the unexpected." I had a plan for the day. Class. Class. Bank. Starbucks. Homework. Not very exciting, I know, but such is life. Class - check. Class - check. Bank - well, heres where the story begins.

On my way to the bank, traveling down Magnolia, I noticed a fairly young looking German Shepherd weaving in and out of the street, in front of cars. I think everyones response to this is "Oh puppy! Get off the street!" Then a thought process of should I stop? What would I do with her? Well, as these thoughts went through my head - all remaining unanswered, I pulled up to a light to turn left in attempts of catching her, just as she skipped by my car. She was scared and obviously confused - I couldnt leave her. I threw my car into park and got out of my car to call her, just as she stopped in front of a long line of cars. Luckily, she came to me and decided a ride with me wouldnt be too terrible. No collar, no visible identification... faaaantastic.

I called my mom, declaring I had a crisis on my hands. I dont think there was any surprise in her voice when she found out my crisis involved picking up a stray dog and needing a place to take her. So I drove to an animal shelter I remember passing one time. It was a nice, newer facility. I, literally, ran in, asking for a leash, then ran back to her... My last desire was to be that person who leaves their dog in their car. When I came back, she was sitting in my front seat... something I know I will see often in my life - a dog riding with me in my front seat.

Luckily, again, she let me put a leash on her. I took her in and held her while we waited to be called. Poor girl, she was so scared, but she was very sweet. At one point, an animal control-er noted she was animal aggressive when she barked at two Pitbulls outside. She hadnt made a peep when we first walked in to see a chocolate Lab... But now she was labeled "dog aggressive." I felt for her. Im sure she wasnt. But she couldnt tell him if she had canine friends back at home or if she frequents the dog park. And I was just a girl who found a dog, so my opinion wasnt valid. I told her Ive been called things Im not, too. I think we connected.

Once I was called, I only gave the woman my id, told her where I found her, and then I was done. She told the animal control-er he could take her and I instantly felt my eyes blink back tears. What the heck??? Ive been with this dog for an hour. Right?? I asked what happens with her... Yes, my curious mind never lets me walk away without being answered. She told me her owners had 7 days to pick her up, but then she would be theirs, and since she was labeled animal aggressive, they wouldnt be able to adopt her out. My heart sank. I looked at her, sitting next to me, still scared. Did I just deliver her to her doom?

She gave me a number to call to ask about her, but at that moment I wished I had never brought her. Fighting back tears, a helped the control-er put another leash on her, took off the one I had borrowed, and told her goodbye.

As soon as Id left, my strength was gone. I started crying, thinking about how scared she was, how she might not get a chance to be reunited with her family - or find a home - all because that stupid man had pinpointed her as animal aggressive. I got in my car and began to drive away, struggling with whether I had done the right thing. When the "right thing" may lead to a loss of life, how can that it be right thing?

My mom assured me owners usually call the local shelter if driving around is a bust. I tried to reassure myself that she looked as if she had been well taken care of, not malnourished at all. Hopefully owners who care that much about their dog will want to find them. But I was still upset. I mean, I just spent an hour with this dog, allowing her to trust me, allowing her to become dependent on me... then I leave her.

And, of course, the question of why in the world am I becoming a vet pops into my brain. If I cant be objective in a situation like that, am I in any condition to perform surgery, put a dog down? I began to reevaluate my life goal. Obviously, Im still evaluating. And Im trying to figure out why I was put in that situation. I believe those are delivered to us for a reason. But Im having a hard time finding the reason. Is this telling me I am striving towards the wrong dream? Is this just a preparatory situation? Why cant God hand out scripts for these things - explaining how were supposed to respond, why its happening, etc..??

I titled this blog Nameless. Honestly, I was at a loss for how to label this situation. This dog had a name, Im sure, but I didnt know it. Secretly, I named her. Of course, I didnt call her it - I know youre never supposed to give a name... But, of course... I did. Because even though I didnt know her name, she was never Nameless.

Convicting Love

Well this ends the fourth week of school for me. This week was pretty crazy - filled with studying, papers, busy-work assignments, more studying, tests, lab reports, errands, and if I havent mentioned studying, well, that too. Not to mention the regular feeling like Im doing the wrong thing with my life and struggling with whether my classes and my occupation are right for me. Ive been wanting to blog, but I dont have any stories really to share, I dont feel like pouring out my heart, and I dont have a lot of inspiration on a subject of what to write. I have realized a large portion of my posts being with an unloading of school... Hum. Thanks for bearing through that with me - time after time.

February. Wow January is already over. And January is a fairly long month, with the full 31 allotted days a month is able to have. And now weve moved on to February. February is probably my least favorite month. For the obvious reason.

Now Ive been thinking about a possibility of writing about February: the Love Month for a while now. Long behold, my sister actually wrote about it. For those of you who read my blog, you probably read my sisters. So you have probably seen her blog about February, where she lists several things she loves. I was planning to take quite the opposite road than her... which is not uncommon with us. Jordannas lease on life is refreshing. Honestly. Both my mom and I think the same - its another day full of working/school, then coming home to clean/do homework then go to bed. Then wake up and start all over. My sister has the same type of schedule - wake up, feed and walk her pups, go to work, come home from work, feed and walk the pups, dinner, bed. However, she looks at each day as if it is different from the one before. Take any situation involving a frustration and, sure, my sister will be frustrated, but she will find something to be thankful for in the meantime. There is no other explanation for her view of life than refreshing.

Well this blog was no different. Regarding the month of February, (if you havent read it) she figured she should list a few things she loves: mornings, morning showers, breakfast, etc. Truly, she loves those things. They excite her. They bring her sincere joy. But I couldnt help but chuckle to myself. I hate mornings. I hate the sound of my alarm and I hate getting out of bed. I barely eat breakfast while Im at school because I stay in bed til the last minute... then am rushing to get out the door.

Anyways, before reading my sisters blog, I was planning to write about how I dont love February. I know Im in a different stage than my sister... Im not married - not even close. I bet if I was in some type of a relationship, my opinions on the subject would be a lot different. But, that is not the case. Ive been receiving emails from Godiva (chocolate) about "getting my special someone what they love (aka chocolate)." [They send me stuff cuz Im signed up with them.] But I would end up buying all that stuff for me. So you get where Im going with this. Lucky for me, my apartment is pretty anti-love. We talk about it. It helps with being anti-February. And then I hear a song like this:

You're nobody 'til somebody loves you
You're nobody 'til somebody cares.
You may be king, you may possess the world and it's gold,
But gold won't bring you happiness when you're growing old.
The world still is the same, you never change it,
As sure as the stars shine above;
You're nobody 'til somebody loves you,
So find yourself somebody to love.
The world still is the same, you never change it,
As sure as the stars shine above;
You're nobody 'til somebody loves you,
So find yourself somebody, find yourself somebody,
Find yourself somebody to love.

And I felt so much better.... right.... WORST SONG EVER. Although, I do have people who love me... just not the type of person they discuss in this song...

So I was going to focus on February as Black History Month. (And just as I type that, an Usher song came on...)

I think Black History Month gets overlooked... although, honestly, if they wanted the attention, youd think they would change it to a different month... Anyways. I was planning to celebrate February as Black History Month, rather than the Love month. (Lets face it, the Love month is so fun when youre ordering for one.) However, all of these thoughts were prior to reading my sisters blog. Well really, these thoughts were prior to yesterday, when I was thinking about them in connection with my sisters blog.

The two of us are completely different - this is the perfect explanation of how. But I decided rather than becoming a love hater (oxymoron!) I would try it her way. I was convicted of putting the word hate on things that really are a blessing. For example - mornings. Ok, I still dont love mornings. But I love having coffee in the mornings to wake me up, or just for a yummy taste. Without getting up, I wouldnt get my coffee. So mornings may not be my favorite thing, but they have perks. Im trying to catch myself before I look at something negatively and become a sourpuss. Im trying it the Jordanna way. Its not easy though. I give my sister props.

But ultimately, I am so incredibly blessed. I have been given so much that I dont deserve. And every time I say, "I hate _____" or just am negative, I am taking that thing for granted. Well see if this will last or if it will even work. But I am blessed. And I should be more thankful for that.

I do love flowers, though. And flowers signify love. Which is the sole purpose of February.... Maybe February isnt completely bad. ;)

New Adventures Yield Unexpected Memories

I love spending time with my mom. I love doing things with her. One of the reasons I love to be with her is because we are so alike and we think very similarly. We have common, if not identical, opinions and beliefs. We understand each other in a way nobody really can. (Even my sister thinks were insane sometimes. ;) Love ya Sis!)

Today, we embarked on a new adventure. I found a small bakery in Encinitas while searching for something else online. This place had great reviews and looked pretty cute in its few pictures. So my mom, being the good sport she is, suggested we try it out. Today was our last chance to go, so off we went - dressed casually - for a delicious brunch and a new adventure.

While driving, looking for the bakery, we passed several people in exercise clothes, jogging along the road. We both chuckled to ourselves, knowing if we lived at the beach, our time would be spent under the sun, parked on the sand, not necessarily going for a run. We parked and walked around the corner to the bakery. We connected while sharing our anxiety of walking near a busy street. (I actually have gotten teased by friends for this before... it felt good to know I wasnt alone.) Then we arrived at the bakery.

Well, it ended up being a lot different that we had anticipated. The food really was good! But the actual place was not what I was expecting. First of all, the place was small, and packed with Encinitans craving a yummy breakfast. We lurked, along with others, for a table, ready to pounce when our moment came. Luckily, we found a small table for two in the corner. We ordered our food and sat down to wait. It was loud, extremely crowded, and - in a word - overwhelming. I pointed out that I was grateful for a corner table, since Im not a big crowd person and probably wouldnt be able to carry on a conversation because I would be so distracted by the people around me. I know some people thrive off of this atmosphere... My mom and I - not so much. So it worked! We finished our yummy meals, grabbed our coffees-to-go, and headed back to the car.

Before heading back home, we took a quick trip around the block, since, ya know, the beach was right there. I took a few pictures of some houses she loved and I would not protest to living in. Then we started back to good ole El Cajon.

We stopped at Marshalls and Target for some unexpected (though, some were expected) goodies. Encountered some interesting people who dont understand the concept of "youre not breathing air... youre breathing my hair..." [I know in some countries there is not an option of personal space; however Im pretty positive these people have lived in this country for a while, being given the privilege of a bubble.] My point being that the whole time, my mom and I were so on the same page.

Though the day didnt quite go how we had anticipated, we had a good time together. I doubt well remember what we ate, or even how to get to the place, but I think well remember the little spurts of random and connections we had. I am so grateful for having a mom who gets me. Who thinks like me. We supports me. Who encourages me. Who isnt afraid to speak up. Who will laugh with me. Who goes on adventures with me. Who humors me. Who wants to hang out with me. Whos honest with me. Who loves me.

[I would post some pictures to go along with this post... but my camera wont load on my computer... so I dont have any recent ones. Until I figure that out!...]